Inner Critic

[Nixie]

I call that little voice in your head that tells you what you do wrong or makes you feel mortified, your inner critic. I think it is a combination of fears and social conditioning that create the litany our inner critic speaks. I think the biggest problem we have is trying to really figure out where that message comes from and we aren't able to stop that message until we understand why we give it to ourselves.

What does your inner critic say to you? Why do you think that is? Where does it come from?

 

[MiniHands]

Nobody likes you everybody hates you
might as well go eat worms *clap clap clap
Nobody likes you .... etc.

 

[Nixie]

Nobody likes you everybody hates you
might as well go eat worms *clap clap clap
Nobody likes you .... etc.

Have you thought about why and where the message comes from? Also, is there a payoff for this message? You don't have to reach out to others and form bonds because they won't like you anyway? You don't have to face the fear of rejection and heartache?

 

[sassafras]

My inner critic often likes to channel Ygritte from A Game of Thrones:

"You know nothing, Jon Snow ..er...TDHT."

Variations on that include:

• That was stupid. Why did you do that?
• What was that supposed to do?
• You're wasting your time
• That sucked. Do it over.

I think it comes from a fear of not being good enough, not amounting to anything. Being a nothing. A nobody. A waste of space. If I'm not doing anything with my life, if I don't have opportunities to prove I know something and that I matter because of what I can contribute to society or to better myself, I'm not anything.

 

[Nixie]

My inner critic often likes to channel Ygritte from A Game of Thrones:

"You know nothing, Jon Snow ..er...TDHT."

Variations on that include:

• That was stupid. Why did you do that?
• What was that supposed to do?
• You're wasting your time
• That sucked. Do it over.

I think it comes from a fear of not being good enough, not amounting to anything. Being a nothing. A nobody. A waste of space. If I'm not doing anything with my life, if I don't have opportunities to prove I know something and that I matter because of what I can contribute to society or to better myself, I'm not anything.

Do you think there is a payoff in this thought process?

 

[sassafras]

Do you think there is a payoff in this thought process?

That is a really good question. I can't think of one other than the fact that it reminds me that by taking full responsibility for what happens, I'm in control and that I'm capable of making decisions to fix the issue. If don't know something, I take comfort in the fact that I can find out. If I can't do something, I can take comfort in the fact that if I plug away at it long enough, I will eventually learn. If I realize I did something wrong, I can change it.

Essentially, it boils down to control, because my inner critic is always oscillating between 'You should know better' to 'You don't know anything' (the latter being the kick in the butt to find out what I'm missing)

Or at least, that's my reasoning.

 

[#@&5&49]

Right now I have four words for my inner critic - shut the fuck up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

 

[Nixie]

Right now I have four words for my inner critic - shut the fuck up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Don't you think your inner critic speaks for a reason? Or is it constant?

 

[#@&5&49]

After determining the root and going through the pain that comes with that, my inner critic is just a bad habit to quit like smoking cigarettes. I'm making a conscious effort to replace it with positivity.

 

[Nixie]

I feel that the inner critic is just one facet of our inner voice though. We just take for granted the one that tells us all the good stuff. You don't believe your inner critic serves a purpose?

Side note: Just using the eyes avatar makes my posts more intense or is that just me? Gawd, don't tell me I have to start using smileys or monkeys....

 

[#@&5&49]

In the past it was a means to teach me. But I have found that it's just as easy to tell myself something positive about myself as it is to tell myself something negative about myself. I think my "inner critic" is developing a new persona - maybe it's "inner objectivity" and that's a title that comes with some emotional scars.

 

[Vict]

You're waiting too long.
You're letting them waste your time.
If you don't keep moving you will die.

Probably comes from fear of commitment or some such. A developing preference for the far easier cycle of wanting it, working for it, getting it, and choosing a new mountain to climb.

 

[acd]

Mine tells me I'm awkward and people think I'm strange.

That's probably because I'm quiet and aloof and prefer to remain that way, rather than expend the energy to be bubbly and cheerful all the time.
I do try to be bubbly and cheerful at work, though. Just not at social gatherings where I could really care less, and am mostly only going because my boyfriend has asked me to.
Maybe other people don't think I'm awkward and strange. No one has ever told me so. I'm not really sure where it comes from. I have to think more about it.

 

[the]

Mine tells me I'm awkward and people think I'm strange.

That's probably because I'm quiet and aloof and prefer to remain that way, rather than expend the energy to be bubbly and cheerful all the time.
I do try to be bubbly and cheerful at work, though. Just not at social gatherings where I could really care less, and am mostly only going because my boyfriend has asked me to.
Maybe other people don't think I'm awkward and strange. No one has ever told me so. I'm not really sure where it comes from. I have to think more about it.

You are the one who thinks you are awkward and strange. Everyone else thinks you are within the normal range. Matt and Stan are the ones everybody thinks are strange.

 

[Stu]

My inner critic is telling me to get up and scrub the cooler floor






uberrogo

 

[Nixie]

You're waiting too long.
You're letting them waste your time.
If you don't keep moving you will die.

Probably comes from fear of commitment or some such. A developing preference for the far easier cycle of wanting it, working for it, getting it, and choosing a new mountain to climb.

So do you think there is a payoff for pushing yourself to not commit? Not gettting hurt or disappointed?

 

[Nixie]

My inner critic is telling me to get up and scrub the cooler floor

I often get the sense that you have a strong inner critic.

 

[Nixie]

In the past it was a means to teach me. But I have found that it's just as easy to tell myself something positive about myself as it is to tell myself something negative about myself. I think my "inner critic" is developing a new persona - maybe it's "inner objectivity" and that's a title that comes with some emotional scars.

I thought this was very profound. Indeed. Facing your inner critic is hard---we think other's are cruel--they got nothing on the stuff we lie to ourselves about. I have found that my current journey involves finding that "inner objectivity"--I'm afraid I'm still rather destructive with the whole process though.

 

[Vict]

So do you think there is a payoff for pushing yourself to not commit? Not getting hurt or disappointed?

Choosing not to do something seldom yields rewards. In fact, the risk of being happy or hurt is one of the best things about humanity. It's a conscious decision to take that risk or shirk it.

But I'm slow on the uptake when it comes to emotional well-being. I'll just enjoy my hedonism for now.

 

[Nixie]

Choosing not to do something seldom yields rewards.

I dunno. Often I think this is a successful strategy but usually only in interpersonal situations. Choosing not to say or do something can be a rewarding choice.