To begin with, sorry for creating another thread about identifying someone's personality type. I did a search looking for the differences between INFJ and ISFJ, but would like another opinion. My mother is currently living with me and I am trying to identify her personality type in an effort to get along with her better. She willingly took the MBTI test which she took as a child. She tests as an INFJ and said that's what she tested as as a child. I can definitely say that she is IFJ, but I'm not so sure about the N. She never got along with me growing up as a kid. We literally lived in two seperate realms. I understand her realm and respect it, but she seems incapable of grasping my realm.
What makes me believe she is a SJ? I remember as a child always asking why things were done a certain way and she would always become very upset with me and tell me that it was just the way things were done. She's very much a traditionalist. She enjoys holidays and has been going to a baptist church for years. She was a massive "giver". My family was predominantly NTs who liked to be independent, because of this my mother seemingly was never satisfied with the amount she was giving us. She gave, and gave, and gave to people outside of our family. She spent more time giving to people outside of the family than she did within the family. And then when people didn't completely appreciate what she did she wouldn't say anything until she couldn't take it any more and she would become very upset (rarely) with the people she had been giving to for their lack of gratitude. She always exhausted herself giving to people. She would become stressed out over silly things like creating dinner for this group of people she was giving to.
I'm very high on the Ni scale and have a very unique outlook on life. I care about finding myself and once I find myself I can then find what is I want in life even if that means going totally against the grain. I'm not designed to live a "normal" life. I have to live life my way and by my standards, which is highly unconventional. My mother never got this about me. This made it very difficult for me growing up because she was so conventional and I'm at the other end. I once tried to explain my outlook on life but completely failed. The moment I said anything that went against what is "normal" she would go off on me how it would never work. It was as if when I went against what is conventional I would cross a boundary in her mind and she would just go off on me. For example, when I told her there was the possibility that I wouldn't want to stay in college she completely flipped out on me. I explained to her how I could go about entering the career of my choice without college in a logical, well thought manner. She simply wouldn't accept it and said I would become nothing but a worker at McDonald's if I didn't stay in college. Even after I presented my plan and even gave her examples of people who had done well for themselves without completing college, she simply would not accept it and insisted that it was impossible to become anything without college.
What traits make her possibly NF? I remember, as a child when she was looking for a church she drove by one church and I asked her why she wouldn't go to it. She said it was because the people there did not follow Christ. I asked her when she had gone to the church. She said she had never been to the church. I asked her how she knew the people didn't follow Christ then. She said she just knew. I asked her how she knew. She said it was because large churches never follow Christ. Churches like that become so large only because they tell people what they want to hear. That's how I know they don't follow Christ. This is the closest thing to Ni I've ever seen from her. When I experience Ni, I just know something. I typically don't know why I know it unless I think extremely hard. To me, my mother's argument didn't seem exactly like the Ni I experience.
Other tidbits: She is incredibly bad with money because she spends most of her money giving to others. She isn't majorly worried about the house being clean. She was a bit controlling as a parent at times. She was never much into her appearance. She dressed nicely enough but never cared much about clothing. But she was always very interested in interior home design. She was always watching shows on the telly about it though she could never afford to furnish her home the way she wanted. She didn't have any hobbies or interests outside of giving to people. She worked as a nurse. She next to never showed her emotions to anyone. But she had a steel trap in her mind that would keep tabs on people. Every time someone did or said something to her that she didn't like she would store it away until it all added up and she would dislike the person. Once my mother had done that there was no going back, ever. She always liked receiving positive words for what she was doing. She was fabulous with words and planning though she had a tendency to fly by the seat of her pants. She had only one long distance friend. I would often times, through Ni, come up ideas and would excitedly explain them to her and she would just brush them off and ignore my ideas. She couldn't have cared less about them.
I've read that INFJs feel the need to improve themselves and the world around them and fulfill their human potential. I never got that feeling from my mother. I've also read about INFJs being creative, which my mother is not creative in the least. She would go with what's already been done before creating something new. As for having a "rich, complicated inner life" I would say not. She sees life in a much more superficial way than myself.
I'm sure through all of this one can identify that I believe her to be more of an ISFJ. I'm almost feel like I'm being slightly prejudice against her being an N because we never got along and because she has never been able to except my unconventional ways. That's exactly why I am asking here. If there are any questions that would better help identify her, I am happy to answer.
What makes me believe she is a SJ? I remember as a child always asking why things were done a certain way and she would always become very upset with me and tell me that it was just the way things were done. She's very much a traditionalist. She enjoys holidays and has been going to a baptist church for years. She was a massive "giver". My family was predominantly NTs who liked to be independent, because of this my mother seemingly was never satisfied with the amount she was giving us. She gave, and gave, and gave to people outside of our family. She spent more time giving to people outside of the family than she did within the family. And then when people didn't completely appreciate what she did she wouldn't say anything until she couldn't take it any more and she would become very upset (rarely) with the people she had been giving to for their lack of gratitude. She always exhausted herself giving to people. She would become stressed out over silly things like creating dinner for this group of people she was giving to.
I'm very high on the Ni scale and have a very unique outlook on life. I care about finding myself and once I find myself I can then find what is I want in life even if that means going totally against the grain. I'm not designed to live a "normal" life. I have to live life my way and by my standards, which is highly unconventional. My mother never got this about me. This made it very difficult for me growing up because she was so conventional and I'm at the other end. I once tried to explain my outlook on life but completely failed. The moment I said anything that went against what is "normal" she would go off on me how it would never work. It was as if when I went against what is conventional I would cross a boundary in her mind and she would just go off on me. For example, when I told her there was the possibility that I wouldn't want to stay in college she completely flipped out on me. I explained to her how I could go about entering the career of my choice without college in a logical, well thought manner. She simply wouldn't accept it and said I would become nothing but a worker at McDonald's if I didn't stay in college. Even after I presented my plan and even gave her examples of people who had done well for themselves without completing college, she simply would not accept it and insisted that it was impossible to become anything without college.
What traits make her possibly NF? I remember, as a child when she was looking for a church she drove by one church and I asked her why she wouldn't go to it. She said it was because the people there did not follow Christ. I asked her when she had gone to the church. She said she had never been to the church. I asked her how she knew the people didn't follow Christ then. She said she just knew. I asked her how she knew. She said it was because large churches never follow Christ. Churches like that become so large only because they tell people what they want to hear. That's how I know they don't follow Christ. This is the closest thing to Ni I've ever seen from her. When I experience Ni, I just know something. I typically don't know why I know it unless I think extremely hard. To me, my mother's argument didn't seem exactly like the Ni I experience.
Other tidbits: She is incredibly bad with money because she spends most of her money giving to others. She isn't majorly worried about the house being clean. She was a bit controlling as a parent at times. She was never much into her appearance. She dressed nicely enough but never cared much about clothing. But she was always very interested in interior home design. She was always watching shows on the telly about it though she could never afford to furnish her home the way she wanted. She didn't have any hobbies or interests outside of giving to people. She worked as a nurse. She next to never showed her emotions to anyone. But she had a steel trap in her mind that would keep tabs on people. Every time someone did or said something to her that she didn't like she would store it away until it all added up and she would dislike the person. Once my mother had done that there was no going back, ever. She always liked receiving positive words for what she was doing. She was fabulous with words and planning though she had a tendency to fly by the seat of her pants. She had only one long distance friend. I would often times, through Ni, come up ideas and would excitedly explain them to her and she would just brush them off and ignore my ideas. She couldn't have cared less about them.
I've read that INFJs feel the need to improve themselves and the world around them and fulfill their human potential. I never got that feeling from my mother. I've also read about INFJs being creative, which my mother is not creative in the least. She would go with what's already been done before creating something new. As for having a "rich, complicated inner life" I would say not. She sees life in a much more superficial way than myself.
I'm sure through all of this one can identify that I believe her to be more of an ISFJ. I'm almost feel like I'm being slightly prejudice against her being an N because we never got along and because she has never been able to except my unconventional ways. That's exactly why I am asking here. If there are any questions that would better help identify her, I am happy to answer.
Last edited:
