Independence

[Apone]

I made this independence scale just now:

1- I don't do anything by myself, and my own interests always come second to that of my group/significant other.
2- I sometimes do things by myself, but I mostly just do what other people expect of me/want me to do.
3- I try to strike a balance-- I depend on others for some things, but for other things I am independent.
4- I do most things by myself, and rely on other people very infrequently.
5- I can meet every single one of my needs all by myself.

I would say I'm probably a 4, but I would love to get to 5 one day. Ever since I watched a video about a guy who built his own cabin in Alaska, I've wanted to either buy a boat and become a pirate/smuggler/adventurer, or become a mountain man… I just think it would be an incredible way to spend the last 10-15 years of my life.

What about you?
Do you think that independence is important?
Do you prefer group or solo experiences?
Any other thoughts on independence?

 

[Soulful]

I'd say I'm probably somewhere between a 3 and a 4. I am very much a loner and go my own way, but when shit hits the fan I do reach out for help. Having said that, I am very much interdependent by virtue of my existence. I don't know just how many people are involved in contributing to the creation of each moment of my life. Where I am, what I am doing, the fact that I continue to exist is undeniably shaped by thousands if not millions or billions of people. We truly are a web, whether or not it's immediately obvious (which it oftentimes isn't).

I think having a sense of self, a sense of one's values, and being accountable for one's thoughts, expression, and conduct are paramount. But obviously our world is very interdependent and it's essential that we understand the value of each of these dynamics and how they feed off of each other/into each other.

I don't know which type of activity I prefer. I do solo activities most of the time, and I probably do prefer these, but I'm a love sponge/lighthouse most days. I'm happy to contribute to groups if I believe in the value of the group dynamic and the goal.

 

[InvisibleJim]

4, I can't give myself a foot massage.

 

[knight in battle]

Overall, I'm a 3.
I depend on online communities, etc, for much conversation and advice.

But in real life, I am probably more of a 4. I hang out with a friend or two a couple times a week, but I don't ask them for much. Previously, I have done more of what they wanted to do, but they were usually things that I also wanted to do, though I did them with less obsession. But now I stick with a couple friends who want to do things that I also would have wanted to do alone or activities, such as hiking, where it's far more interesting doing it with company.

 

[ImpureHedonism]

I don't like the idea that your degree of independence depends on how often you ask for help. That may be true for economic independence, but it's not true for independence as a character trait.

Independence is thinking on your own without letting others think for you. If you're independent, you won't ask for anything you don't deserve. If you ask for help and you deserve it, you are still independent because you're relying on the values you offer as an individual.

Now, if you conform to everyone else because it's what *they* want and what *they* think is right, you're as dependent as can be.