I feel completely detached from this world. | INFJ Forum

I feel completely detached from this world.

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by H8s7e1LKOp9, Nov 29, 2009.

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  1. H8s7e1LKOp9

    H8s7e1LKOp9 Regular Poster

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    This might be the wrong forum and I am probably typing way too much for anyone to care about... sorry about that. I need to vent and if someone will listen that is cool, otherwise move along!

    I am an introvert but can turn on the extrovert switch when I need / want to. So lately I've been feeling more and more and more detached from the world. I am an atheist, first of all. I think that there have been an infinite number of worlds with an infinite amount of intelligent civilizations. I think that they're all meaningless and just part of a cycle with no purpose at all.

    This is pretty depressing but I feel that it is reality. I think that humans created God as a reason to survive, because we're too intelligent to live simply on instinct. I think that God and religion of all kinds are simply a human creation.

    I feel like there is no reason to live because life sucks and then you die. I am not suicidal and this is not a cry for help. I will stay alive simply because I don't want to hurt those who love me. My existence, however, is a very sad one.

    I've had great friends, girlfriends, and I even have a daughter. I feel like it is all meaningless. Humans get happiness from being social, but social relationships don't do anything for me. It seems like when I'm alone for an extended period of time, I miss people, and when I'm with people, I miss being alone. I'm in the military and move around a lot. It seems like every place I move to is worse and worse, I'm constantly missing the places I was at before my current place. I feel like I'm in a constant state of unhappiness.

    I feel like I am not even a part of this world. I don't care about people or places. I have been all over the world at this point, 6/7 continents, 22 countries, had all sorts of friends and girlfriends. I feel like I've experienced a great deal of what the world has to offer and think that it's all the same.

    I know that it might be easy to criticize me for not being attached to my daughter, but it's how I feel. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me and since I'm in the military I can't move close to my daughter. As a result, I have seen my daughter for a few days every 6 months and that makes becoming attached to her very difficult. She is being raised by her mom's new boyfriend and I feel like she will consider him his Dad more than anyone. I feel like I'm only her Dad by technicality.

    I honestly want to die. Not enough to kill myself or do anything regrettable, just hopelessly depressed. I feel like getting a bunch of coke or meth or heroin or whatever could make me happy, but I think the happiness I would get from any of that would just make the rest of my life even worse. What the fuck can I possibly do to not feel like this anymore?

    And don't tell me to find God. I really can't lie to myself and start believing in any sort of God.
     
    #1 H8s7e1LKOp9, Nov 29, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2009
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  2. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    I hear ya. Existential hopelessness, I've been there too. Don't know what advice to give you though, I think it's something we've all got to figure out for ourselves. Just know that what you're going through is pretty common, even though it may not seem like it. Maybe you could take up a creative hobby, like music or art. Art's helped me more times than I can count, perhaps it will do the same for you. Good luck my friend.
     
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  3. floatingbridge

    floatingbridge Life's a ride
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    have you tried go to a doctor? I know your not suicidal...

    Way to escape problem Being completely detached from this world, means to face the exact opposite. Attach yourself to the real world. a.k.a tell all what you just said to a real person :) gd luck.
     
  4. OP
    H8s7e1LKOp9

    H8s7e1LKOp9 Regular Poster

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    I've tried! The psychiatrist I saw has prescribed me with Adderall which is nice but a solution to only one of many of the issues I have.
     
  5. floatingbridge

    floatingbridge Life's a ride
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    hahaha :) Adderall? never heard of it...:D
     
  6. OP
    H8s7e1LKOp9

    H8s7e1LKOp9 Regular Poster

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    It's ADHD medication... which I have, but wasn't even the reason I went to the psychiatrist. I went to the psychiatrist because I was depressed. He didn't seem to care. He was really into the fact that I mentioned having ADHD.
     
  7. floatingbridge

    floatingbridge Life's a ride
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    change psychiatrist
     
  8. ForABetterTomorrow

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    *Part* of your problem is an error in philosophy (see below). As many make this kind of error there are probably other (organic) causes for your current mood.
    Try to stay active, do sports and try to eat healthy. Do whatever your mood does "tell" you not to do (e.g. take part in social life, do sports, enjoy yourself etc.).
    Also check for food intolerances, the gut is our "second brain", if one feels bad the other feels bad, too. A large number of depressions are caused by wrong food (gluten, milk, fruit sugar, histamine... there are a whole number of causes...). It would be a shame if all you had to do to become active again was to change your diet. Also check for exampe your thyroid.

    Here is one of your errors.

    You are asking an abstract question, you are asking for the "meaning of life". But just because you can ask that question doesn't mean that there is an answer (or that it *means* something that there is no answer). Just think of the question "Why was yesterday a Thursday?" (with today being Sunday). The question is pointless and leads to nothing.

    Words have to be defined before you can use them. What is the definition of "meaning"?
    It is commonly used in the sense of "being beneficial to life".

    So what you're saying that life is not beneficial to life, which is a contradiction. Life is not meaningless by definition :)

    Thinking about such pointless questions of course leads to emotional emptyness (or the other way around, I don't know).

    There is a lot of meaning in our lives. You stand up in the morning and have a good breakfast and do some exercise. Why? Because it is beneficial to our life :)

    I hope you get my point.

    PS: I'm an atheist as well :) Maybe you *do* look for something "higher", i.e. something which can't be explained with words, something with no connection to reality. But as an atheist you should recognize that language is connected with reality. It only makes sense to use words that can be properly defined.

    Second, but unrelated, error. We do not die. We are not there when we die, we *always* live. Epicurus wrote a good essay on that.

    Well, they love you, what you do, how you *act*, they don't love your passivity. You don't do them a favor by living just for them. Live for yourself, fulfill your dreams and they will love you for presenting their ideals.

    I think that's a misconception, I think it's the other way around. People who are happy want to socialize with others.

    Many people *identify* themselves with their group or idol. Just think of "fans" and "hooligans". the group is happy then are happy. They look for someone to lead them, which points to a low self-esteem and little source of happiness of their own. True happiness comes from within :)
     
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  9. OP
    H8s7e1LKOp9

    H8s7e1LKOp9 Regular Poster

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    Wow, great post. Thank you.
     
  10. sookie

    On Holiday

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    I was really moved by your experiences. I live in the Northeast and moved to North Carolina for a year. It was so unsettling to be so far away from where I grew up, the places that I was used to, my family, and friends.

    Your post made me wonder about this as it pertains to your situation. I wonder if, since you have moved around so much that you feel so ungrounded so to speak. It must be unsettling to always be in new places with people that you do not have deep meaning ful connections with. I used to feel the same way in terms of wanting to be alone when I am with a group, and wanting to be in a group when I am alone.


    I identified with you post. I am in my 40's. I have to tell you that I found being in my 20's to be very difficult and even painful. Now that I am older I have settled down quite a bit, I know myself more, I trust my judgement more, I am more comfortable in my own skin.

    I hoping that you push a little and get someone to talk to like a therapist. If you get a good one it can really help quite a bit.

    I have ADD too and that really does complicate life further. It did for me anyways.
     
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  11. Tamagochi

    Tamagochi Sushi Destroyer
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    You know, before modern psychiatry and the term depression came into existence, this state of mind was called melancholia by ancient greeks. At the heart of it is inability to love: self, other people, ideas, countries, God. Religion is not about believing in supernatural, it's about believing in love - that's why you might feel a strong repulsion to it.

    When you're in such a state it's like a darkness descends upon your world. Other people become objects that you acquire, use and dispose of. Sadness and despair are the only feelings that arise and there's no warmth, no comfort in them.

    It was said that a cure to melancholia is to think of the way to unconditionally love someone and then do it. It can be a very small thing at first - like helping a random stranger on the street without expecting anything in return. Light comes from other people.
     
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  12. sookie

    On Holiday

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    I realized something. I think that you may feel this way because you are an Introvert. I wonder how high your score is. Dont post your score. Just think about it. Is your score for the I very high or not. If it is high it explains why you feel so disconnected from other people. I think. I dont know if others have any thoughts on this.
     
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  13. Grasshopper

    Grasshopper Community Member

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    I struggle with a similar problem, feeling like my life is meaningless and has no purpose and I am going nowhere. This is despite the fact that unlike you, I do believe in God. Anyway, what I do is try to live in the moment, which is a very difficult thing to do but can make life so much easier if you can master it. For me that means that I spend my time doing things I enjoy right now, for example, writing this at this moment gets me out of my own head, and hopefully I can say something that might help someone else. I think that living to help other people is the most important way that I give myself purpose. So I just try to be right here right now, not in the past or the future, and do something that makes me feel good or even just makes life manageable.

    I try not to have to have things to look forward to but it helps me get through the days. I really enjoy spending time with the people that are close to me, perhaps more than anything else, so I like to have plans to meet people. Even if I don't go through with those plans 'as planned' just knowing there is something ahead of me can be a life saver.
     
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    #13 Grasshopper, Nov 29, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2009
  14. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    hi Kamelakbar,

    I completely now how you feel. I feel this also a lot. I get up, go to work, eat, go to sleep every day and there seems no point in it, life seems so empty! I have also been searching for the meaning of life and sometimes I found it to lose it again. But what really helps is to accept. This is hard to explain but I'll try! I don't have to wonder why I live, I live and I accept that. And by doing that I don't have to question everything, I don't have to question the meaning of my life, the quality of my life, I don't have to try to improve my life. It just is the way it is. And by accepting that, there comes a deep feeling of peace and freedom. It gives me rest. And after that comes the acknowledgement that I can do whatever I want to. Since life has no meaning and I don't have to live up to certain expectations, my life is like an empty sheet. I can do with it whatever I want, I can experience whatever I want, feel whatever I want, I can feel joy and depression, sadness and love, life is a game ... come out to play!!


    I hope this can help a bit!!!



    and ForABetterTomorrow, If you are still deciding weather you are an F or a T, today you are definitely T :becky:
     
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  15. Grasshopper

    Grasshopper Community Member

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    Well put. I know of a reading that says acceptance is the answer to all our problems. Knowing that life means nothing you really can't take life too seriously either - it really is just a game.
     
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  16. illi

    illi Regular Poster

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    Kind of off topic but I just thought that interesting. I've a tendency to go long periods of time without seeing anyone more than my brother and mum. Too long and I tend to get into a bit of a funk, as soon as I go out with my friends I'm absolutely high as a kite haha.

    Maybe it varies from person to person?
     
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