INFJ - Trouble finding a purpose/cause | INFJ Forum

INFJ - Trouble finding a purpose/cause

Fatch

Fatch

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Jan 2, 2014
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I want to know from other INFJs if they also have trouble finding a cause to dedicate their time to?

For me its almost as if you can't make up your mind about anything or that you are so full of crap that the smallest thing can discourage you from becoming involved in a project or volunteer work.

I also have trouble figuring what I want to do for the rest of my life concerning choosing a career... and i've read all the recommended INFJ careers, but none of them seem like something that will make me happy. The only thing I know is that I want to make the world better, serve other people and help other people.

Anyway, it would be nice to hear from other people, maybe its just me being clueless and afraid to live life...
 
Fatch said:
I want to know from other INFJs if they also have trouble finding a cause to dedicate their time to?

For me its almost as if you can't make up your mind about anything or that you are so full of crap that the smallest thing can discourage you from becoming involved in a project or volunteer work.

I also have trouble figuring what I want to do for the rest of my life concerning choosing a career... and i've read all the recommended INFJ careers, but none of them seem like something that will make me happy. The only thing I know is that I want to make the world better, serve other people and help other people.

Anyway, it would be nice to hear from other people, maybe its just me being clueless and afraid to live life...
Click to expand...

I've gone through my periods where I just didn't know what I wanted to do, what I was suppose to do, and where my life was going. I've recently found out, that most people don't...even the people who are working at their dream jobs! I've heard a lot of mentors speak lately about the serendipitous path that lead them to where they were today. [Mind you, I'm coming from an academic/research background].

To me, I think it's okay to not make up your mind because you're interested in a lot of thing...but it's not okay to let yourself get discouraged over the little things. My philosophy (which has gotten me quite far), is to open every door in your path, and to never let a door close. Living by that, you might find yourself somewhere you never expected, but absolutely love :)

On the more practical side, you might want to speak to a career counsellor. They're great for looking at your interests, strengths, and motivations and helping you figure out what might suit you!
 
Don't you have something that you really love to do, something that you dream of?

Aside from that, the most important thing is to not be discouraged and overhelmed. This lack of direction is natural if you don't know or found your direction.
I think the answer is in you, you just have to find it.

For me it was a series of doubts and wonderings, and still is sometimes, but I enjoy it because these doubts and questions led me to prepare.
At first, I wanted to be a boxer(seriously) like my father was. Then I switched to a doctor, but now that is gone too. And now is something else, which I can't tell haha, but is I think what will be 'set in stones'.
 
I think this is almost common between all the types, less maybe across the INFJs . But I guess some INFJs get this because of their partial openness on the world due to the extroverted feeling . So, they may find themselves confined in the thick of "thin things".
 
If you want to make a big contribution, I would concentrate on the little things.

External accomplishment can be very vain and vacuous. Doing the everyday things deliberately, carefully, thoughtfully and kindly mean a lot.




I can't remember the quote, but St Terese of Lisieux said something along the lines: washing a dish for another with love can do more than an entire hospital with doctors and nurses treating dozens of patients without love.
 
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Same here, because I am so devoted to my values, doing things that are meaningless rot away my soul.
I always wanted to be a singer, but found the system so corrupt and unrewarding I seriously have had to question it.
I love doing art, but for pleasure, not to please people, I don't want to be a people pleaser as it drains me so.
I'm attracted to activism, I like conspiracy stuff, but otoh, I find it easy to alienate people and I need friends, not to drive them away!
I still love music, but I write more now. I went deeply into studying opera at uni, until I realised it was all about elitism and status and not talent.
I have tended to be an intellectual snob, that's my 3 wing, I'm sure, but really hoped we lived in a just and fair world but we don't.
Once I find out success was about not what you know, and more about who you know, I can't express how disappointed I was.
I would like to be an educator, maybe teach music or art, but I'd have to be really truthful with my students about how the system really works, not give them false aspirations like what happened to me, I'd make sure they were doing things for self improvement and pleasure rather than pushing them to get grades and certificates under the false presence they will get great jobs, become famous etc.
 
Oh wow, I didn't expect so many responses, thank you so much. I hope there are other people that also find these responses helpful.

This is going to sound a bit weird, but I always wanted to be a superhero, as I child I would run around in a superman costume trying to save everyone hehe. As I grew up, I obviously knew that being a superhero was impossible (unless you are extremely rich or the victim of a radioactive storm which mutates your cells and imbue you with supernatural powers) but my need to help others never faded, I remember that I would get so angry when innocent people got hurt by bad people and I would fantasise about bringing justice to those individuals... So the closest thing I could think of is Law enforcement, the problem with this is that in my country, the top people in the police are about as corrupt as the criminals themselves and the idea of serving them makes me sick. I have thought about becoming a cop overseas, but its so far away from my family and friends, I wouldn't be able to leave them behind.

Now I am back at square one. But I decided that this year I am going to go on a journey of self discovery, do the things I want to do and not worry too much about my future. I am thinking of doing some vocal training to improve my singing, do Krav Maga or kickboxing, volunteer at a charity and maybe also get myself a lady friend and do some dance classes.

You guys have given me some great advice and it is reaffirming what I started to think about the situation, thank you.
 
One of the biggest things many people need to learn is to be realistic about goals, and I feel this is a big problem for why many people can't seem to find any direction in their life. There's the idea of "I want to be a well known leader" or "I want to be a source of change". They're lofty, noble goals for sure, and it's common to want to set them. In particular for INFJ's this is a big problem. Many want to get to this huge goal quickly, and all the details and smaller steps that need to be made in between seem trivial or beneath them, even if those are not conscious thoughts. As such, a lot of time is wasted trying to find "that one aspiration" that would be the quickest way to ascend to the end of of true "success". That's not easy, nor possible in many cases. Further, one can become quite disillusioned or discouraged by seeing corruption or problems that would block or come up in the way of seeking the goal. Out of the desire to not encounter that, the path is ditched. I think with age (most) individuals come to realize this, and start setting out on realistic goals and make progress.

Goals need to be realistic, and if required, small. As they are met, move up a step. This is of course for individuals who don't have clear aligned goals from the get go. You have to move forward somehow. Sitting still and not progressing is much worse in the long run than trying and failing.
 
Fatch said:
Oh wow, I didn't expect so many responses, thank you so much. I hope there are other people that also find these responses helpful.

This is going to sound a bit weird, but I always wanted to be a superhero, as I child I would run around in a superman costume trying to save everyone hehe. As I grew up, I obviously knew that being a superhero was impossible (unless you are extremely rich or the victim of a radioactive storm which mutates your cells and imbue you with supernatural powers) but my need to help others never faded, I remember that I would get so angry when innocent people got hurt by bad people and I would fantasise about bringing justice to those individuals... So the closest thing I could think of is Law enforcement, the problem with this is that in my country, the top people in the police are about as corrupt as the criminals themselves and the idea of serving them makes me sick. I have thought about becoming a cop overseas, but its so far away from my family and friends, I wouldn't be able to leave them behind.

Now I am back at square one. But I decided that this year I am going to go on a journey of self discovery, do the things I want to do and not worry too much about my future. I am thinking of doing some vocal training to improve my singing, do Krav Maga or kickboxing, volunteer at a charity and maybe also get myself a lady friend and do some dance classes.

You guys have given me some great advice and it is reaffirming what I started to think about the situation, thank you.
Click to expand...
If you cannot stand the corruption in the higher ranks of the police....have you ever considered being a firefighter, or a paramedic? Those are both physical jobs, where the fighting skills wouldn’t come in handy but the element of being physically fit would....and you would be helping your fellow humankind in a very direct way.
 
There are many sides to justice besides law enforcement. Counseling, or otherwise helping victims of crimes, is restorative justice. There's also preventative justice, i.e., researching the causes of crimes and what can be done to prevent them, or counseling juvenile offenders and helping them get out of a life of crime before they become set in it. Or as a journalist, you could uncover corruption and increase public awareness of important issues.

There are a myriad of ways to combine your talents and interests to help others. I would start by doing small things, like volunteering, helping the people already in your life (helping a neighbor move, treating your parents to dinner, other little deeds of goodness...), etc, and meanwhile explore the ways you can use your gifts to help others. I think focusing on self-discovery is a great idea to start finding the right path to take. ^^
 
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