infj, just friends or more

[zbrobins]

My INFJ friend and I have been friends for over a year and a half. For about a year, he would joke about being my husband and being married to me. So, even though I really like him, I wasn’t sure if he was just being flirtatious. He has a lot of female friends. He claims he has no interest in them. One of the female friends is my friend, she does like him. Her name is Rachel. She constantly calls and tells me that he texts her that he misses her, she’s staying in Boston now, while we are in the Midwest. So, I figured he must like her, so I back away and stopped communicating with him unless it was necessary. I don’t want to cause a strife between our friendships if he truly likes her. He doesn’t like talking on the phone, but in the last month he has called me at least once a week.

FYI, he is 8 years younger than I am. He’s 27 yrs old and has an old soul. Well, anyway, him and I had lunch together and he thanked me for some advise I had given him and said that nobody ever been that honest with him. After that, he visited me the next week when I was sick and he kept video taping me. And he told me he has other videos and picture of me. Then he mentioned that he wants to meet my family and he’s looking through my family and friends pictures. Something he has never done before, and he’s been over here a few times in the last year.

This week he invited me over to his house and I noticed that he had six other male friends there, his family, and I was the only non-relative adult female. So, the question is, does he see me as one of the guys, an older woman that he can get advise from, just family, just a friend or more? He always says that all of his female friends are just friends, BTW. And no, I will not ask. And I am ISTP.

 

[Eventhorizon]

At this point you cant know. And he may not know you think of him that way. I have known women that I was very open with because I thought they had to know I did t think of them that way. So there are many many reasons he may act that way with you to include he MIGHT have some interest in you but again, theres no way to tell from what you have said bere.
So the question is are you willing to wait years to see if he directly expresses interest in you or the rest of your life for him never to?

Be direcf. Tell him you like him and that youd like to spend time with him in that way. Otherwise I think youll never know. And it could be tbat some other woman comes by who is direct and steals him away while you are waiting to decide.

Sorry for errors, typing on phone.

 

[zbrobins]

Thanks. Any INFJ's have any advise? He's very different from the other guys I've been involved with. He knows me better than any of them have.

 

[ZanZan]

He sounds like me. But when I claims I have no interest in someone, I really mean I have NO interest. You know you can tell your friends that you DO miss them, male or female. You will never know if there's a worthwhile relationship between you two until you try. Tell him how you feel.