I'm scared | INFJ Forum

I'm scared

SarahBS

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Apr 10, 2015
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visited a therapist today. Told me to meet a psychiatrist to see if I need medical treatment.

now I know I have depression and I had a lot recently but this was too much and I'm so scared I cannot think of continuing the process.
I guess I'm getting more depressed facing the fact that I'm depressed :(
 
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visited a therapist today. Told me to meet a psychiatrist to see if I need medical treatment.

now I know I have depression and I had a lot recently but this was too much and I'm so scared I cannot think of continuing the process.
I guess I'm getting more depressed facing the fact that I'm depressed :(

Talk to your doctor, see if there are alternative routes instead of just medicating. Sometimes just therapy alone can help in tremendous ways. But, don't fear anything. Your depression is something you are going through, but not something that will define you as a human being. We all have the strength in us to battle what life throws at us and I know you can overcome this. It is just another chapter in the book of your life.

You have our support here and I hope a support system in RL as well. Be selfish, and take care of yourself first. <3
 
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Talk to your doctor, see if there are alternative routes instead of just medicating. Sometimes just therapy alone can help in tremendous ways. But, don't fear anything. Your depression is something you are going through, but not something that will define you as a human being. We all have the strength in us to battle what life throws at us and I know you can overcome this. It is just another chapter in the book of your life.

You have our support here and I hope a support system in RL as well. Be selfish, and take care of yourself first. <3

The thing is I've never liked the idea of talking to a therapist.I consider myself as a psycho talking to them.and the way they behave to you is exactly like one.
I have a bad feeling talking and crying in front of a person who doesn't really care what's going on and what they truly care is money.
I think I won't go there again.I had a lot in mind and being crazy has just been added there :|
 
If your fear is to talk infront of "a professional", who "not really cares", then I suggest you tell them this.
I prefer talk to friends, but you'll eventually find out "professionals" have their benefits. What you say will have no impact on your relationship with them.
 
I think you first have to stop believing you are "crazy" if you're going to truly get the help you need. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to getting help. If you focus too much on their motives, you may lose out on getting the assistance you need. Sometimes, when we're in a low place, it's easier and even more comforting to stay there in that feeling of emotions, rather than focus on getting out of it. You have to be willing to do the work to get the help and or treatment you need if you want to get out of that depressive mood eventually. It's not an overnight process, nor does it go away after simply talking to a therapist.

Therapists are not responsible for our state of minds. They can only use what they have learned and experienced to help us as best they can. They are human, not gods. One thing that I can assure you is that if you continue to withdraw into yourself, and not seek help or assistance, your depression will get worse. Loneliness and withdrawal will only feed those feelings of sorrow and self pity. Many of us here have been there and are going through it. So, you're not alone. Many of us struggle with it with varying degrees.

First thing to realize is not to feel bad or guilty about it. That will hurt or make it worse. No need to feel as if something is wrong with you for being depressed. You're only human, and it's normal. You don't have to be going through major issues or life altering events to have depression. Sometimes, our minds just don't work as well as they should, and our realities don't match up with what's going on inside our heads.

Next, find something constant, as an anchor, that can you can use to keep you grounded as you go through this. Depression has the tendency to make you feel uneven and unbalanced. One minute you're up, and another you're down. It's inconsistent feelings or emotions. So, having something to help you take the edge off those mood swings is important. Having at least one friend you can vent to is also important.

Then, allow yourself some time to get adjusted to the idea of working with a professional. Don't dismiss therapy so quickly. It's not supposed to an overnight cure all. If nothing else, use it to get thoughts and feelings out that you may have been bottling up inside. You don't necessarily need to have a personal connection with your therapist to get something out your experience with them. If you're not comfortable with their approach, express how you feel to the therapist, and tell them what you think you need or want from therapy. But don't try to handle being depressed on your own.
 
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The thing is I've never liked the idea of talking to a therapist.I consider myself as a psycho talking to them.and the way they behave to you is exactly like one.
I have a bad feeling talking and crying in front of a person who doesn't really care what's going on and what they truly care is money.
I think I won't go there again.I had a lot in mind and being crazy has just been added there :|

Like in any job that works so closely with people, there are people who yes, want money, but there are also many people who actually care about helping others. If you decide to go to a therapist on a consistent basis make sure you find someone who you like. It might take a few tries to find someone you are comfortable talking to, but don't disregard the entire idea of therapy because of one bad therapist. A good therapist won't make you feel like a psycho but will be relatable, kind, and help you feel comfortable. Granted you probably won't feel comfortable right away, but it should get easier as you go. Being depressed definitely doesn't make you a psycho or crazy so you can put those thoughts aside. Being depressed does mean you're going to want some help. Maybe therapy is right for you or maybe it's not. You'll have to decide what is ultimately best for you. That might mean overcoming some initial anxiety over seeing a therapist or telling a close friend or family member about how you've been feeling. Because that might do you a lot of good even if you're initially very worried and anxious about it. As [MENTION=1669]Gist[/MENTION] said, don't expect therapy to solve all your problems at once; it's a process. In fact, therapy in and of itself doesn't solve anything, but how you interact and respond to the therapy can. You might be surprised at how good it feels to let it out. Even if what the therapist says is useless, talking about it might help you to process your thoughts and feelings more effectively.
 
Choosing the face a fact or not doesn't change it's existence (or lack thereof).

I know it's easier said than done, but better to face it; denying it doesn't change that you may be depressed. Facing it can get you help.
 
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The mind can do amazing things. We can tell ourselves things and believe them whether they are real or not. Then get caught up in the lie so much we forget what the real truth ever was.
Sometimes it takes another person to grab hold of us and shake us around a bit mentally to jar us out of it.
The first thing you need to do is relax. There is nothing wrong with seeking help from others to get a different perspective. I do it all the time with my family and friends because I recognize tbat I will always be bias toward myself and the way I think. Sometimes though a person can get off the path enough to where friends and family just do not have the vocabulary or tools to help.
You know learning about Carl Jung and mbti has had such a tremendous effect on my life. I only began looking though because I recognized that looking at the world as I was simply was not productive or healthy. I recognized I needed help outside of what I already thought I knew. Had I never accepted that I would be far worse off. Sometimes people just need answers they dont already have and cant get on their own. So dont think anything negative in asking for help. Everyone does it, they lucky ones get it.
 
If you are uncomfortable with a particular therapist, you can look for another.
There is no "shame" in seeing a therapist. Please do not be too hard on yourself--and best of luck to you!
 
all I got from that therapy session was feeling a strong hate . I hate myself so badly I can't think of any positive thing about myself.
loneliness is too much to bear these days ...
I finally figured out why I listen to rock music all these time. It makes me strong and don't think about the fact that I'm too lonely.All other genre sings about love and that's one thing I've never experienced, not in my family nor in my love life.Those songs always make me cry.even rock does these days ...
All I can think of to get home after work that gives me a little positive energy is here! a virtual place to talk... some people I don't even know ... and it hurts so deep inside ...
 
all I got from that therapy session was feeling a strong hate . I hate myself so badly I can't think of any positive thing about myself.
loneliness is too much to bear these days ...
I finally figured out why I listen to rock music all these time. It makes me strong and don't think about the fact that I'm too lonely.All other genre sings about love and that's one thing I've never experienced, not in my family nor in my love life.Those songs always make me cry.even rock does these days ...
All I can think of to get home after work that gives me a little positive energy is here! a virtual place to talk... some people I don't even know ... and it hurts so deep inside ...

*hugs* :hug: You absolutely should not hate yourself for this. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to accept that you need help and the strength to go searching for it. If you can't think of anything positive about yourself, maybe it would help to call up a family member or friend and ask them what they think your personal strengths are. I hope there is someone you can talk to about it because it would probably really help you. I've noticed that a lot of the loneliness and isolation people (myself included) experience is at least partially self-inflicted (i.e.from not being more open with others).

Keep at it. Don't stop trying to get the help you need. If rock music helps you feel less lonely, then listen to rock music.

Maybe next time will go better, or maybe it would be apt to get a different therapist. Did you tell the therapist how talking made you feel? Of course talking about all the negative things and your depression isn't going to make you feel very happy afterwards. It was only the first session so don't lose hope yet.
 
In a blog, just post about your feelings, despite how horrible it may feel or how weird it may seem. Just find a way to get your thoughts and feelings out, and DON'T BE ASHAMED, as @INFJ16 as already said. We're here for you. You're not alone.I remember, sometimes when I feel not so great, I take silly quizzes like the ones on www.blogthings.com and post the results to my blog. Although I'm not always comfortable thinking about the positives of my personality, the always positive and optimistic results of these tests always make me feel better. They give me adjectives and descriptions that I use to look into who I am, to see something good, even if the results are generic. I also post a ton of pics or video clips to my blog, reflecting how I feel, my state of mind at the moment, and I can't tell you how much this helps. When I can't talk or express myself to anyone, finding some kind of artistic outlet helps to express those feelings indirectly.
 
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[MENTION=13542]SarahBS[/MENTION]

As someone who has struggled a lot with depression (having been diagnosed by multiple doctors and therapists with it), spent over 2.5 years in therapy (and counting), and seen a psychiatrist for 2 years (working on seeing another), I just want to say that this isn't something to be afraid of. Having depression as a medical condition is not like having a virus or something. Treatment is entirely your show. You're always the expert on yourself. You don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with when it comes to therapy and medication, and if you're even 5% unsure about it, that is enough reason to not do it.

So if you don't like what the therapist is doing, you don't have to do that type of therapy or even continue seeing them. The same is true with drugs. If you don't like how a drug affects you, have the doctor take you off it. I was young (like 15 or so) when I first sought help, and I was terrified then. Because I was so afraid, I ended up just doing what the doctor and therapist said unquestioningly and had a horrible potentially life-ruining experience as a result. The psychiatrist gave me really high doses of drugs and told me I would need to be on them for a very long time in spite of how terrible they made me feel. If the drugs aren't working, chances are that high doses or taking them for longer isn't going to help. And it might just be that they're covering up a deeper issue that caused the depression in the first place since depression always has a cause. The therapist did crazy things as part of our therapy sessions.

Millions and millions of people are diagnosed with depression. It is extremely common. Anti-depressants are the second most prescribed type of drug in this country. I know that there is a huge stigma that comes with the label of clinical depression, but try to keep it mind that it is not this rare horrific disease like they try to make it out to be. You're not mentally ill as a result of meeting the diagnostic criteria for depression. Because so many people experience it, I think it is basically a normal reaction to the times we live in and a fairly normal human experience. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything about it. We live in a country that heavily stigmatizes people getting help for mental health issues, but try to keep in mind that the stigma and all the terror that comes with it is very far from reality.

You can totally beat the depression. Certainly don't let any shame over society's view of it get you down.
 
The thing is I've never liked the idea of talking to a therapist.I consider myself as a psycho talking to them.and the way they behave to you is exactly like one.
I have a bad feeling talking and crying in front of a person who doesn't really care what's going on and what they truly care is money.
I think I won't go there again.I had a lot in mind and being crazy has just been added there :|

You're not crazy if you're depressed or talking to a therapist. If the therapist treats you like you're crazy just for that, then they're a terrible therapist, and you should find another one. If they don't really seem concerned about you or seem to just want money, then again, they're just a terrible therapist and you should find another one.
 
all I got from that therapy session was feeling a strong hate . I hate myself so badly I can't think of any positive thing about myself.
loneliness is too much to bear these days ...
I finally figured out why I listen to rock music all these time. It makes me strong and don't think about the fact that I'm too lonely.All other genre sings about love and that's one thing I've never experienced, not in my family nor in my love life.Those songs always make me cry.even rock does these days ...
All I can think of to get home after work that gives me a little positive energy is here! a virtual place to talk... some people I don't even know ... and it hurts so deep inside ...

It can be easy to try to attempt to mask depression with feelings of anger. Anger can burn through you and deplete you in a short period of time whereas depression generally is a bit more low key and chronic, where it creeps up and it slowly takes your life away from you.

Did the therapy session trigger self hatred or it just made you address that the self hatred was already there? Is there a source for it?

Additionally, do they want you to see a psychiatrist to get medicated to take the edge off so you can combine medical therapy with CBT? I doubt they're going to overdoes you with Lithium or something like that.
 
[MENTION=11884]INFJ16[/MENTION], [MENTION=834]Dragon[/MENTION] [MENTION=1669]Gist[/MENTION]
Thank you all for you warm words

I really had bad feelings when I talked to the therapist.actually I wanted to talk to her about my career. I wanted her to help me choose.but suddenly she asked about my past and I was very vulnerable talking about them.Brought back lots of painful memory.

Talked to me in a very straight blunt way that made me uncomfortable.Guess I was being insulted by the way she talked. she said it was not about the job at tall and that it was all about my loneliness that was dragging me down.that I had no friends at all.told me to go to swimming pool once or twice

Well, the thing is I know my hobbies! I know what make me feel better! I have no friends? well I have a best one and some more who I can talk to and go out with whenever I want.I've lost some on them altogether recently cuz I had to quit the job and that doesn't mean to rush to the swimming pool to find any quickly! My hobbies are not gathering with my friends saying nonsense! It's spending some quality time with some few! It's not going to swimming pool for God's sake.

told her I didn't have a real relationship at all and she said I was too scared to give it a try cuz I afraid of future and it shouldn't be like that at all. well I don't trust people easily.Is it this bad to start medical treatment? Told her that my parents asks me questions when I wanna go out and because of the fact that they don't want me to have a boyfriend (which I know it's not sth normal but it is in my country) I don't wanna be just a random guy's girlfriend cuz I don't wanna lie to my parents.And she said it was ok to lie cuz I had no other choice.well I know that prb is not normal anyway but lying wouldn't do much.

So I had a lot of bad feeling about her and I won't go there again.
I guess all I need is a good progressive job, some friends and hobbies and someone to be with ( which I shouldn't rush to find)
and I don't need her consultant :|
 
Did the therapy session trigger self hatred or it just made you address that the self hatred was already there? Is there a source for it?

Additionally, do they want you to see a psychiatrist to get medicated to take the edge off so you can combine medical therapy with CBT? I doubt they're going to overdoes you with Lithium or something like that.
Well I was getting better and I was happy , learning how to love myself and loving my loneliness! and suddenly when I talked to her I had lots and lots of bad feelings about myself beside the hatred.
She told me to go there to check if I need any medical treatment but I feel like I'm better and I don't need any.
I attended an interview today - a school-and I was accepted. It's one of the best school in my county and I have two part time job at the moment which I love.So I think I'll be able to mange myself without that therapist
 
The only thing that makes me cry most of the time is the loneliness that therapist cannot be of much help and that's a true love I've never had which makes me feel down sometimes.
 
I really had bad feelings when I talked to the therapist.actually I wanted to talk to her about my career. I wanted her to help me choose.but suddenly she asked about my past and I was very vulnerable talking about them.Brought back lots of painful memory.


It might be good to seek out either a career counselor or, better yet (since it probably wont cost you), a mentor in a field you're interested in. Think about jobs you would want, then actually talk to people who have those jobs to see what they're like. Read about them online too first.

The MBTI system was originally designed to help women find careers that fit their personality. Of course, sticking to the system is silly. My career path is supposedly best suited to the ISTJ type.

The therapist you saw sounds not very good. It sounds like she didn't listen to you and made a lot of assumptions about what you were saying. If you find a good therapist that actually listens to you, that might help. It can be difficult to find a good one though. I've known people that went through several before they found one that worked.
 
Well I was getting better and I was happy , learning how to love myself and loving my loneliness! and suddenly when I talked to her I had lots and lots of bad feelings about myself beside the hatred.
She told me to go there to check if I need any medical treatment but I feel like I'm better and I don't need any.
I attended an interview today - a school-and I was accepted. It's one of the best school in my county and I have two part time job at the moment which I love.So I think I'll be able to mange myself without that therapist

There is a song lyric that always rang true to me:
I don't want to be lonely
I just want to be alone


I have a feeling this may be something a lot of emotionally sensitive introverts feel... But it takes work to balance time alone with feeling lonely and finding the types of relationships that you can feel fulfilled in without it compromising your needs. It sounds like you either have too much time by yourself or you haven't found enough people to connect with.

I can understanding forging predominantly online relationships - I think that is why a lot of us gravitated to the forum and why many of us have stayed. I went through periods where I found it difficult to leave my house let alone have meaningful face to face relationships. It was easier and more comforting to have relationships that were intellectual and slightly emotional as opposed to going to the effort of being with people in person. But now that I have more of an active social life I am seeing how detrimental it was to me during those times to avoid the company of other people - even if we didn't connect on a deeper level. Sometimes it is refreshing to get the more up front aspects of socializing. Don't forget that you are a human being with psychological needs - one of those being a social life - even if it feels superficial at first.

It may be that you don't need medical treatment in the sense that you don't need to be medicated but I would argue you need to figure out what is keeping you locked into pixels instead of actual people.