Since the fits of rage thread was sputtering along nicely, I thought I'd post a sort of opposite one. So, has anyone else experienced fits of guilt? I seem to be having them lately.
So... I was raised Catholic. I've got more than a little guilt, I'd say....
I wouldn't be the person I am today... if there weren't for the tons of guilt that shaped me from my first breathing moments.
Baby Moxie: "Oh, Mom, I can't believe I hurt you so much coming out of you like that! Oh, no! Dang, I should have been even more premature!! I feel so terrible!" *sniff, sniff*
I'm good at making fun of my guilt complex. But yes, it's true, and it always works on me - once.
So, has anyone else experienced fits of guilt?
...So minor that when I actually do address them with those who I've wronged, 98% of the time the answer I get back is "You did that? I had completely forgotten."
Go figure.![]()
...daily?
I tend to ascribe it to the fact that INFJs can see the ideal in nearly any situation. Then being so focused on growth, we aim that spotlight towards ourselves (being introverted and all), and everywhere we've failed to meet said ideal is illuminated like tinsel under a flashlight in a dark room.
That said, most of the things I guilt about tend to be incredibly minor. So minor that when I actually do address them with those who I've wronged, 98% of the time the answer I get back is "You did that? I had completely forgotten."
Go figure.![]()
So true.Oh my goodness, yeah! Otherwise, I'd develop such a burning resentment towards that person. Bad relationships are not worth pursuing. :mfly:![]()
So... I was raised Catholic. I've got more than a little guilt, I'd say. I know joking about Catholics and guilt is way beyond cliche at this point, but for me the cliche is absolutely accurate. I'm an INFJ with an under-developed F, which has caused me, mostly in the past, to be emotionally impotent in my relationships. I attribute this character flaw to never having to "feel" my way through situations during my formative years because right and wrong was always dictated to me with the threat of eternal damnation...
I was raised Catholic, too, but somehow avoided the whole guilt thing. In spite of this, I used to have some bouts of guilt here and there, but not so much now. Not sure why. Maybe I got so old that I saw some futility in the exercise of guilt-riddenness....like it was really all about me? I know realizing that the meaning of life was about connection...not performance....helped a lot, too.
I came to see my journey to God in a very different way. Over time I had adjusted my lifestyle/decisions/longings to be more harmonious with the Divine Vision, but I found that, rather then me actually getting closer to God, that instead something very strange was happening. The closer I got, the more I began to see with clarity the object of my quest. I saw that the entire horizon was opening up and the vastness of the cosmos...of God...of Love...could be more readily seen. The vista was truly immense, mind-numbing, spectacular!!! That changed all my efforts, simply because I perceived everything differently. From then on I realized it was only about connection to this wondrous reality, not "getting every behavior right." There was no way I was going to actually, somehow, attain what I was beholding before me....in this case my only response could be nothing but humility and gratitude and deep connection. "I" was loved, that was it...and that was everything.
It seems to me that guilt has a rightful place....the interior equivalent to taking our hand out of a flame because it hurts us. However, when it becomes a debilitating barrier (shame) then we probably need to see reality with more clarity. This generally requires a journey...most of us don't get this all at once, only because it is not merely an idea....it is a transformation.