Basically I am coming here for help with my relationship with her. I think it is obvious she likes me. I dont want to do anything to get her to stop liking me.
We are both in our early 20's, me 25, her I think 22/3. We are both close to the 50% mark on all our mbti letters, as in we may be introverted but we are introverted like 60-65%. We met almost 2 months ago, maybe less. Neither of us has had a serious relationship. My parents are divorced, hers arent.
We talked to each other for 6 hours a day for 2 weeks straight (2200 messages in that time), until she was rude to me. I love talking to this girl, on top of that I think she is really sexy and I think about her a lot. I love that she has feelings, I love that she will contact me and I am not the one who has to do the chasing(although I think maybe this may have something to do with the rudeness). Our conversations are fun, but there are lots of misunderstandings. I dont think she finds herself attractive, I think she sees herself as someone who is fat, I would totally have sex with her, and just thinking about her turns me on. Talking to her turns me on too, like no other woman.
Basically I couldnt remember until reading our conversations over again. The fight started like this, I needed time to finish my homework. We talked all of saturday until midnight, as in until sunday morning. I told her I needed to finish my work and she voluntarily told me she will stop bothering me, she waited 37 hours before contacting me again, on Monday, I was on my way to school, taking an intensive summer programming class. We talked that night and things were ok, but starting to get bad.
Tuesday, The next night we had the fight. Basically I tell her I didnt like her piercing thats on her eye. She says that her guitar lovers sister had a license to do it and so she had it done. Then proceeds to tell me how she loved his guitar playing but not his personality. So I tell her how this semester I met a girl who had a husband and was flirting with me.
She asks me "was she pretty",
I say "no, but other guys in my class thought she was. I dont find make up attractive"
she says "oh youre one of those? are you" among other things
I say "I think you look better without makeup"
her "I cant go out without makeup" althought she doesnt usually wear much, or at least from her pictures it looks that way.
I honestly do think she looks way better without makeup btw.
Then we end up getting into a fight when she says the following things:
she says "well you don't seem to be that durable and I need a durable man someone who has dealt with a hard life and has a lot of self discipline" among other things
so I tell her I dont like how she is talking and being rude to me.
then she says some other stupid things, and I stop responding, at the end she says "say it to me say it say you is a very black n***ga"
keep in mind we are both whites from the suburbs.
I thought it was really inappropriate and was confused at why she would talk this way to me.
6 hours after she says that last remark, she ends up apologizing and I tell her I need a few days to calm down after what she said. She made me feel sick with her behavior.
Saturday I send her a long message telling her that I like her, I think she is special, but that I never want to experience that again. We have conversation for a few hours, some of it about kids... then I made food and told her Im going to eat it, so I just need some time to eat food, like 30 minutes. She sends me messages again, and then it gets weird all over. This time I think there is someone over there with her, and apparently he is a "ginger" and after some back and forth she tells me I take everything too seriously and that I insult her.
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Basically I like her. I enjoy her.
What I dont like is the emotional up and downs, she is so moody. The first few weeks was awesome, she was never moody. Then she totally loses it and goes crazy.
The last time that we had spoken, the last fight, was June 9. Then she sent me a message on the 16th, my birthday, "Stop smoking pot and talk to me" I dont smoke pot, but on the 21st I sent her a message and we talked for a few hours, it was good but not as good as before.
I am willing to change for this girl, but I want her to be able to control herself as well.
Is she just immature? Am I wasting my time and energy? Am I rude? Is she rude? What is going on? I like her.... I dont know what to do about it.
I am an INTJ and I dont like talking with people, but she totally sucked me out of my shell, and I liked talking to her. I feel like if I send her a message, she will think that I am desperate and that she can behave however she wants with me. I see lots of good things in her, but she has some big flaws too.
Please help
We are both in our early 20's, me 25, her I think 22/3. We are both close to the 50% mark on all our mbti letters, as in we may be introverted but we are introverted like 60-65%. We met almost 2 months ago, maybe less. Neither of us has had a serious relationship. My parents are divorced, hers arent.
We talked to each other for 6 hours a day for 2 weeks straight (2200 messages in that time), until she was rude to me. I love talking to this girl, on top of that I think she is really sexy and I think about her a lot. I love that she has feelings, I love that she will contact me and I am not the one who has to do the chasing(although I think maybe this may have something to do with the rudeness). Our conversations are fun, but there are lots of misunderstandings. I dont think she finds herself attractive, I think she sees herself as someone who is fat, I would totally have sex with her, and just thinking about her turns me on. Talking to her turns me on too, like no other woman.
Basically I couldnt remember until reading our conversations over again. The fight started like this, I needed time to finish my homework. We talked all of saturday until midnight, as in until sunday morning. I told her I needed to finish my work and she voluntarily told me she will stop bothering me, she waited 37 hours before contacting me again, on Monday, I was on my way to school, taking an intensive summer programming class. We talked that night and things were ok, but starting to get bad.
Tuesday, The next night we had the fight. Basically I tell her I didnt like her piercing thats on her eye. She says that her guitar lovers sister had a license to do it and so she had it done. Then proceeds to tell me how she loved his guitar playing but not his personality. So I tell her how this semester I met a girl who had a husband and was flirting with me.
She asks me "was she pretty",
I say "no, but other guys in my class thought she was. I dont find make up attractive"
she says "oh youre one of those? are you" among other things
I say "I think you look better without makeup"
her "I cant go out without makeup" althought she doesnt usually wear much, or at least from her pictures it looks that way.
I honestly do think she looks way better without makeup btw.
Then we end up getting into a fight when she says the following things:
she says "well you don't seem to be that durable and I need a durable man someone who has dealt with a hard life and has a lot of self discipline" among other things
so I tell her I dont like how she is talking and being rude to me.
then she says some other stupid things, and I stop responding, at the end she says "say it to me say it say you is a very black n***ga"
keep in mind we are both whites from the suburbs.
I thought it was really inappropriate and was confused at why she would talk this way to me.
6 hours after she says that last remark, she ends up apologizing and I tell her I need a few days to calm down after what she said. She made me feel sick with her behavior.
Saturday I send her a long message telling her that I like her, I think she is special, but that I never want to experience that again. We have conversation for a few hours, some of it about kids... then I made food and told her Im going to eat it, so I just need some time to eat food, like 30 minutes. She sends me messages again, and then it gets weird all over. This time I think there is someone over there with her, and apparently he is a "ginger" and after some back and forth she tells me I take everything too seriously and that I insult her.
=============================================================================
Basically I like her. I enjoy her.
What I dont like is the emotional up and downs, she is so moody. The first few weeks was awesome, she was never moody. Then she totally loses it and goes crazy.
The last time that we had spoken, the last fight, was June 9. Then she sent me a message on the 16th, my birthday, "Stop smoking pot and talk to me" I dont smoke pot, but on the 21st I sent her a message and we talked for a few hours, it was good but not as good as before.
I am willing to change for this girl, but I want her to be able to control herself as well.
Is she just immature? Am I wasting my time and energy? Am I rude? Is she rude? What is going on? I like her.... I dont know what to do about it.
I am an INTJ and I dont like talking with people, but she totally sucked me out of my shell, and I liked talking to her. I feel like if I send her a message, she will think that I am desperate and that she can behave however she wants with me. I see lots of good things in her, but she has some big flaws too.
Please help
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