[INFJ] - infjs and influencing people or manipulation | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] infjs and influencing people or manipulation

chad

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Feb 4, 2015
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ok so iv read that enfjs and infjs can be very manipulative out of all the types have the deepest insight into people.ok in terms of manipulation people would say that the estp is the best but i dont think the the case i think that the enfj or infj would be the best its only they dont manipulate people but rather use there powers for good,since theres no enfj forum on the net iv come here since you both are practically the same,i have a few questions also entjs can be very manipulative but i think enfjs/infjs are actualy the best
anyways heres my questions
1) how good do you guys think you are at it
2)if you hadd to influence someone to do something bad like eg steal something big from a shop how would you do it?like you have enough time to be friend the person and all but how would you do it
3) and generaly how would you persquade someone to do somethign they wouldnt normaly do?
also,what mbti type do you think would be the best at manipulation
iv seen my entj father influence people and i mean....realy dam good,it almost seems supernatural.....but thats to do with his job so and iv never got to see enfjs or infjs actualy need to influence someone,but anyways i would still think the enfj is better than the entj why?,because they have fe wich has to do with reading people and they have a higher eq so id even say that they would be way higher
so as infjs what do you think,how do you read people influence them ect...if you had to influence someone eg if some guy wanted to take over your job how would you influence your boss to stay away from them?
 
1) Since you both are practically the same
- I don’t think ENFJs and INFJs are practically the same.

2) How good do you guys think you are at [manipulation]?
- Not good, nor do I want to be. My speaking tone is, “That is the truth. I don’t care if you believe me.”
I absolutely hate salespeople — whether they are selling ideas or products - and would never try to emulate that, nor would I ever try to ‘use’ people.

3) If you had to influence someone to do something bad like steal something big from a shop how would you do it?
- I would not.
I would not steal, nor would I 'use' another person to do my dirty work. (If you need to do something terrible, you should do it yourself.)

4) Generally how would you persuade someone to do something they wouldn’t normally do?
- Again, I would not. People should be true to themselves (unless that involves hurting others).

5) What MBTI type do you think would be the best at manipulation?

- ESFPs are generally charming and enchanting people, so they are very good at persuading others.
- I know an ENTJ who can charm the socks off almost anyone, but she seems unaware that this is a gift she has that others lack. (We’ve discussed it.)
- I know some manipulative people, but I don't know their MBTI and I try to stay away from them.

6) So, as INFJs what do you think, how do you read people influence them, etc...
- I prefer to read people to understand how they tick, not for my own uses. If they want advice from me, I will give it in an honest and sincere way that will contribute positively to their lives, even if it does not benefit me in any way.
I have influenced people to change their lives by being an example of what they want to personally achieve, but I'm not pushy, or manipulative.

7) If you had to influence someone eg if some guy wanted to take over your job how would you influence your boss to stay away from them?
- I believe one should be professional, respectful and have integrity at work. If something ugly arises, it should be addressed in a straightforward manner and solved directly, honestly and with integrity. I once had a situation like this, and my boss believed me because I am not a manipulative person, and don’t usually badmouth my peers.
 
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My brother is an ENFJ. I'm trying to think of an instance where I've seen him be manipulative or when he has manipulated me. When we were kids, he would just pummel me into submission. He is very diplomatic and knows how to word unpleasant things without pissing people off. I always go to him for advice on that sort of thing. I don't see him as manipulative.

I had an ENFJ roommate years ago. We easily became best buds. Then she got in a car accident and wore a neck brace for 6 months and went on medical leave at her job, too. I paid her share of most of the bills as a result. THEN one day I come home and she is in the living room with another friend trying to teach her how to twerk! The neck brace was off. When I confronted her, she said nothing. The next day after I confronted her, all her stuff was gone and she moved out. She played the long con on that for months. She was crazy and obviously, she wasn't my friend at any point. There's a lot of variation, basically!
 
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I think INFJ's have a natural tool kit that allows them to be fairly apt at influencing others, even to the point of manipulation.

For moral reason's I wouldn't manipulate another intentionally, but who knows what I do unintentionally in subtle ways.

However if necessary I do tend to adjust the way in which I am speaking, and the manner in which I present a given argument or decision that needs to be made, so that it fits as perfectly as possible the given audience to whom I'm speaking, and thus ensures harmony and increases the odds of agreement or acceptance of the reasonability of my POV. For example, if I'm speaking to my INTJ friend, I make use of key words such as "fact", "logic", "rational", and appeal to studies or statistics I've read and other empirical evidence. If I'm speaking to my ENFP friend, and try to persuade him to do something that he doesn't want to do if he's in a lazy mood (such as going for a stroll through the forest), I'll say: "Let's go on an adventure into the enchanted woods... we might find a fairy or a gnome" etc., and it usually works haha.

This might be manipulation of some kind, but an acceptable kind in my view, yet perhaps there is a better term to describe this, since the definition bellow emphasises manipulation is a form of exploitation - unfair influencing.

Manipulation: to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.

Such as emotional manipulation, which is really a form of emotional abuse - which I'm sure many children have experienced such as from a parent who makes their young child feel guilty based on drawing a comparison between what they as a parent do for them, and what they as a kid don't do; and which many spouses may experience from a partner who draws them into a cycle of guilt-tripping them and love-bombing them in romantic sensationalism, back and forth, in order to maintain a sense of power and control over them - especially over the affections of their SO.
 
I have a short anecdote. One day in freshman Algebra (high school), I was more bored than normal and decided I wanted a distraction. I raised my hand, the teacher called my name, and I asked if she had played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (which had just been released a few weeks prior). All of a sudden the class was abuzz with discussion over the best car or mission. It was about 15-20 minutes before she managed to get the class back on the topic of algebra.

People love to talk, but sometimes I think asking questions can be more fun.

Sorry, Mrs(?)(Forgot her name :/)
 
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I think INFJ's have a natural tool kit that allows them to be fairly apt at influencing others, even to the point of manipulation.

For moral reason's I wouldn't manipulate another intentionally, but who knows what I do unintentionally in subtle ways.

However if necessary I do tend to adjust the way in which I am speaking, and the manner in which I present a given argument or decision that needs to be made, so that it fits as perfectly as possible the given audience to whom I'm speaking, and thus ensures harmony and increases the odds of agreement or acceptance of the reasonability of my POV. For example, if I'm speaking to my INTJ friend, I make use of key words such as "fact", "logic", "rational", and appeal to studies or statistics I've read and other empirical evidence. If I'm speaking to my ENFP friend, and try to persuade him to do something that he doesn't want to do if he's in a lazy mood (such as going for a stroll through the forest), I'll say: "Let's go on an adventure into the enchanted woods... we might find a fairy or a gnome" etc., and it usually works haha.

This might be manipulation of some kind, but an acceptable kind in my view, yet perhaps there is a better term to describe this, since the definition bellow emphasises manipulation is a form of exploitation - unfair influencing.



Such as emotional manipulation, which is really a form of emotional abuse - which I'm sure many children have experienced such as from a parent who makes their young child feel guilty based on drawing a comparison between what they as a parent do for them, and what they as a kid don't do; and which many spouses may experience from a partner who draws them into a cycle of guilt-tripping them and love-bombing them in romantic sensationalism, back and forth, in order to maintain a sense of power and control over them - especially over the affections of their SO.
nice nice and nice i love this description
 
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First of all, I am not particularly proud of it, nor do I think I would be good at it with every person, but I managed to manipulate someone into persuing a strategy in LOTR Risk that was more useful to me than to him. It would have cost him the game, and for once I wouldn't have come in last place, but when he saw his disadvantage, he stopped the game. He is very childish if you ask me. Wouldn't even admit that this was the reason.

But really, it was just a game! It was a bit boring, to be honest. It's low to use such means. If he hadn't been so susceptible, I probably wouldn't even have done it.
 
I have found many times in social situations, where there can sometimes be a lull in conversation, or a lack of people jelling,- I have often been able to say something that has got everyone talking and broken the ice. Nice, I love it when that happens,
 
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