In Love with an INTP | INFJ Forum

In Love with an INTP

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Escrue, Jun 2, 2010.

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  1. Escrue

    Escrue Newbie

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    Hii all! :mhula: I'm so glad I found these forums :m032: I've only ever met one other INFJ in my life, so I'm certainly very happy to be able to talk with you all!



    Basically, I have a massive crush on an INTP girl. (I am also a girl). I've posted about it an INTP forum for their advice, but I thought I'd also come here for the thoughts of like-minded people :m175:

    Do you think I should tell her?

    I think it might cause turbulence in her already rather delicate balance of feelings. I don't want her to feel confused or conflicted. Also, I think her ideal partner would be male, a source of strength and maturity (haha). I am very passive, quiet and docile. Sadly.
     
  2. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    Hello Escrue! And welcome. :m032: I hope you enjoy it here. I wish I had some advice on the INTP relationship front, but sadly I do not. :( As much as I LOVE INTP's I don't really think the sentiment is returned. =/ Perhaps however some of the other members can help. Good luck sweetie. :)
     
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  3. Feelings

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    I like a certain INTP girl too! :m172: But about your INTP girl, I'm impressed that you've figured her out like you have. And endearing how much thought you put into what her needs are. :m015:

    Should you tell her? I got no idea. I pretty much tell everyone when I feel things for them, but I'm about as subtle as a sledgehammer so you probably don't want to be like me.
     
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  4. Melkor

    Melkor Madman with a cause

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    I think the most important thing is subtly. Don't say love, say 'admire', don't say 'Sexy' say 'intellectually stimulating'.

    Likewise don't throw yourself at her. I find INTP's to be very versatile in nature, even with relationships! So a doubly passive couple is not out of the question, hell, I'd love a passive girl/guy because then I'd get a bit of peace now and then.

    Just think of us as rather moody old cats.

    Difficult to get through to, not likely to play on a whim,but get the right ham...
     
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  5. OP
    Escrue

    Escrue Newbie

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    Thankyou so much for your thoughts guys! :m032: I appreciate it so much!
    Well, I just called her and confessed my feelings. She didn't say whether she liked me back or not, but she still wants to be my friend. She said she was confused about her sexuality before, but that she is leaning towards being straight.

    The conversation was really awkward and there is so much turmoil inside me right now :m142:

    And she just uploaded a pic of Tony Stark as her email avatar :m142: I think my heart is breaking D; WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
    Lol, I should probably go to the emotional support forum now xD
     
    #5 Escrue, Jun 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2010
  6. Feelings

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    First heartbreak. Usually there are several in a person's life. You seem very caring of your potential mate though, so whoever ends up with you is very lucky.
     
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  7. OP
    Escrue

    Escrue Newbie

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    Thanks for the advice ^____^ I've experienced heartbreak before, but never with a very close friend. Usually with a guy I knew semi-well xD
     
  8. GaiaGraha

    GaiaGraha Community Member

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    I am so sorry that it did not work out.

    I understand the pain of crushing on/being in love with a female friend who is straight. It really is a horrible feeling.

    But I commend you in you courage to speak up. You are far braver than I.

    ::hugs::

    :m032:
     
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  9. GarmGarf

    GarmGarf Regular Poster

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    Hi, again, Escrue (I was the first to respond in your thread over at INTP Forum).

    Sorry to hear this didn't turn out so well. :(


    It's the same with me, except with INFJs.
     
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  10. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    :hug:
     
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  11. whytiger

    whytiger Community Member

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    Mostly likely returned but not expressed. You have to tease it out :).

    @OP, I'm sorry it didn't work out but platonic love has its benefits too. Although I'm straight I would say that I love my three best male friends.
     
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  12. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    I am also in love with an INTP currently. Took a looong time to encourage him to come along. hahaha---it's true when people say that INTPs can get easily scared off if you're too explicit like "we are in a relationship NOW." It must be something gradual. Although the uncertainty that's involved in that wait is nerve-wrecking, it's well worth the wait. You learn whether you are a good match for each other.
     
  13. Feelings

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    Should try INTJ. We are straightforward and upfront and don't scare easily. And we're incredibly emotionally needy. Helps you feel important.
     
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  14. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    If you feel like you can still be friends without expectations, that would be ideal. My only two serious relationships have been with INTPs, and so while there are differences, people of that type tend to be analytical, sometimes cautious in relationships, and don't respond well to pressure. That need to feel no pressure, but still have closeness is important. It might be hard for you to pull that off, but if you can it sounds like you could have a meaningful connection of at least friendship.
     
  15. GarmGarf

    GarmGarf Regular Poster

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    Yeah, I think us INTPs have a conservative personal lifestyle desire (tertiary Si?).

    For me personally anyway, I prefer changes in my lifestyle to happen gradually. However, some things in life are worth the sharp lifestyle alteration they require.
     
  16. Auburn

    Auburn Regular Poster

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    What exactly is it that INFJs love so much about INTPs?:m075::m125:
    I've been wondering this for some time...
     
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  17. NeverAmI

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    Rearrange the letters and it spells pint. :D
     
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  18. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    I have a theory that types with the same set of judging or perceiving functions, but in the opposite order have an attraction to each other, because one person always has a higher level of development of the function the other person also has and recognizes in themselves. Their functions sort of aspire toward one another, like some form of compensation.

    /sloppy quick explanation


    INTJs are one of the most emotionally independent types. Neediness isn't a characteristic unless the individual is heavily engulfed in the Ni-Fi loop, I believe. INTJs will only display some forms of neediness in a specific context, or rather specific people they've become attached to, which is consistent with tertiary Fi.
     
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    #18 Peppermint, Jun 3, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2010
  19. whytiger

    whytiger Community Member

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    It definitely helps to share judging functions.
     
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  20. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Ah pierce, my previous love interest was an INTJ :p I love you guys, no need to convince me in that department. My best friend is also an INTJ and I joke with him that my husband is most probably going to be INTJ.
     
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