Hello, everyone! I'm brand new here, but I've been trying to figure out my type for quite some time, and I appreciate any help that you can give me.
I'll admit that I consistently test as ISTJ, but I do not relate to the descriptions of this type at all; I chalk it up to poor test-taking on my own part. When reading about the various types, the two that I seem caught between are INFJ and ISFJ. I've read what I can about the differences between the two, but am still unsure. I'll do my best to describe myself, and hopefully you will be able to help! (And, who knows? I could be incorrect about those as well. I've definitely struggled in finding my type.)
To start, even coming here to ask this is very frustrating for me. I enjoy learning more about myself, and about the people in my life, but I hate asking for help. I prefer to research and absorb information on my own, without really discussing it with other people. That's how I've always been: I discover a topic that interests me, devour every scrap of information that I can on the subject, and file it away, forever, to draw upon at a later date. I rarely go to others for help with this; it doesn't make sense to me to ask another person for information that I could get on my own, without bothering that person.
On the other hand, I've always been very intuitive with others. I have often been the "advice friend", and have been glad to be able to help people this way. On the flip side, I've found it draining, because friends may come to depend on my ability to help and sort out their problems/issues/feelings/situations and I end up being the friend that people only come to when there is an emergency to sort out. This isn't something that I'm resentful of; it just seems to be what I am good at, and I'm generally happy to help. Unfortunately, I am less adept at the "maintenance" parts of social interaction. After the emergency/crisis/big life event is over, people and I tend to part ways. I'm okay with this, for the most part -- I don't often seek people out, to tell you the truth -- but I do find the entire "being with people" thing a bit confusing.
So, I'm the person who can dissect and figure out an entire other person's life for them, but is entirely flummoxed when it comes to what people mean to her own life. I can be a bit naive, and alternately too-trusting or overly cynical. Very rarely is there an in-between.
However, when I do have a long-term friend, that person is categorized as "friend" forever -- even if we have not talked for two years, we are friends, and if it were up to me, we'd pick up exactly where we left off two years ago, were we to run into each other again. I'm lucky enough to have one person in my life who this is successful with. We see each other once a year or so, and it works out fantastically.
I'm very loyal, and I do get deeply invested in people. However, this investment doesn't really involve a need for lots of contact. If I care about you, I check in with you; see what your status is, if you are doing okay, where you are at with your life's goals. "What have you been doing? How are you doing it? How are you feeling about it?" But I can be admittedly disinterested in the plotline to that comedy you just saw, or the poem you just wrote. I enjoy knowing that you're writing poetry; I'd like to know WHY you are writing poetry, and what you want to do with it. If you're not normally a poetry writer, I'll notice the change, and try to figure out where it's coming from, and check in with you emotionally. But, interest in the poetry itself? Meh.
It's been confirmed recently that I do "a stare" that can be unsettling. I definitely don't have a great sense over what my face is doing, ha!
I enjoy symbolism. I like trying to figure out where phrases and proverbs may have originated, how and why certain words deviated from their literal meaning to gain a different, "cultural" meaning, and what that means, both for English, and for society. But if you were to ask me for an example of this off the top of my head, I'd draw a complete blank (as I'm doing now!). It's more of a "this is the turn my thoughts take when I am ruminating" thing.
Most humor/sarcasm flies right over my head, but I do love a good pun.
I like my routine, and do fall into the trap of believing that "my way" is the right way. I find patterns in behavior, and if I can sense that someone is behaving in a way that I think I recognize, my mind tends to jump right to the expected conclusion -- for better or for worse. "Well, I know how THIS is going to end." However, I'm the furthest thing from traditionally organized. I'm more of a, "Please don't touch that pile; I swear that I know where everything is in it. That pile contains my electric bill, something that I have to fill out for my daughter's preschool, my car keys, and two cards I've been meaning to put back in my tarot deck. No, don't touch that pile, either! Most of it is junk mail, but somewhere right in the middle is a piece of paper with a neat picture I was meaning to cut out and nail to the wall. Yes, it has been sitting there for a week and a half. No, that hasn't lessened my intention to do something with it, when I'm ready."
I always did well in school, but did not continue in college. I became very frustrated with the necessity for taking classes that I was not interested in, and felt that I'd never use. I learn well on my own, and would rather do things my own way. If I could have cherry-picked just the classes that I was intensely interested in, and somehow turned that into a degree, I would have succeeded fantastically! Instead, I found myself wondering, "What am I even working towards?" and drifted away. Not that I've really regretted it, although it is frustrating to not have the piece of paper to wave around, stating to the world, "I am competent in a measured field!" I enjoy soaking up information on my own, and consider it a lifelong joy.
I do like a tidy and appealing environment, and I get extremely flustered when things are not how they should be. However, I'm not the kind of person who does a little bit every day, or has any kind or organized system. I don't like it, but I do tend to let things pile up until I'm frustrated with it, and then I take care of it all at once. I'm too distracted by things that I want to read/do/think about to want to deal with things like that, and I'll get carried away for days at a time, until I finally look around myself and think, "Yeah, this is visually overwhelming. And the dishes need to be done. Fine, it's time to roll up my sleeves." Not that things are ever really, truly gross, or anything. But I'm definitely not a "chore list/schedule" person. More of a *looks around* "Well, this place looks like crap. Time to tidy up." The result is the same, but the mental process is totally different, ha.
Okay, that was a novel. And I'm not entirely sure if I gave information that was helpful or not. (If there's anything else I should have described instead, please let me know!) If you've stayed with me so far, thank you. I really want to lay this to rest; the uncertainty is driving me nuts!
I'll admit that I consistently test as ISTJ, but I do not relate to the descriptions of this type at all; I chalk it up to poor test-taking on my own part. When reading about the various types, the two that I seem caught between are INFJ and ISFJ. I've read what I can about the differences between the two, but am still unsure. I'll do my best to describe myself, and hopefully you will be able to help! (And, who knows? I could be incorrect about those as well. I've definitely struggled in finding my type.)
To start, even coming here to ask this is very frustrating for me. I enjoy learning more about myself, and about the people in my life, but I hate asking for help. I prefer to research and absorb information on my own, without really discussing it with other people. That's how I've always been: I discover a topic that interests me, devour every scrap of information that I can on the subject, and file it away, forever, to draw upon at a later date. I rarely go to others for help with this; it doesn't make sense to me to ask another person for information that I could get on my own, without bothering that person.
On the other hand, I've always been very intuitive with others. I have often been the "advice friend", and have been glad to be able to help people this way. On the flip side, I've found it draining, because friends may come to depend on my ability to help and sort out their problems/issues/feelings/situations and I end up being the friend that people only come to when there is an emergency to sort out. This isn't something that I'm resentful of; it just seems to be what I am good at, and I'm generally happy to help. Unfortunately, I am less adept at the "maintenance" parts of social interaction. After the emergency/crisis/big life event is over, people and I tend to part ways. I'm okay with this, for the most part -- I don't often seek people out, to tell you the truth -- but I do find the entire "being with people" thing a bit confusing.
So, I'm the person who can dissect and figure out an entire other person's life for them, but is entirely flummoxed when it comes to what people mean to her own life. I can be a bit naive, and alternately too-trusting or overly cynical. Very rarely is there an in-between.
However, when I do have a long-term friend, that person is categorized as "friend" forever -- even if we have not talked for two years, we are friends, and if it were up to me, we'd pick up exactly where we left off two years ago, were we to run into each other again. I'm lucky enough to have one person in my life who this is successful with. We see each other once a year or so, and it works out fantastically.
I'm very loyal, and I do get deeply invested in people. However, this investment doesn't really involve a need for lots of contact. If I care about you, I check in with you; see what your status is, if you are doing okay, where you are at with your life's goals. "What have you been doing? How are you doing it? How are you feeling about it?" But I can be admittedly disinterested in the plotline to that comedy you just saw, or the poem you just wrote. I enjoy knowing that you're writing poetry; I'd like to know WHY you are writing poetry, and what you want to do with it. If you're not normally a poetry writer, I'll notice the change, and try to figure out where it's coming from, and check in with you emotionally. But, interest in the poetry itself? Meh.
It's been confirmed recently that I do "a stare" that can be unsettling. I definitely don't have a great sense over what my face is doing, ha!
I enjoy symbolism. I like trying to figure out where phrases and proverbs may have originated, how and why certain words deviated from their literal meaning to gain a different, "cultural" meaning, and what that means, both for English, and for society. But if you were to ask me for an example of this off the top of my head, I'd draw a complete blank (as I'm doing now!). It's more of a "this is the turn my thoughts take when I am ruminating" thing.
Most humor/sarcasm flies right over my head, but I do love a good pun.
I like my routine, and do fall into the trap of believing that "my way" is the right way. I find patterns in behavior, and if I can sense that someone is behaving in a way that I think I recognize, my mind tends to jump right to the expected conclusion -- for better or for worse. "Well, I know how THIS is going to end." However, I'm the furthest thing from traditionally organized. I'm more of a, "Please don't touch that pile; I swear that I know where everything is in it. That pile contains my electric bill, something that I have to fill out for my daughter's preschool, my car keys, and two cards I've been meaning to put back in my tarot deck. No, don't touch that pile, either! Most of it is junk mail, but somewhere right in the middle is a piece of paper with a neat picture I was meaning to cut out and nail to the wall. Yes, it has been sitting there for a week and a half. No, that hasn't lessened my intention to do something with it, when I'm ready."
I always did well in school, but did not continue in college. I became very frustrated with the necessity for taking classes that I was not interested in, and felt that I'd never use. I learn well on my own, and would rather do things my own way. If I could have cherry-picked just the classes that I was intensely interested in, and somehow turned that into a degree, I would have succeeded fantastically! Instead, I found myself wondering, "What am I even working towards?" and drifted away. Not that I've really regretted it, although it is frustrating to not have the piece of paper to wave around, stating to the world, "I am competent in a measured field!" I enjoy soaking up information on my own, and consider it a lifelong joy.
I do like a tidy and appealing environment, and I get extremely flustered when things are not how they should be. However, I'm not the kind of person who does a little bit every day, or has any kind or organized system. I don't like it, but I do tend to let things pile up until I'm frustrated with it, and then I take care of it all at once. I'm too distracted by things that I want to read/do/think about to want to deal with things like that, and I'll get carried away for days at a time, until I finally look around myself and think, "Yeah, this is visually overwhelming. And the dishes need to be done. Fine, it's time to roll up my sleeves." Not that things are ever really, truly gross, or anything. But I'm definitely not a "chore list/schedule" person. More of a *looks around* "Well, this place looks like crap. Time to tidy up." The result is the same, but the mental process is totally different, ha.
Okay, that was a novel. And I'm not entirely sure if I gave information that was helpful or not. (If there's anything else I should have described instead, please let me know!) If you've stayed with me so far, thank you. I really want to lay this to rest; the uncertainty is driving me nuts!
Last edited:
