I knew this drink tasted kind of sweet... | INFJ Forum

I knew this drink tasted kind of sweet...

Saru Inc

Schrödinger's Pussy
Donor
Sep 13, 2010
3,861
1,169
0
MBTI
ENFJ
Enneagram
3w4
Ok, so you've been married to your significant other for 35 years. You've had a great marriage/arrangement/civil contract/platonic/friend sexing/whateveryouwannacallit relationship, and you never thought you could have loved someone so much.


One of the things you love so much about your *insert politically correct title here* is how he/she/it comes up with ways to surprise you! In fact, just two months ago you both decided that on Friday nights, you're going to watch your favorite show/movie/documentary/public television/infomercial/porno while having a nice drink.

Today, as you are going through your significant others stuff, looking for your sock, you notice a bottle. In that bottle is blue liquid. You're not quite sure what it is, so you google it. (Don't argue with this part) you find out that your significant other has been slowly slipping in antifreeze as well as other poisonous chemicals into your drinks every friday night. This is not only shocking and hurtful, but also problematic, as tonight is friday night.

What do you do? Confront them? Drink the drink anyways, but then hop town? Murder them? Murder yourself? Play sick? Play moody? Call the cops?


I'd personally switch the drink when he isn't looking. Then I'd call the cops. :) (oh yeah, then I'd go to the hosp, because I've been drinking poisonous liquids for an extended amount of time)



Also: you are allowed to lie. If you would normally just drink it, because you're too ashamed to tell them "hi pls dont kill me" you're allowed to go bad ass and murder them with a sledgehammer.

edit: also incase you're ignorant, antifreeze has a sweet taste to it. But is obviously poisonous.
 
Normally, I would say in most situations confronting the person is the best idea. However, the person in this scenario is extremely calculating and sneaky, if they would go to such lengths to poison me slow, and that changes the game.
The minute I became suspicious something was going on I would find a way to seem like I'm drinking it without doing so. Like grabbing the drink and going to the kitchen and saying "I need some more ice." Then, once in the kitchen, dump the drink (into a container so I can get it analyzed later. I would save the glass with their finger prints as well) and get myself an identical, but not full of poison, replacement. Then I would join my hypothetical lover and finish our date pretending to know nothing. Meanwhile, I would work on proving without a doubt I was being poisoned by getting the sample analyzed. I would probably bring it right to the police and file a report. The ideal ending to this story would be me going for another Friday date night armed to the teeth with proof and a wire and the police discretely hiding in an unmarked van on the curb. (this may not be very realistic but...this is how it plays out in my mind.) Then, I would confront the person. And the confrontation would be recorded (hence the wire) and observed by the police who are waiting outside. I would show them the lab report and how I have proof and explain to them that they are pretty much backed into a corner and up shit's creek without a paddle. So, they may as well admit it. And then, they would admit it...or maybe deny it. or maybe try to physically harm me...but either way that's when the police would come in.
And that would be the end of that.
And it wouldn't matter how long I'd been with them or how much I loved them if someone is going to try to poison me. I'm going to make sure they pay for that.
 
at what point do you take a sledgehammer to their head, though?
 
I'll tell you what I do.


I leave that bastard.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Saru Inc
Definitely fake an extremely tragic accident and pretend to be in a coma, confronting my significant he/she/it at the most dramatic moment to reveal the undercover investigation I was secretly managing while pretending to be comatose!
Except without looking heroic :m100:
I'd just come up with a lie or problem that gets me out of drinking anti-freeze and get the police all up in her business.
 
Oh my I couldn't help but laugh at the being ashamed part. But yeah I would have to let the law handle this one. No revenge, just justice. But what is the motive? If I didn't know, being neurotic, would probably spend the rest of my life with some kinda complex as to why someone would do that to me.
 
at what point do you take a sledgehammer to their head, though?
Never. It would be far more satisfy to know that they are rotting in prison than to murder them.
 
Never. It would be far more satisfy to know that they are rotting in prison than to murder them.

Hmmmm.


This thread has saddened my expectations. We all now how vengeful NFs can get.


I would totally go like this

"hey babe."

"hey babe."

"have you ever tasted antifreeze before?"

"No....?"

"Do you want to?"

"Sam, I'm scared."


At that point I grab out my rope that I hid in my pants.

I then tie them down.

"BITCH THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!!!!!!"

As I get them to swallow a gallon of antifreeze. Then I untie them, kiss them, and move on.

THATS WHATCHU GET.

Overall though, if they lived past that scenario, I would totally keep on living with them.
 
Hmmmm.


This thread has saddened my expectations. We all now how vengeful NFs can get.


I would totally go like this

"hey babe."

"hey babe."

"have you ever tasted antifreeze before?"

"No....?"

"Do you want to?"

"Sam, I'm scared."


At that point I grab out my rope that I hid in my pants.

I then tie them down.

"BITCH THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!!!!!!"

As I get them to swallow a gallon of antifreeze. Then I untie them, kiss them, and move on.

THATS WHATCHU GET.

Overall though, if they lived past that scenario, I would totally keep on living with them.

Oh that is so twisted, why is Eminem coming to mind?
 
Ahahaha. Because that sounds like one of his songs probably.



I'm being serious though, I would exact whatever revenge I felt necessary, then move on with our relationshp. That hill is over, no point in going back.
 
If someone messes with me my desire for revenge is moderate. If someone messes with someone I care about...that's a whole different story. Then I can become really vengeful.
But revenge takes a lot of energy. And in the end seeking it out just ends up destroying you emotionally and attracting a lot of negative energy to yourself. This is why in my scenario I chose justice over revenge.
 
Ahahaha. Because that sounds like one of his songs probably.



I'm being serious though, I would exact whatever revenge I felt necessary, then move on with our relationshp. That hill is over, no point in going back.

Maybe the media really does have effects on folks these days... :p So exact revenge, forgive and forget and stay with that person? I guess there is nothing really wrong with that if that is your choice, just do it a little less Eminemishly! Say that word out loud.
 
it's friday right?

i'd wait until we were together and get the drink then throw it in his/her face. as i threw the glass in his/her face i would say something to the effect of, "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" i'd try to keep a little in the glass to have it analyzed then i'd call the cops. if he/she tries to kill me right then and there...may the best man/woman win.
 
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn....

Me?
hmm.
Two ways; with the most drama or not.

No drama: secretly go to the hospital to get checked / treated, then ask for police's help. Then secretly find a motive behind my lover's actions. For example, whether it is his or someone else's intention, or whether it's grudge, greed, or simply a kinkier ways of playing, or maybe he knows there's another danger lurking behind me and thus decides to slowly poison me...? Then, depending on the reason, I could confront the true culprit, leave the lover and run away, or both. I think my trust with the lover would be almost gone *unless he gives a plausible reason, for which...it would enter the drama realm*. Secretly think what have I done and why did I end up in this predicament.

Full drama: do the above together with the lover. :| with lawyers. And media involved. Preferably with a Lifetime movie and reality shows offer behind, together with Witness Protection Act.

Full horror : Why bring sledgehammer when I can just bring....other smaller stuffs? It's more fun that way. Never watch Audition? (No, I never.) *smirks*
 
Ahahaha. Because that sounds like one of his songs probably.



I'm being serious though, I would exact whatever revenge I felt necessary, then move on with our relationshp. That hill is over, no point in going back.
I can't see myself ever going back to the relationship afterwards. Airing out dirty laundry in front of the wrong people can be a breach of trust, getting poisoned? There would always be that lingering thought for me that this might be happening again.
 
I would throw the largest pie I could find at the wall, that's what I'd do.
 
I would throw the largest pie I could find at the wall, that's what I'd do.

I presume you would then go and consume said drink?
 
I presume you would then go and consume said drink?
No. I would exclaim: "You got served!" And then pour myself a poison free drink of Ketel One. From there, I would retire to my study where I would sit behind my antique mahogany desk and put on my favorite Bel Biv Devoe album.
 
This thread disturbs me.
 
Is lauren trying to kill you saru? is that what this is about?
Blink twice for yes. Once for no.