INFJ's the ENFP's shadow side? | INFJ Forum

INFJ's the ENFP's shadow side?

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GerdiVR

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Mar 15, 2009
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I'm an ENFP 8w9. After certain dramatic experiences lately...I've come to almost magically integrate what seems to be Ni and Fe into my experience. I've integrated a lot of experiences in my life with the aid of Ni...and experienced a form of non-dual knowing I have never experienced before. I've also come to use Te healthily for the first time in my life in the form of creativeness.

So in essence I'm starting to want to live the paradox, so to speak, as a way of committing fully to self-development. The MBTI has proved itself to me as a reliable language as a way to integrating myself. I'm even starting to understand INFJ's fascination with mysticism, symbology, and even religion.

I'm looking for pointers in order to be able to see the validity in NiFeTiSe. I'm wondering what are INFJ's usual gripes when dealing with ENFPs. (?)

Also, is there any good guide to integrate your shadow side, out there, that you guys know of?
 
No. ESTJ is the ENFP shadow side.
 
usual gripes.
My personal ones are they are sometimes too jumpy.
Hard to pinpoint, hard to stay, harder to keep. Sometimes it made like they asked too much of this and that.
The worst ones employ emotional blackmail and victim mentality. Looking for ways for which to claim other people had done to hurt her.
Sometimes they looked like hiding their annoyances behind bubbly facades.

And as per integrating your shadow side, you HAVE to know your shadow side first.
 
InvisibleJim said:
No. ESTJ is the ENFP shadow side.
Click to expand...

TeSi are the underdeveloped ENFP functions that are conscious. I'm talking about the unconscious funtions NiFeTiSE.

Trifoilum said:
usual gripes.
My personal ones are they are sometimes too jumpy.
Hard to pinpoint, hard to stay, harder to keep. Sometimes it made like they asked too much of this and that.
The worst ones employ emotional blackmail and victim mentality. Looking for ways for which to claim other people had done to hurt her.
Sometimes they looked like hiding their annoyances behind bubbly facades.

And as per integrating your shadow side, you HAVE to know your shadow side first.
Click to expand...

How would you one about doing something like that in your opinion?
 
Sytpg said:
TeSi are the underdeveloped ENFP functions that are conscious. I'm talking about the unconscious funtions NiFeTiSE.
Click to expand...

You are assuming that 'shadow functions' are anything more than the tails to the coins you flip heads for every time.

The only one you'll ever get value from is the demonstrative.

You exude the role without thinking you do.
 
InvisibleJim said:
You are assuming that 'shadow functions' are anything more than the tails to the coins you flip heads for every time.

The only one you'll ever get value from is the demonstrative.

You exude the role without thinking you do.
Click to expand...

An ENFP will act in a TeSi when stressed throughout life, yes. I've been aware of this fact in myself ever since I first explored MBTI.

But these last few days have been the first time I've been aware of NiFe usage in my life.
 
Sytpg said:
An ENFP will act in a TeSi when stressed throughout life, yes. I've been aware of this fact in myself ever since I first explored MBTI.

But these last few days have been the first time I've been aware of NiFe usage in my life.
Click to expand...

Yes, you will always do these as a natural consequence of being you. You will also embody Se without realising you do and you will never achieve Ti, infact the more you try to use it the more you will hate yourself for it. Nothing more or less. Integration will not occur any more or less if one undertakes action A, action B or no change.
 
InvisibleJim said:
Yes, you will always do these as a natural consequence of being you. You will also embody Se without realising you do and you will never achieve Ti, infact the more you try to use it the more you will hate yourself for it. Nothing more or less. Integration will not occur any more or less if one undertakes action A, action B or no change.
Click to expand...

This according to MBTI theory, or is your personal opinion?

Either way, I don't agree. I think the more one faces one's fears and anxiety the more conscious one of the potential of one's shadow functions. I believe in self-actualization and I've noticed degrees of of self-actualization in myself. I will say that extreme usage of one's preferred functions (in my case NeFi) and then stumbling on difficulties in need of acceptance on our part might be an "easier" way to self-actualize than to consciously try to improve on shadow functions...but still...
 
Sytpg said:
This according to MBTI theory, or is your personal opinion?

Either way, I don't agree. I think the more one faces one's fears and anxiety the more conscious one of the potential of one's shadow functions. I believe in self-actualization and I've noticed degrees of of self-actualization in myself. I will say that extreme usage of one's preferred functions (in my case NeFi) and then stumbling on difficulties in need of acceptance on our part might be an "easier" way to self-actualize than to consciously try to improve on shadow functions...but still...
Click to expand...

Theory.
 
When I used to post in the Dolphin Cove (another INFJ forum) I learned about "The Grip"--it means when an INFJ becomes stressed out we become ESTP's. In my experience, yes, I become a very bad version of an SP when I'm stressed.

When we are young, we hone the skills we are good at. When we are old, we work on the things we suck at. It's all part of becoming a better balanced person. So yes, it is very worth your while to explore the skills and values of those different from you, whether they are INFJ or otherwise.
 
o_q said:
obviously you don't understand the theory behind shadow types if you're going to get it wrong.
Click to expand...

Ne-Fi -> Te-Si

Take your Beebe and stick it in favour of observable pragmatic socionics; aka go learn more.

Giggity Giggity.
 
o_q said:
you're an idiot.
Ni -> Ne
Fe -> Fi
Ti -> Te
Se ->Si
Click to expand...

Yes, this is Beebe. A theory based upon someone being in a dream talking to a Chinese washer woman. Clearly it is 100% obvious that this should be taken as Serious Business.
 
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