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INFJ friends

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ShIndigo

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Nov 26, 2010
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Or more specifically, INFJs from an INFJ's perspective.

I've never met another INFJ in real life. I've met lots of INFPs, ENFPs, and some ENFJs; but never any INFJs. Yet I'm intensely interested in what another INFJ would be like - would he/she be like me? Would she have the same ability of intuitively understanding people? The prospect of finding a person who could possibly get into my head and understand; more than anything, is thrilling and scary at the same time.

What are your experiences with meeting a fellow INFJ?

Did you have any expectations of what he/she would be like, before you got to know him/her? What did he/she eventually turn out to be like?

Is there a natural affinity between two INFJs?
 
Funny you should mention this. I was talking with a friend TODAY whom I would consider to be one of my closest friends. I asked her: "have you taken the MB test?" She said yes and that she was an INFJ!!! :) Honestly the news did not surprise me. We are able to understand each other in away no one else can. I can tell her anything, and she "just knows." We relate on so many different levels. I absolutely adore her.

Of all things, she and I met on a myspace forum pertaining to the town where we live. We found we had so many things in common, the first being we had 2 boys the same ages. I cannot say we "clicked" instantly, only b/c we were both cautious with a new friendship. Over time we have opened up to each other and found mutual trust/respect. I feel very very lucky to have her. <3

There is risk with all friendships, but sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. ;)
 
I've only ever met one for sure and we lived together in college. She was very good at comforting me when I was upset. IDK. Actually, I think she was quite a bit more E though she tested I. She wore her emotions on her sleeve and was much more forward in communicating negative feedback...

Other than that, I really did appreciate her compassion, insight and thoughtfulness. She was really intense...and also had a really impressive protective and solid appreciation for people.
 
Hrmm, my best friend who I can only guess would be an INFJ would have to be Coco. He doesn't say much, but definitely lets me know how he feels and seems to know an answer to a question before it's even asked. Even though he always keeps his area neat and tidy, we really need to have a serious sit-down to discuss some of the other housework though...

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One of my best friends is an INFJ. We've known each other since high school. I didn't really have any expectations. We met when our two separate friend groups began to overlap. We had class together and similar interests.

In my case, she's extremely similar to me. It seems like we have the same train of thought and the same reactions to things. There are a lot of "EXACTLY. Finally, someone gets it" moments between us. We don't have a very sentimental friendship. We both prefer not to talk about things that are upsetting us. However, we can always tell when something is bothering the other and make an effort to lighten the mood (getting ice cream, going for a walk, spontaneously driving to Waffle House at 2AM). We don't push each other to divulge what's wrong. There's definitely a quiet understanding between us.

I can only think of one moment where I actually broke down and cried in front of my INFJ friend. I had broken up with my girlfriend but still harbored serious feelings for her. I got it in my head that I could ask her to prom and everything would be okay again. My INFJ friend hugged me, looked me straight in the eye, and gave me her honest to goodness opinion on the situation. It was not what I wanted to hear. But she was honest and wise about it and that meant a lot to me. She gently shook me out of the delusions I had made for myself over the past months in 5 minutes at most.

I'm really glad I have a friend like that. It's good to have at least one person who easily understands where you're coming from, you know? Someone to say "No, it's not just you. I agree."
 
I know several INFJs but I'm not very close with either of them at the moment.

One of them is my friend since early childhood, and probably will never be a mature INFJs due to severe emotional abuse she's been under from teenage years to now. The other two are a couple, but they have never been very close to me.

I noticed something, though, in those friendships if I may call them that way, and that is that those people no matter the distance and the time passed without any contact, are very comfortable around me when we finally see each other, there is never that tension of lost contact and fear of not understanding how we changed over time.
 
My parents are INFJ.

Back when I used to live with them, we were very close.

Part of it was friendship, but part was also fellowship. Imagine yourself stranded on some alien world, that is not too amenable to humans, with two other people: you would be pretty close, right? That's what it was like growing up: three INFJs in one house, with extroverted neighbours.
 
Met a probable infj woman at a function about a year ago: total meetings attended were about 10. The attraction was magnetic and without effort. She is not available, but we both know that a rare moment occurred.
 
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I have met two in person. One was a roommate of mine. It was fun to hang out and have some conversation, but it sort of died out because I decided he had more pressing friends to attend to. The other was a friend, and we conversed on a complex level, usually humorous. We saw each other on a nonverbal level. It's difficult to use the same functions, but it's also great, because you basically know how to read the other person better, whether they're in a fun mode or a tired, sad, or insecure mode.
 
I met one recently. We kept trying to start up a more serious friendship but neither one of us seems to want to put in the effort. :)
 
The mutual initiative-taking dies out after a while, so basically we have to be in the same living environment in order to enjoy each other's company, or we have to converse about similar topics of interest. Also depends if we're Identity Relations in Socionics type.
 
I only know one, my best friend's mum. She is probably my favourite person.
We can spend all day talking, normally drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. We can talk about absolutely everything but we love talking about bizzare things like time travel and parallel universes.
In her I can see some of my strengths and weaknesses. She has developed all her cognitive functions and is a very well rounded person. She is 25 years older then me, very sucessful secondary school teacher and coordinator, happily married, happy daughters, and the most beautiful and comfortable home.
She is the only person that I seek advice from. We understand and respond to each other inuitively. We work well together and can be very productive. Its weird because our opinions and views on everything are so diffferent but we just seem to accept each other. We love debating. She is in some ways the person I feel closest to and most comfortable with in the world.


I would love to spend more time with her but my best friend gets annoyed by this as she'd rather just hang out with me.
 
Sriracha said:
Funny you should mention this. I was talking with a friend TODAY whom I would consider to be one of my closest friends. I asked her: "have you taken the MB test?" She said yes and that she was an INFJ!!! :) Honestly the news did not surprise me. We are able to understand each other in away no one else can. I can tell her anything, and she "just knows." We relate on so many different levels. I absolutely adore her.

Of all things, she and I met on a myspace forum pertaining to the town where we live. We found we had so many things in common, the first being we had 2 boys the same ages. I cannot say we "clicked" instantly, only b/c we were both cautious with a new friendship. Over time we have opened up to each other and found mutual trust/respect. I feel very very lucky to have her. <3

There is risk with all friendships, but sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. ;)
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LOL, I hate quoting myself ... but she re-took the test and came up with ISFJ. Doesnt' change a thing. I still adore her.
 
I can only speak out of one experience of an INFJ friend I had a while back. The only thing I can say is that it didn't work in the end because we grew distrustful of each other considering that none of us would open up. We were shallow friends. We were nice and amiable to each other, but we just couldn't drop the mask and reveal our true selves to one another. And that was the end of it.
 
Asarya said:
happily married, happy daughters, and the most beautiful and comfortable home.

I would love to spend more time with her but my best friend gets annoyed by this as she'd rather just hang out with me.
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Happily married INFJ with functional home environment? hmm...
Your friend would rather just hang out with you one on one? Is she INFJ as well?
 
knight in battle said:
Happily married INFJ with functional home environment? hmm...
Your friend would rather just hang out with you one on one? Is she INFJ as well?
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She is happily married to an ESTJ. In some ways they are more like best friends and companions than husband and wife, but they are a great duo regardless. The well functioning home may have a bit to do with her husband I suppose. She has very refined taste and her home is beautiful, functional and super comfortable. Also, she has great relationships with both her daughters. The family is so functional its almost sickening.
My best friends an ENFP. Sometimes she's a bit possesive and I think it creeps her out how well her mum and I get along.
 
Asarya said:
She is happily married to an ESTJ. In some ways they are more like best friends and companions than husband and wife, but they are a great duo regardless. The well functioning home may have a bit to do with her husband I suppose. She has very refined taste and her home is beautiful, functional and super comfortable. Also, she has great relationships with both her daughters. The family is so functional its almost sickening.
My best friends an ENFP. Sometimes she's a bit possesive and I think it creeps her out how well her mum and I get along.
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Your analysis is thoroughly enjoyable. I can't think of a better match for INFJs than ESTJs. Isn't it clear that they are complements on all the major functions, even without considering socionics? Nonetheless, when I saw your description of a "functional" "comfortable" home, I immediately thought of an SJ.

Ah yes, the ENFP conundrum. Sigh.
 
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