INFJs appear? | INFJ Forum

INFJs appear?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by soulseeker, Sep 28, 2009.

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  1. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    do INFJs appear socially awkward, shy, etc. etc..

    i've noticed that I don't look really kind and gentle and generous and all when i'm around people. what i feel inside is totally different from what appears outside.

    i know i appear distant, almost angry and mad everyday. and i appear like an energetic extrovert person.

    are you like this!?!?... like what people see and what you appear to be is totally different from who you really are?
     
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  2. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I can be socially awkward, and I do appear shy. I do feel different inside from how others see me outside. Most actually have no idea about all the emotional things that I go through, and most would say that I'm a confident and chill person.

    There are other things too. It is complicated.
     
  3. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    People probably see mostly arrogance. They see that I don't talk to them freely and they also can't see a point of me that I'm not confident with which equals arrogance. But really I'm just pretty shy of new people (which isn't good when a lot of people want instant gratification for their socialising efforts and to them you seem to have no reason not to jump straight in) and so I sit back and analyse, think and look unintentionally intimidating. It's true I am very confident within myself but I'm not confident with people (in terms of getting hurt) and so people think I'm not talking to them because I think I'm better than them when I may even be genuinely interested in them. Damn my thinking face!!! Even people close to me can't always read through it. I caught my friend eyeing me off with a worried/slighty intimidated look on her face just a couple of weeks ago... I was having some extremely deep thoughts that day plus I was exhausted which would have made it worse.
     
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  4. Raccoon Love

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    Yes, as an INFJ I am very socially awkward, shy, avoidant, withdrawn etc.. I do like to help people and try to be kind but people take advantage of this. Other times I'm just seem as awkward. People just think I'm weird and smart...which isolates me from the world which I think has contributed to my shyness. I appear to be cold on the outside..perhaps why I don't have any friends at the moment. I also tend to be focused in my imagination, my feelings etc.. Despite the fact that I find a lot of people to be annoying, do not have the best social skills and needs so much time to recharge, I deeply care for people though. I want to love, be loved, help society, find someone who truly cares for me, who is loyal to me as I am to that person. I seek for a long stable relationship basically. So I think most INFJ's are not people haters, but we are picky, hard to get to know, and need time by ourselves.
     
    #4 Raccoon Love, Sep 28, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2009
  5. OP
    soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    haha i think nobody knows an INFJ except an INFJ ahahahahaha

    i appear arrogant too and super confident, frank, judgemental ... i don't seem to be like a gentle gentle girl who cries a lot, thinks a lot, ponders a lot when in fact i really do.

    once, we had an activity then we were supposed to describe one another in class. and one of my group mates described me as the water in her water jug. because... her water jug is almost empty.. which symbolizes SHALLOWNESS FOR HER... and so she described me as a shallow person......

    wow.. how looks and expressions can totally deceive a person... ahahahhaha
     
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  6. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    That's ok. Someone tried to put on an immitation of me in a game and couldn't think of anything to do and so proceeded to act very inconsistantly strange. Nobody guessed it thank goodness but it's just interesting to see how other people see me and what they will do when asked to do a portrayal, though nobody's tried one since.
     
  7. transcendentalethos

    transcendentalethos Community Member

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    lol ... these threads are getting so redundant.
     
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  8. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    Ugh... a good example of this happened with me today.

    I got placed in a group of people who I didn't know and none of whom knew the text we were studying in English (all three of them were transfer students) and I was supposed to organise the whole thing and read back what we got at the end. I ended up just kind of saying "Well, um, I guess you could say this..." and they all kept looking at me like either I wasn't being helpful or I was mad =.= I then had to make up pretty much everything on the spare of the moment.

    But yeah, I usually get told that I appear intense and my sister said I scare people by being too quiet or too serious-looking. I only seem to relax when I'm with my friends or my family. Otherwise I tend to look scared or annoyed, until someone talks to me, in which case I try my best to smile but...

    Ah, it's fun to have a contrasting face.
     
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  9. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    Yes, I am just like you! I look angry, intimidating, and hateful. When inside I am feeling so awkward that I just want to run away. I want to be included, but I cant find a common ground to enter the conversation on. So I stand there awkwardly waiting for some one to notice me. After a few minutes of opening up to the group I to become like an energetic extrovert, all the while moderating my thoughts and words as not to say something awkward...And all the while no one is aware that I am really super sensitive, caring and mild.

    I think its our defense mechanism...really
     
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    #9 Entyqua, Sep 29, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2009
  10. markus

    markus Newbie

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    I can put up a good social front when necessary... but generally I have this distant, business oriented appearance. I'm weirding me out how precisely the INFJ qualities describe me.
     
  11. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    I think I scare people when I don't talk. Because I don't talk, people immediately assume I'm angry or annoyed or that I'm gonna explode. My new house mate talks CONSTANTLY. If I go quiet he'll pester me to talk. To new people, they think something's wrong, I hear "Are you alright? You're really quiet," all the time.
     
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  12. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I thought this was going to be about INFJs being pokemon and "an INFJ appears"
     
  13. midnightmelody

    midnightmelody nagging for truth

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    You thought wrong, Shai.


    I second the above comments.

    We're too vulnerable to present our contemplative emotional side.
     
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  14. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I appear socially awkward, and apparently spacey and whatnot. I also appear more extroverted to people who see me with my friends, and more thinking when I'm alone.
     
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  15. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    In addition to the above traits...

    Ni dominant people don't show a whole lot of themselves on the surface. This is also true of INTJs. We're both really difficult people to read. Even the NFPs and NTPs who are so used to being able to see through people can't read us. It often amuses me how the NTPs and NFPs I meet are perplexed by me when they meet me, and I'm even more amused when I say or do something that is outside the paradigm they decided applied to me. The expression on their faces remind me of that noise in a movie when a needle is yanked off of a record.
     
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  16. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    Lol. I get that a lot. And it annoys the hell out of me.

    I've been told that I look angry, worried, bored, or lost in thought, when in reality I'm not. I know that I don't look very 'approachable' either. A friend once told me that when we first met, he got the impression that I really didn't like him. That wasn't the case at all, I'm just guarded in social situations, which gives off the wrong vibe..
     
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  17. sassafras

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    Yeah, I don't really open up to people. I try to be more easygoing, I'll crack a joke every once in a while, but I'm not naturally a gregarious person.

    And yeah, arrogant, detatched, aloof, snobby, etc. are among some of the ways people have described me. And most of the time, I haven't even spoken all of two words to them.

    Oh well.
     
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  18. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Speaking of naturally gregarious people, I used to come off as a leader-type person. I think that's melted away some, though. I'm not nearly as charismatic as I come off when I put on my politician face.

    I think I know exactly what you're talking about :D
     
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  19. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Yeah, yeah, OP, all INFJs are like this... (oh my, how I love them...) They either appear angry (the true INFJ face - when you are just thinking deeply) ... or they appear extremely lively (the ESTP shadow face of energy, joy and confidence) -> I adore both of your faces, because I can read them: I can see the deep (highly concerned) thinking behind the angry face, and I can see the hidden INFJ insecurity behind the ESTP shadow (well, it's just a shadow, right). So they do not bother me. In fact, I enjoy to just be around INFJs so much... I mean in real life.

    I think only certain superficial people are not able to see your gentle and kind nature, behind the face (apparently INJs are not very good at controlling their faces, so they either seem offended/mad, or just keep some artificial mysterious smile there) - especially when you talk. Your words are never wasted, and raise the spirit in other human beings around you with unmatchable sincere tenderness and fine wit.
     
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  20. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    Glomp!
     
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