(INFJs & Harmony) Really?

Being directed to the definition of harmony it has some connection with a sense of peace or calm.

I feel a sense of calm and peace when I interact with others in a way that respects and honors their expression and still respects and honors my own. My own expression would not be one desiring disturbance or drama. I have engaged with those who seem to have that desire as an elemental part of their expression and if that is the case for you, as your description seems to indicate, then yes, I suspect harmonious interactions would be something you would value less. In meeting your need to poke or prod someone on to something "bigger" you may be disrupting another person's sense of peace.

I do value harmony highly, far more highly than a desire to use disturbance to push people toward something viewed as a greater end. I would more likely want to gently encourage someone toward consideration of something different in a way I sense they would feel comfortable with. I hold both approaches in value and think there is a place in the world for both, but I would most consistently choose the more harmonious approach.

 

Harmony dpesn't always mean consensus. Sometimes it means crushing the will of your opponents.

 

I also sensed in sedna's expression a lack of value for a superficial harmony where people are "playing nice", but not really feeling very nice underneath it all, but I did not sense their described preferred interaction as harmonious. I think their described style can be an efficacious one, but not easily harmonious.

If sedna has a need for disrupting peace and calm to push someone through discomfort to a new place, then I don't think interactions could easily be harmonious in that environment. In order to meet another person's need for calm and peace, they'd have to stifle their own need to shake things up, and if they meet their need to shake things up, someone else would have their need for peace and calm disturbed. It makes sense to me that they would not have a high value for harmonious relationship if they do have a high value for moving people to new places through discomfort.

 

Absolutely. The thing is, I personally do not feel a I've been shaved down and buffed for smoothness in allowing others their authentic expression and honoring my own. My own authentic expression is one that values the comfortable co-existence of varying perspectives and I do not often feel the desire to move on the perspectives of others, so I can honestly stand in comfort (calm and peace) with those that differ from me and I hope (strive) to create an environment with my actions where others feel equally comfortable standing near me in their differing perspective.

 

Conflict is very distressing for me. When there is a big argument I instinctively try to help work it out and if that doesn't work I have to leave the room lest the negative vibes in the room drive me over the edge emotionally (a big aspect of my Aspergers is sensory sensitivity and sensitivity to the emotional "vibes" of the environment seems to a part of that).

There are few things I dislike more then perfectly reasonable people demonizing each other over real or imagined differences of opinion rather than working together on things they do agree with.

I'll fully admit to being one of those "can't we all just get along???" kind of people.

 

Let me define what I mean when I speak of harmony. The dictionary definition is:

1. Agreement in feeling or opinion; accord: live in harmony.
2. A pleasing combination of elements in a whole: color harmony; the order and harmony of the universe. See synonyms at proportion.
3. Music.
1. The study of the structure, progression, and relation of chords.
2. Simultaneous combination of notes in a chord.
3. The structure of a work or passage as considered from the point of view of its chordal characteristics and relationships.
4. A combination of sounds considered pleasing to the ear.
4. A collation of parallel passages, especially from the Gospels, with a commentary demonstrating their consonance and explaining their discrepancies.

Because it suits my nature to exist and allow others to exist as they are, I feel my needs are met most of the time by simply experiencing and allowing others to experience.

That is not the case with everyone, nor do I think the world would be a better place if it were so. I think there is great benefit to the world in people acting on their natural instincts to move things forward, to change or alter the course of things. If this is one's nature, unless they happen to be standing with someone in total agreement with them, then harmony (or the comfort of mutually met needs as we seem to be discussing it) would be difficult to achieve.

I sensed that sedna (and perhaps satya) are people who move things. Who's nature is one where they are prompted to create a little discomfort in people to move them to new places. Harmony would not come easily in those situations, if possible at all. I agree that if that is one's nature then either the person who strives to move things would have to stifle that nature and would not likely feel in great harmony with their environment, or they would be creating disharmony in their environment by honoring their nature to disrupt things.

In a bigger picture sense, I do believe there simply is harmony. I believe there is an order to all the different ways people are and even if a smaller environment seems disharmonious, taken out to a wider view there is a greater order and harmony to it all. That is why I feel at peace (even if I feel some discomfort when pushed) with a nature that is different than my own. I believe it serves a purpose that I do not serve in the greater picture of humanity. I don't know this is so, but it is a big picture that gives me comfort and peace to imagine is so anyway.

 

When I think of harmony I think of a choir. When I sit and listen to a choir I feel harmonious lol. All voices are different and yet blending perfectly causing harmony.
In our day to day life I think pride and ego are the main blockades to harmony.

 

:nod:

 

Harmony is what you make it. A balance between the good and bad, Yin and Yang, or maybe just that one can deal with the current situation without it being draining.

If your life is reletivly level, your in harmony, balance, whatever you want to call it. Harmony doesn't allways mean "everyone cuddles and hugs and kisses and loves everone else cuitness to the max extream!" *barf*

I don't know, my two cents.