[INFJ] INFJ Female with ESFJ Male

[ellju8789]

Hello all!

For some reason, I have a hard time finding info on this particular romantic relationship: INFJ Female + ESFJ Male. INFJ + ESFJ info is harder to come by than some other types, for whatever reason, and when I do see it, it's usually the male who is INFJ.

I've been in a relationship with an ESFJ male for nearly two years. I would call it a healthy relationship, but it seems like the general consensus with people is that INFJs and ESFJs tend not to make good couples.

And to be honest, I wonder if my boyfriend is ESFJ at all. None of the MBTI descriptions really seem to fit him to a tee the way INFJ does for me. I guess I might have to start digging deeper into cognitive functions...

Anyway, thoughts regarding an INFJ+ESFJ (specifically INFJ female, ESFK male) relationship? Pros/cons?

 

[barbad0s]

I don't really see why they couldn't make a good couple.

Just generalizing, the ESFJ would probably see the INFJ as eccentric and bitchy sometimes. They might see them as a little flaky.

The INFJ might see the ESFJ as being a little antagonistic sometimes with the forceful expression. The INFJ might feel like the ESFJ doesn't fully understand them on a fundamental level, but then hardly anybody understands INFJs on a fundamental level anyway.

 

[apemon]

I can't be specific to your situation, however my wife is esfj. It's been interesting.

 

[Lexika]

Hello all!

For some reason, I have a hard time finding info on this particular romantic relationship: INFJ Female + ESFJ Male. INFJ + ESFJ info is harder to come by than some other types, for whatever reason, and when I do see it, it's usually the male who is INFJ.

If you're looking for information on relations between types, just google for "socionics intertype relationships" and you'll find a lot of info. It has general schematics for development of each inter-type interaction based on interviews of people in these relations.

INFJ - ESFJ relationship would be that of Supervision and it indeed isn't recommended. Not so much for the INFJ because INFJ is in the supervisor role in this pair, as for the ESFJ who is in supervisee role and who will feel most of the unpleasant aspects. (Also keep in mind that in socionics j/p letters get switched for introverts so INFJ becomes INFp or IEI).

 

[Reddae]

If you're looking for information on relations between types, just google for "socionics intertype relationships" and you'll find a lot of info. It has general schematics for development of each inter-type interaction based on interviews of people in these relations.

INFJ - ESFJ relationship would be that of Supervision and it indeed isn't recommended. Not so much for the INFJ because INFJ is in the supervisor role in this pair, as for the ESFJ who is in supervisee role and who will feel most of the unpleasant aspects. (Also keep in mind that in socionics j/p letters get switched for introverts so INFJ becomes INFp or IEI).

Hello there. I’ve come to the party very late, I see. However, in case anyone happens to land on this page (as I did; being a female INFJ I a relationship with a male ESFJ)... with all respect and appreciation for your posted reference and link (I loved the article and have learned much! So thank you)... gently meant, what I read in the socionics article linked in your post is that the INFJ - ESFJ falls within the ‘Illusionary’ type (or in some articles known alternatively as the ‘Mirage’ type). I can relate to the article so well and I highly throw in my enthusiastic recommendation to ellju8789’s post. It contains some real answers to this type, and in a constructive, relevant and usable way; along with pointers to help make this type successful.
So, again Thank you ellju!