So, pretty much I've been consumed with trying to understand just what the hell has been going on with me over the past couple of years.
In 2010 I was an ISFJ; my preferences were Introversion (56%), Sensing (1%), Feeling (1%), Judging (33%).
Presently, INFJ: Introversion (100%), Intuition (62%), Feeling (25%), Judging (11%)
Things were really going well back in 2010, and they had been for several years... but things went downhill after I started becoming more and more obsessive and perfectionistic. My insomnia was CRIPPLING... I kept a sleep log to try and keep track of it, and on average I was sleeping about 22% the recommended amount over the course of 8 months. It was last April that I guess all of the stress I was under and the physical toll prolonged sleep deprivation and significant under-nutrition took on my physical and mental health finally became too much and I literally collapsed. I had to leave my job (which was my obsession... I'm a pathological workaholic) and my independence and was forced to move in with my parents. That was the tipping point, really... see, my dad was suffering from what we know now was Lewy-body dementia with additional complications from Alzheimer's, but at the time it was undiagnosable.
So, I spent the summer being insane and depressed... mood swings, still a lot of sleep disturbances and insomnia, I gained a lot of weight, I developed this wicked writer's block that was probably the most difficult thing for me, and I never had any way to escape. My dad was homebound and my mom was the caretaker, so it was always loud and I could never be alone and holy crap it was hell. Long story short, he passed away in February and I've been trying to move on. I'm working to understand why my writer's block is still so overwhelming, and why I can't seem to connect or get out of this funk. I still have the tendency to obsess and I absolutely cannot stop researching anything, ever. I'll stay up for days just reading and reading and reading, and I can't stop myself and I can never understand why. It's when I try to make sense of my research that I realize how much time I've wasted absorbing myself in so much information that I can't get a grasp on it all.
What I can't seem to understand is how my personality managed to shift preferences SO significantly in such a short amount of time. Ultimately I'd like to get back to being more stable and happy, less obsessive and DEFINITELY LESS INTROVERTED. I want to have some sort of balance, but I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. I have no idea how to communicate anymore, and while I used to be extremely sociable and optimistic, I'm now a total hermit and I'm generally rigid and joyless, rarely talking and I have zero desire to go out anywhere ever.
I could use some input.
In 2010 I was an ISFJ; my preferences were Introversion (56%), Sensing (1%), Feeling (1%), Judging (33%).
Presently, INFJ: Introversion (100%), Intuition (62%), Feeling (25%), Judging (11%)
Things were really going well back in 2010, and they had been for several years... but things went downhill after I started becoming more and more obsessive and perfectionistic. My insomnia was CRIPPLING... I kept a sleep log to try and keep track of it, and on average I was sleeping about 22% the recommended amount over the course of 8 months. It was last April that I guess all of the stress I was under and the physical toll prolonged sleep deprivation and significant under-nutrition took on my physical and mental health finally became too much and I literally collapsed. I had to leave my job (which was my obsession... I'm a pathological workaholic) and my independence and was forced to move in with my parents. That was the tipping point, really... see, my dad was suffering from what we know now was Lewy-body dementia with additional complications from Alzheimer's, but at the time it was undiagnosable.
So, I spent the summer being insane and depressed... mood swings, still a lot of sleep disturbances and insomnia, I gained a lot of weight, I developed this wicked writer's block that was probably the most difficult thing for me, and I never had any way to escape. My dad was homebound and my mom was the caretaker, so it was always loud and I could never be alone and holy crap it was hell. Long story short, he passed away in February and I've been trying to move on. I'm working to understand why my writer's block is still so overwhelming, and why I can't seem to connect or get out of this funk. I still have the tendency to obsess and I absolutely cannot stop researching anything, ever. I'll stay up for days just reading and reading and reading, and I can't stop myself and I can never understand why. It's when I try to make sense of my research that I realize how much time I've wasted absorbing myself in so much information that I can't get a grasp on it all.
What I can't seem to understand is how my personality managed to shift preferences SO significantly in such a short amount of time. Ultimately I'd like to get back to being more stable and happy, less obsessive and DEFINITELY LESS INTROVERTED. I want to have some sort of balance, but I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. I have no idea how to communicate anymore, and while I used to be extremely sociable and optimistic, I'm now a total hermit and I'm generally rigid and joyless, rarely talking and I have zero desire to go out anywhere ever.
I could use some input.