How would you describe a "personal connection"? | INFJ Forum

How would you describe a "personal connection"?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 5, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 3 users.
More threads by Gaze
  1. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,768
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    How would you describe a "personal connection"?


    Whether with friend, family, partner, etc.


    What makes it so unique?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 Gaze, Sep 5, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2010
  2. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Threads:
    62
    Messages:
    6,650
    Likes Received:
    1,927
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Beep Boop
    Enneagram:
    Beep Boop
    Hmmm... When I consider the personal connections I've made, I usually picture a little hand coming out from my heart and grabbing on to someone else's. I feel like there is a literal bond there. I very, very rarely feel this towards other people. It's happened only a couple of times in my entire life. I don't know how to describe the physical feeling of it though. It's like a hot flash in the center of my chest the second I realize a bond has just been made.

    Usually to me that means there's a deep, mutual understanding of each other when you realize you're on the complete same wavelength. I don't have this with family, I have this with almost no friends, and maybe a small handful of people that I feel romantically connected to.

    It's unique because it's more than about interacting with someone. It's sharing with someone. It's like there is a permeability in each of your souls where information and feelings (not necessarily romantic either) between the people just flow.

    I wish I could put you in my head so you could see it the way I do in my mind, but for now this will have to do.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Morgain and Gaze like this.
  3. acd

    acd Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Threads:
    143
    Messages:
    15,117
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    33,349
    Trophy Points:
    1,377
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sp/sx
    I'd describe it like seeing a pleasing landscape, someplace you'd like to stay.
    Or maybe it's like pulling up to your home after a tiresome day.
    (I'm not being corny and making a little rhyme there. That just happened.)

    There are people who tax my reserves, and then there are people who I seem to have much more energy for.. in fact, seeing them and being with them energizes me.
    That's how I'd describe the feeling of a personal connection. Yep. A person who I feel connected to energizes me.
     
    Gaze likes this.
  4. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Threads:
    120
    Messages:
    6,226
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3,480
    Trophy Points:
    878
    MBTI:
    -
    Enneagram:
    -
    Something with substance.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  5. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,768
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Yeah, sounds about right.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Threads:
    57
    Messages:
    1,915
    Likes Received:
    229
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    A personal connection transcends the banal boundaries of small talk and makes you actually think about things and/or realize 'woah me too.'
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  7. Flamethrower

    Flamethrower Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Might sound weird an INTJ talking about personal connection but this is very important to me. When I meet people I try to figure out very early on what personal connection we have. So I am very interested to understand what other people's values and experiences of life are - for them.

    For me it is finding a mutual bond where you can empathise with someone else and connect on your similarities or just appreciate someone's individuality from their point of view. It's not an awareness of people in a group sense either or from the outside. It's connecting with people one on one from the inside out in a more intimate sense. So what makes it unique is that every person themselves is unique and it's a very personal thing.

    I picture this as coming from the centre of me also! But it happens often and I have trouble understanding people if it doesn't. I find it very interesting that you say it's happened very rarely for you. I find that with INFJs and ENFJs I know that making this sort of connection is quite challenging as if I cannot connect with them easily from the inside out - so it also happens rarely for me with those types.

    I am very curious if anyone can explain why that is. One of my ENFJ friends says I am her closest friend and yet to me I feel completely disconnected from her and our friendship feels empty in some way even though she feels the exact opposite! I have wondered if this is because _NFJs are more Fe dominant as value people from the outside in whereas INTJs are Fi dominant (and hopeless at Fe) and view people from the inside out or something!

    :m075:
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. InsightFireNightJail

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2010
    Threads:
    3
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Not sure
    I have had so few, it is hard to really characterize. With one of them, years apart and even years not talking, and when we do talk it is the same as it was. I think we just have similar mental organization. We also have a pretty good dose of thinking the same sorts of superficial things are cool or interesting but that is definitely the minor factor. With another one, I remember naturally getting to the end of one our talks and one of us said something like, "ahh, we are now experiencing the positive effects of meditation" and it fit. Those kind of exchanges are expanding and centering and energizing and inspiring and I never really get anything like that from people I don't share mental organization with.
     
  9. The Vizier

    The Vizier Newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2010
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Type 6
    For me, a personal connection is a lifelong bond. I would expect to go through thick and thin with the person I form that "personal connection" with. Bosom buddies, best of friends, comrade in arms.
     
  10. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,768
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    A personal connection is something that can be nice but as someone said in another thread, it can't guarantee that someone will engage in or appreciate the connection or that it can or should develop into a deeper frienship or relationship. It's great if you find it, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will last or that someone will be genuinely interested in exploring that personal connection.

    It's more often used to take advantage or manipulate than to relate. Kinda scary because you can make a personal connection and think "Wow, that's cool or it's really nice to find someone who gets me," only to learn later that it's one-sided and that the person is not that interested in developing the connection further.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #10 Gaze, Sep 15, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2010
  11. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    1,339
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    177
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    IEI
    Enneagram:
    6w5 sp/sx
    If someone were to use the phrase "personal connection", I would think that they were referring to someone who they trusted.

    Though it sounds like you're using it to refer to someone who 'gets' you in some way.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,768
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Hmm . . . I think people describe it in different ways. You can have a personal connection with them and still not trust them. The "fact" that someone gets you doesn't mean they are necessarily trustworthy. Of course, there's always the potential for trust.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Threads:
    120
    Messages:
    6,226
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3,480
    Trophy Points:
    878
    MBTI:
    -
    Enneagram:
    -
    Personal connection and business connection are opposites in my mind.
    A personal connection is a connection you have with someone for other than work reasons and visa-versa.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,826
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,249
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    I like this, I think it does feel like that, like you share a life force with the people you love and it manifests physically via emotions. I think its the reason why the only times I ever cry is when I feel that connection cut or break, usually via death or loss, thats the only thing that gets me, and the way I describe that feeling is that a piece of me has been lost to time, that the connection once vibrant with feelings and sensation is now gone and cold and it hurts, it hurts greatly in such a way that I cannot bear to take it so my usual wall of strength breaks down and crumbles and I cant hold it in anymore.
     
    Gaze likes this.
  15. christmas

    christmas is such a boss bitch.
    Donor

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2009
    Threads:
    28
    Messages:
    2,156
    Likes Received:
    528
    Trophy Points:
    672
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    It happens rather quickly for me when it happens. It doesn't even have to be a "good" feeling for me to feel personally connected to someone. It's usually just a very strong feeling. Sometimes it's like I've pounced on someone. It feels like a kitten playing with her litter mate, and they are tumbling. Sometimes it can feel like a pinch. Sometimes it feels like the other person has slammed my head against a desk.
     
    Gaze likes this.
  16. OP
    Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,768
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Not sure why but i have a similar experience with connections. I tend to experience them rather quickly, with no build up. And they usually feel like tug on my spirit, almost like a physical connection. Feels like a link which is attached or not. It's weird.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #16 Gaze, Oct 16, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  17. Galileo

    Donor

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2010
    Threads:
    51
    Messages:
    1,355
    Likes Received:
    289
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    The Challenger
    A personal connection only happens for me when I understand the person involved and they fully understand me. not only that, but there must be total acceptance of both parties.

    There are very few people in the world who know me that deeply, and none of them are related to me.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. Jill Hives

    Jill Hives fhtagn
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2010
    Threads:
    105
    Messages:
    4,678
    Likes Received:
    1,570
    Trophy Points:
    323
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I have felt exactly what you described here . It is definitely one of the most awful feelings.

    ...except I tend to cry about everything. >_>
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2010
    Threads:
    84
    Messages:
    9,521
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    3,601
    Trophy Points:
    976
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Oregon
    MBTI:
    ENTP
    bump

    Was wandering around and found this thread.

    I think I would characterize it by how others have described in that there is a physical sense of "bonding" with that person. For me, it is a feeling of safety and the sense that when I am with that person that they see me for who I am, not who they want me to be or who they think I should be.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
Loading...

Share This Page