[INFJ] - INFJ and ENTP relationship? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] INFJ and ENTP relationship?

LXB93

Two
Mar 5, 2018
2
0
24
MBTI
INFJ
Im an INFJ women with an ENTP man we've been together for 7 years, and have two children, as a farther he is beyond amazing! But he does little to nothing to keep our spark alive.. And I've always felt like i dont get enough from him emotionally? Does anyone else feel this way with an ENTP?? I’ve tried to talk to him about it.. and he instantly gets bored of it and shuts it down. He’s not willing to work on our relationship and I’m finding that hard. I lost my dad last year, I really struggled with it and I got little to no support from him, and I’ve started to resent him abit, because it always feels like he dosnt care.
 
I’ve tried to talk to him about it.. and he instantly gets bored of it and shuts it down. He’s not willing to work on our relationship and I’m finding that hard.
How have you tried talking to him? Can you provide some more details?
 
Sounds a bit like my boyfriend... Ive been dating an ENTP for 2 and a half years, but he has PTSD from child abuse so from what I’ve read, I think he uses Fe more under stress. He doesn’t usually tell me if he’s stressed though, and then sudddnly gets upset and afterwards tells me he’s been stressed over (long list of things) for a while, as if I should have known.


He gets bored very easily, and it’s also difficult to connect with him on an emotional level, so trying to “fix” relationship problems often turns into arguements for us...

on the other hand, if I go to him about a family/work problem he seems to enjoy trying to tell me how I should handle the situation, and if I tell him I’m worried/upset about something unrelated to him he usually “attempts” to comfort me (whether it be helpful or not. Lol)


if I go to him with a problem related to him, it’s like he goes into panic mode and often reacts like “what do you want me to do? I don’t know what you want me to do”. Or “ that’s what I’m doing”.


After being told over and over again “you should have told me to do this if that’s what you wanted”, I thought about it, and a lot of times I didn’t even know what exactly I wanted him to do to fix the problem, so recently I’ve been trying to figure that out before saying anything to him...

and anything important that I really want him to understand, I usually have to send it in a text because hes not a good listener and is usually too busy watching tv or something and ignoring me to listen.


In our case, if I were to (for example) say “I want you to be more emotionally supportive”, it would probably put him into a panic. If I think about it and feel like it would help me to talk to him about it when he gets off work or something , I’d text him something like “I’m still really upset about what happened with my mom yesterday. Can I talk to you about it when you get off work?” Or I’d just go ask like “I’m pretty depressed so I really want you to spend some time with me today” or something like that...


I feel like we have lots of issues and this hasn’t helped completely but this is just how I’ve been trying to handle it recently (^^;
 
Can't make a person do what they don't want to do. But I would reflect on myself, am I talking to this person that allows them to talk back to me?