I can't seem to Breathe | INFJ Forum

I can't seem to Breathe

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Naxx, Feb 17, 2009.

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  1. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    My passions keep me wanting more and in the same I'm never satisfied. Although I do experience feelings of happiness I rarely feel at peace or free myself.

    It often gets very tiring being this strong person who people know me to be. I know people think of me in times of hardship and as a symbol of hope, purity and unrelenting loyalty to ideals. Life becomes inhuman and rather lonely and hard to relate and connect.

    I have friends and many dear but the relationships are more often than not a one way street. When I tell them of my sorrows and pains and they know not of what to think or say.

    Sometimes I just want a break, I don't always want to be the warrior.
     
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    Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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  3. Silently Honest

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    *Thread moved.*
     
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  4. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    Haha, oh you sound quite like me :hug:. What I have learned is setting a few small short term goals really helps out alot.
     
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  5. Jess

    Jess Newbie

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    Yeah I know exactly how u feel! :D
     
  6. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
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    Yeah, I know what you mean. I have many friends who I understand and support, but they just don't get me at all (and of course can't support me either). It feels very much like a one-way street. It really sucks, but I don't know what to do about it...
     
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  7. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Naxx--- my goodness, you have said EXACTLY what has been paining me the past few months. I too, am seen as the pure, strong, optimist, who is "perfect" and because i'm so called "perfect", i'm never sad.

    I've realized that i've been given a gift of giving---that's because i've got a lot to give. I feel like it must be the same way for you... So it's impulse for me. When someone is in need, or even if someone tells me "oh, i'm ok", I tend to ask them over and over again, "Are you sure? I'm sure there's been something on your mind..."

    I'm a strong person and I know that. Stronger than most with a great conviction and belief of good. That makes it almost always the case that i'm the one picking others up. It's exhausting, but I cannot help it. But of course, being an infj is very difficult because we are so feeling and intuitive. So I get hurt and affected easily too...I always always wished there could be a hero for me. Someone who can hold me physically and tell me things I never thought about---amaze me, make me feel like everything will be ok, protect me.

    But like you, people don't seem to know what to say because I have more than they do. I am the one with the capacity to tell someone everything will be ok and reason with it. But there never really seems to be someone like that for me either. It's a gift and a blessing. But I am so relieved to read this thread, because it gives me conviction that there are people out there like me who have the capacity to inspire me and pick me up. I hope someday I meet someone like you! :)

    Keep trudging along---people like us have it tough, but it's because we've been given something incredibly special. Embrace it...
     
  8. darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

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    Wow, well spoken.

    @yepunsarang, I kind of feel the same but opposite, I wish for someone I can physically hold and protect. Basically what you said you want for someone to be for you, I want to be for someone.

    What hurts as much as always being needed is feeling like you are never needed.

    I myself feel like I haven't tapped even 1/8 of my potential.
     
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  9. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Whoa dark star!!!!

    I think you're probably rarer than people like Naxx and I. Trust me, there are PLENTY of people who would love to meet you and receive your help. There are far more broken people who need protection than you can imagine. I'm so glad that they're someone like you out there! Be that hero!! :)

    Geez, i'm beginning to wish we could meet up! ;) Yea---I constantly feel like 1- people don't have the ability to pick me up cause they don't know what to say and usually don't have a clearer sense of identity, or strong conviction
    2- rarely have I met people who share fresh, interesting, perspectives about life that I haven't thought of.

    I feel like if I found someone with 1+2, I would never let them go! hahaha
     
    #9 yepunsarang, Feb 18, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  10. darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

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    Heh, thanks for making me feel special, I needed that. :)

    Problem is (as my astrological (can't say how much stock I put in that though) chart says) "My mothering can turn into smothering".

    My "Hero/savior" complex turns people off faster than er, something fast :p

    I really only manifest this extremely when it comes to romantic relationships.

    The happy days theme song lyric "Nothing can hold me when I hold you" fits me perfectly.
     
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  11. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    No problem darkstar!!! :)

    Ahh--I see now. I guess you're what people like to call "the overprotective one." Well, I guess I consider myself a different kinda "savior-ish" being. It's more of not really 100% constituted of emotional support. It's more of a support of the soul?? <---hmm now that sounds interesting. Ahh but yeah, relationships indeed.

    I've always heard my friends talk about their "overprotective" brothers and I always swooned. But hey, i've never had an older brother so I don't know! :)
     
  12. darkstar

    darkstar Community Member

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    No, not "overprotective" at all. Just if the one I love is hurting, I HAVE to do SOMETHING to help. And in that sense I'm like that with all my friends, mostly my female friends because guys usually don't express their emotional issues and if you try to help them with them they get all weird.

    "Support of the soul" I like that one.

    Your type is probably the "Knight in shining armor" (I assume you are female :/)
     
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  13. lazyhappy

    lazyhappy Regular Poster

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    Might I suggest a hospital XD. Lol sorry. it slipped =.-

    In all seriousness,
    I think you might be stressing youself out a tad more then you should. You should not put such labels and expectations on yourself, ie:" the strong one". Not only others but yourself will rely on you to be that person, and it hurts if such an expectation is not met. You just have to realise that we are all just fragile things. We all are weak and strong when times call for it. There is no such thing as pure strength. Sometimes we are the ones that are sick and need to be nursed... sometimes we need to be told "it's all right". You dont have to be anything, you are just putting these things on your own shoulders I think.

    maybe you should just take a breath, punch them in the face and say, "dammit! Its your damn turn!"

    Sorry if i dont make sense i ramble lik hell- its my curse of being an INTP
     
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    #13 lazyhappy, Feb 20, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2009
  14. Milon

    Milon Director of Glomps
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    I feel not-manly in admitting this, but I know that feeling very well. *Sadly nods*
     
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  15. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I soo know what you mean. This goes for me too.
     
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  16. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Want to have sex?
     
  17. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Oh that was rude, Shai. I havent spoken to you in like, what 3 months? I sort of missed you and I tried to email you and get you back. Yet the first thing you say regards sex xD

    It's good to have you back.. :D
     
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  18. VChosenOne

    VChosenOne Community Member

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    I have been feeling the same way for as long as I can remember. What else can i do but hope I wake up in the morning
     
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  19. ricco

    ricco One

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    I feel your pain. I have the same problem, and find myself mentally tired. It sucks when you can help people or listen to there issue's. But they can't understand your's. As great communicaters, its very hard to explain our problems to others. Well, at least thats the problem I have been having.
     
  20. bs98r3kjf

    bs98r3kjf Well-known member

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    You know I have the same issue. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people and supporting them. And I try to help myself but sometimes I wish I could just share my thoughts and issues with someone who would understand them. I think I'm too complicated for most people to understand and help.
     
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