INFJ or ISFJ?

I'm not sure why this comment, more so than the others, make me lean towards ISFJ, but indeed it does. Overall, I'd say ISFJ but the post is filled with ISFJ behaviour and no (at least that I've noticed) signs of INFJ behaviour, so I don't have any reason to say she may be an INFJ. Is it possible that your Ni is quite well developed and she may be an INFJ with a poorly developed Ni and a strongly developed Si? Do you know what kind of environment she grew up in - was it a heavy SJ environment? If so, is it possible that she began to reflect her environment. Or is it likely that she's not as self-aware as she considers herself to be?

Also, what kind of nursing did she do? Did she enjoy it? If I recall correctly, a large majority (or a good number, anyway) of nurses are SJs.

 

Having read all that, she sounds a lot like an ISTJ.

 

Per everything you posted, she does not sound INFJ. She sounds ISFJ (or maybe ISTJ). My wife is ISFJ and they sound very similar.

 

I'm still learning about functions so don't take my word for it, but for me right now, the trait of being highly conventional is the tell that makes me think a person is Si-dominant.

 

this is intersting. she sounds a lot like my mother and I'm also doubting whether she is INFJ or ISFJ.

She is also a nurse, caring for others more than herself, closed up emotionaly and not showing much N interests. Although she had some periods where she was interested in my spirituality and followed me there although she never did anything for herself. I don't know whether your mother ever showed this. My mother had also a bad childhood where her mother was sick al the time (also a bit psychic problems) and she was not very much wanted by her mother. And she didn't the day after I was born and so my mother promised she whould NEVER become like my grandmother and she over cared for me and my brother, completely dismissing herself and in fact became depressed and repreated history by not wanting to repeat it!

But the fact is that she tested INFJ which means she answered yes on the intuition related quostions like "do you just know something" or "do you like archetypes and symbols". I think it is very unlikely for a real ISFJ to type as INFJ because I don't think they have a clue about what those quostions stands for.

So I think both your mother and mine are INFJ's with a very high Si. Maybe something happened in there life, there childhood where they needed to act like an ISFJ. An unhealty ISFJ. She act like she wants everything to be clean an organized but to me it feels more like an act then like her real self. There is something wrong in the picture and there is so much hidden under the surface what makes even more believe she is a closed up INFJ.

qp, your wive is ISFJ? I think that explains a lot about why she doesn't like poems

 

My mother is ESFJ but she could easily (even likely) test as ENFJ because she is very superstitious and believes in all sorts of quasi-spiritual mumbo jumbo. But she has no internal backup for it.

Just saying this is a possibility.

 

Sounds ISTJ. Perhaps you just dont see the real her.

 

I think everything you noted about your mother describes an SJ to textbook perfection. And INFJs have not cornered the market on "knowing things" or psychic phenomenon. My mother is very much an ESTP but she sometimes uses Ni (it's her fourth process). The key is knowing if they regularly use it, or if they're comfortable with using it - so comfortable, that it's automatic and they might not realize they're doing it (it's part of who they are).

EVERYTHING you mentioned about your Mom is very, very SJ behavior. If people tire her and she prefers to be alone, and she shines best when she's alone, then I would also predict that she's an introvert. If she cares more about systems and functions and the "right thing" to do over people and emotional situations then she might be more "T" but if she likes to entertain and she's genuinely interested in what people have to say (and likes gossip and small talk) then I would call her an SFJ.

It's difficult to type our parents because we see them every day. But maybe you should try taking an MBTI test as her (as you think she would answer) and you'll get an understanding of what type you think she is.

 

Just a quick note and I agree with the the posts saying she is probably ISFJ/ISTJ. SJ's can be very very bad with money. it's not common from what I've seen but it can happen. I mean even worse than many other types.

 

yeah that doesn't sound very Nish to me. My mother doesn't read celebrity gossip and isn't into small talk. But on the other hand, I don't spot any Nish with her either. What I want to point out is that she can be INFJ on the inside but not on the outside. I think when people have to type me based on my every day behaviour that they would type me rather as an INTJ or ENTJ then an INFP. I never have shown the outside world my depth because they didn't understand. And I acted like my parents wanted me to (my father is INTJ I think). So it could be that se is stuck in this S'ish wah of acting and is forgoten her debth because se doesn't use it. I had a period in my life where I forgot about it. I felt terrible and finely realised I had to be me again. But some people don't realise this and get stuck in there pattern and the older they get the more stuck they get. I believe that is the case with my mother. Yours can be different I don't know. But an other question: Is she good in the Si stuff, does it feel like Si is her dominant function or can it be that Si is an inferior function that she uses a lot? If she is INFJ with a high Si then Si would be her demon function, the last one.

Demon Function

 

ISFJ

 

She sounds a lot like my mother. My mom worked as an activity therapist/care-aid in a facility, and is such a people pleaser. She is somewhat extraverted, but does like to spend her time at home, but "putters" while she's there. I have never seen her just sitting and looking lost in space, nor have I ever noted her contemplating things reflectively. She tends to worry constantly, she fidgits, gets "naggy" and judgmental if she sees anyone "relaxing", and being deep in thought because she sees it as wasting time. She and I, never hit it off...

Also, she takes it out on others when she feels unfulfilled. I remember her complaining that she felt taken for granted (but I can't knock her for that or type her, as it's a very understandable and maternal way to feel). She judges others though, and seems to have set opinions on certain things, but then in the next breath if I mention anything about something she had once said about someone, she then takes a wierd sort of offense, and tells me that she has understanding, and she's really not interested in speaking badly about others and that I shouldn't be negative about people! (I'm left feeling very confused, as she seems to contradict herself). So yea, I never really know where my mom is at, but she seems highly emotional, and her inner anxiety seems to be screaming for someone to look after the little girl within her. My father has never been good at validating that for her, as she just pissed him off. So yea, she used to look to me for that, but then would always be so inconsistent, and unable to deeply express herself in words, that she would just become annoyed with me if I didn't get her in that moment.

She enjoyed having people over, but as my dad is such an extreme introvert, shy, grumpy, rude, judgmental etc., it made that quite difficult. But yea, the house was always imaculate, and she was always rushing around anxiousely, straightening couch cushions, after you got up and walked away. Sheesh, just remembering living with her exsausts me. All I remember, was trying to escape her so that I could be free to live in my head without getting in trouble for it. And yea, I remember we could never connect on a deeper level, because she would have no idea what I was talking about. Dad too. He was a psychiatric Therapist, so I think as far as he was concerned, I was defective in some way, and likely mentally ill. I just remember always being judged by them both, and feeling like they didn't understand me, know who I was and that I was a disappointment. So, maybe there are some characteristics about my mother that fit with yours? If so, then great, maybe I could figure out my mom's type too, so that she and I could have healthier dynamics. I'm happy you made this thread.

 

It is indeed possible to use Ni and Si both at high levels. I am an example of this. I am most certianly an Ni dominate, but my Si is also quite strong (some will dispute this, though). This really just causes my judging score to be very high.

 

Does a strong Si correlate with a storng J score? Judging and sensing still both really confuse me as they are both quite similar in certain aspects such as the fact that both J and S focus on details and both J an S do not really like chaotic thinking, I am thinking that is why perhaps NJ's are so rare, the use of Ni added to the fact that S vs J can be a mass of contradictions resulting in some heavy mental tension fighting between both sides. We have a need to organize all of our thoughts, which can indeed be pretty hard with all the ideas N usually brings. I personally do have quite a high Si score, and my J has been increasing. Oddly enough N and J are my most ''secured'' functions right now..

 

I just can't believe that many people read your tl;dribble.

 

The reason for NJ's being uncommon is the use of Ni, which is often disliked by most people. It is either unplesent, too much work, or just inefficent to them. Si is often strongly disliked by all Ni users because it goes in a totally different direction then Ni. However, as Si is a shadow function, it can pretty much appear anywhere in ones set. Theoretically Si should be the dead last function, but this is not always the case. It is possible for Si to be high, albeit it is rare. The reason Si and Ni cause a judging score rise if they are both strong, is standalone then can not function. They must be processed through Fe or Te which are the clear judging functions. In particular Ni and Si working together will create a heavy load of information to process and it has to go through a judging function at the same quantity. Thus, a high J score. This is why People with high Ni and Fi tend to have even P/J scores. They are simultenously passing information through a juduging function and a perceving function. This is definitey possible but the overall effect cancels out the apparent P/J score, and thus the lines become muttled.

And trust me, I have a seriously high level of mental tension. It was not until this month that I realized how high it is. It is indeed cause by Ni and Si being used at the same relative level. The judging functions get overloaded. The same thing could happen to someone who used both Fi and Ti strongly, the result might be different though, as this would result in a high P score.

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