Is it normal for an Infj to not be compatible with an Infp? There is a specific person I know who I have typed to be an Infp. One minute she is cheerful anc caring, but the next she is screaming about how no one appreciates her. People do what she wants all the time, yet she complains that no one cares about her desires. She gets mad when reprimanded for failing to fulfill an obligation, and at times she is horribly insulting, calling me overly passive, weak, parasitic, convictionless, and insisting that I only talk to her when I want something. There is no telling her that something is different from the way she believes it to be. It's important that we get along, and I am in no way saying I don't care for her. I have found it most effective to set firm boundaries, and not to fully depend on her to follow through. Have I typed her correctly? Is this a normal Infj Infp relationship?
Infjs and Infps
- Thread starter grapefruit
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And of course her being a spoiled brat makes ALL infps spoiled brats... lol..
If you have to ask if it is a normal relationship.. think a little harder for yourself.
And don't be so quick to generalize people based on one person you know..
If you have to ask if it is a normal relationship.. think a little harder for yourself.
And don't be so quick to generalize people based on one person you know..
That's what I was partly wondering. I'm not saying Infps are bad people, but their description does specify that they have problems with commitment and responsibility, and that they are very laid back. For some people it might be fine. I'm the sort of person that doesn't get annoyed by much, but the things that annoy me really annoy me. Lack of follow through is one of those things. By shirking your commitments to a person, you are showing with your actions that he/she is of little importance to you. This person just says things, and then pretends a conflict didn't happen. She sees me as overly emotional and indirect, and I see her as either overly controlling, relaxed, or stressed. I have asked others who know both of us whether it is my imagination, and they say it isn't. However, she can't find out that I have told anyone about it because she will say that I make it all up, and that I am so ungrateful because all I do is make her look bad to obtain pity. That isn't true. Pity is the last thing I want, and I'm not trying to make her look bad. I just want to know if my Infj traits cause her to act this way toward me since she has friends and does a good job at getting along with others. Are these the traits of an Infp, or an unhealthy person of a different type?
She may have some kind of underlying issue... Be careful and distant yourself before she hurts you anymore...
Typically, I think I get along with INFPs. But I haven't met very many, and apparently I may be one myself (lol?).
Do insecure Infjs act like that? People say I'm too self conscious, which might be a different way of saying that I lack security, but I don't do that. I feel really embarrassed when I make people mad, and if I were upset, I would always plan what I was going to say.
Some of the things she said to you are pretty damaging. You sound like a reasonable person. It might be best to move on.
Which descriptions say they have issues with commitment and responsibility?
I have never read that.
What you describe aren't traits exclusive to any one type.
They sound like personal issues and communication issues.
The only problem with the commitment I have is that I commit too much in the modern world where such things are as constant as stock market fluctuations. I think INFPs have many faces.
Have to agree with personal issues and communication problems.
I have INFJ friends and they seem to like INFPs they became friends with. . But it doesn't mean that it's like this all the time. People are so complicated and different, regardless of the type.
People act differently sometimes. No one can really define personality. Sometimes INFJs can act like another personality type like and ENTP for example. We're not always our type all the time, just mostly 
One's type is not responsible for everything - we're all human, after all, and more or less operate the same psychologically (on basic levels, at least).
The lass you describe sounds more insecure and emotionally unformed than anything else. Just a guess on my part but, perhaps she feels powerless & trapped by something(s), doesn't know how to fight it, hence the anger and self-validating perspective. Anger is rarely about the immediate object, I've found. Of course, I could be completely wrong ^.^
In any event, know when to detach yourself and move on. Not all seeds planted bloom; the ones that fail tell us what to do differently next planting season.
Best of luck, I sympathize
The lass you describe sounds more insecure and emotionally unformed than anything else. Just a guess on my part but, perhaps she feels powerless & trapped by something(s), doesn't know how to fight it, hence the anger and self-validating perspective. Anger is rarely about the immediate object, I've found. Of course, I could be completely wrong ^.^
In any event, know when to detach yourself and move on. Not all seeds planted bloom; the ones that fail tell us what to do differently next planting season.
Best of luck, I sympathize
Thank you for the input. For now, I will employ my newly found strategy of setting firm boundaries because the person seems to be responding positively to them. I'm not really the type who is comfortable doing this, but fake it until you make it right?
Where did you read this description? As an INFP, I can tell you that this is not altogether accurate. I personally, have no problem with commitment and responsibility, in fact, I take my responsibilities very seriously and I am actually fairly high strung. I don't think anyone who knows me personally would ever describe me as "laid back" and if I commit to something, I feel I have an obligation to follow through. I also had a sibling who was also an INFP and he could be described the same way, very responsible and somewhat high strung. In fact, the vast majority of INFPs I have known are far more concerned with the welfare of others over their own and prefer not to burden others with their issues. The way you describe this person, I am inclined to believe that you have either mistyped her or she was raised in a way to which she feels that the world revolves around her, which would have nothing to do with her MBTI type.
I find most INFPs to be very committed, and responsible. I haven't known any who have directed anger in the way you are describing toward me, or anyone around them, for that matter. An INFP 9 will be very laid back until backed into a corner, but it doesn't sound like you are doing this. They dislike being controlled, but they also respect others for their differences, and are very understanding and patient, in my opinion. Some need space, and others don't. I think INFJ/INFP relationships can be very positive, and fulfilling, but it is entirely dependent on the individuals involved. I wouldn't put up with the nonsense you are describing.
The INFP I dated was very laid-back, liked peace and quiet, and seemed to have an intuitive connection with me. Even over the phone or when we texting each other, he could perceive when I was upset. No matter that I gave no outward signs of my sadness or upset, he picked up on it and let me know he knew. I perceived his unspoken emotions just as well without a word being said. We could practically finish one another's sentences, like we were in tune on a level beyond surface compatibility.
While I would not date him again because of other issues, I would welcome that kind of connection again.
Right now, I am vividly remembering being at his apartment one evening and looking under all the furniture, scrambling to find two hamsters that had escaped from their cage!
This INFP of whom I speak will complain to anyone and everyone about his screaming, bossy,foul-mouthed, relentless, critical, domineering girlfriend and mother of his kids, yet he will not leave her no matter how badly she treats him.