How would you describe a "personal connection"?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Hmmm... When I consider the personal connections I've made, I usually picture a little hand coming out from my heart and grabbing on to someone else's. I feel like there is a literal bond there. I very, very rarely feel this towards other people. It's happened only a couple of times in my entire life. I don't know how to describe the physical feeling of it though. It's like a hot flash in the center of my chest the second I realize a bond has just been made.
Usually to me that means there's a deep, mutual understanding of each other when you realize you're on the complete same wavelength. I don't have this with family, I have this with almost no friends, and maybe a small handful of people that I feel romantically connected to.
It's unique because it's more than about interacting with someone. It's sharing with someone. It's like there is a permeability in each of your souls where information and feelings (not necessarily romantic either) between the people just flow.
I wish I could put you in my head so you could see it the way I do in my mind, but for now this will have to do.
I'd describe it like seeing a pleasing landscape, someplace you'd like to stay.
Or maybe it's like pulling up to your home after a tiresome day.
(I'm not being corny and making a little rhyme there. That just happened.)
There are people who tax my reserves, and then there are people who I seem to have much more energy for.. in fact, seeing them and being with them energizes me.
That's how I'd describe the feeling of a personal connection. Yep. A person who I feel connected to energizes me.
Or maybe it's like pulling up to your home after a tiresome day.
(I'm not being corny and making a little rhyme there. That just happened.)
There are people who tax my reserves, and then there are people who I seem to have much more energy for.. in fact, seeing them and being with them energizes me.
That's how I'd describe the feeling of a personal connection. Yep. A person who I feel connected to energizes me.
Might sound weird an INTJ talking about personal connection but this is very important to me. When I meet people I try to figure out very early on what personal connection we have. So I am very interested to understand what other people's values and experiences of life are - for them.
For me it is finding a mutual bond where you can empathise with someone else and connect on your similarities or just appreciate someone's individuality from their point of view. It's not an awareness of people in a group sense either or from the outside. It's connecting with people one on one from the inside out in a more intimate sense. So what makes it unique is that every person themselves is unique and it's a very personal thing.
I picture this as coming from the centre of me also! But it happens often and I have trouble understanding people if it doesn't. I find it very interesting that you say it's happened very rarely for you. I find that with INFJs and ENFJs I know that making this sort of connection is quite challenging as if I cannot connect with them easily from the inside out - so it also happens rarely for me with those types.
I am very curious if anyone can explain why that is. One of my ENFJ friends says I am her closest friend and yet to me I feel completely disconnected from her and our friendship feels empty in some way even though she feels the exact opposite! I have wondered if this is because _NFJs are more Fe dominant as value people from the outside in whereas INTJs are Fi dominant (and hopeless at Fe) and view people from the inside out or something!
I have had so few, it is hard to really characterize. With one of them, years apart and even years not talking, and when we do talk it is the same as it was. I think we just have similar mental organization. We also have a pretty good dose of thinking the same sorts of superficial things are cool or interesting but that is definitely the minor factor. With another one, I remember naturally getting to the end of one our talks and one of us said something like, "ahh, we are now experiencing the positive effects of meditation" and it fit. Those kind of exchanges are expanding and centering and energizing and inspiring and I never really get anything like that from people I don't share mental organization with.
For me, a personal connection is a lifelong bond. I would expect to go through thick and thin with the person I form that "personal connection" with. Bosom buddies, best of friends, comrade in arms.
A personal connection is something that can be nice but as someone said in another thread, it can't guarantee that someone will engage in or appreciate the connection or that it can or should develop into a deeper frienship or relationship. It's great if you find it, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will last or that someone will be genuinely interested in exploring that personal connection.
It's more often used to take advantage or manipulate than to relate. Kinda scary because you can make a personal connection and think "Wow, that's cool or it's really nice to find someone who gets me," only to learn later that it's one-sided and that the person is not that interested in developing the connection further.
It's more often used to take advantage or manipulate than to relate. Kinda scary because you can make a personal connection and think "Wow, that's cool or it's really nice to find someone who gets me," only to learn later that it's one-sided and that the person is not that interested in developing the connection further.
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- Aug 9, 2009
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If someone were to use the phrase "personal connection", I would think that they were referring to someone who they trusted.
Though it sounds like you're using it to refer to someone who 'gets' you in some way.
Though it sounds like you're using it to refer to someone who 'gets' you in some way.
Hmm . . . I think people describe it in different ways. You can have a personal connection with them and still not trust them. The "fact" that someone gets you doesn't mean they are necessarily trustworthy. Of course, there's always the potential for trust.
I like this, I think it does feel like that, like you share a life force with the people you love and it manifests physically via emotions. I think its the reason why the only times I ever cry is when I feel that connection cut or break, usually via death or loss, thats the only thing that gets me, and the way I describe that feeling is that a piece of me has been lost to time, that the connection once vibrant with feelings and sensation is now gone and cold and it hurts, it hurts greatly in such a way that I cannot bear to take it so my usual wall of strength breaks down and crumbles and I cant hold it in anymore.
It happens rather quickly for me when it happens. It doesn't even have to be a "good" feeling for me to feel personally connected to someone. It's usually just a very strong feeling. Sometimes it's like I've pounced on someone. It feels like a kitten playing with her litter mate, and they are tumbling. Sometimes it can feel like a pinch. Sometimes it feels like the other person has slammed my head against a desk.
Not sure why but i have a similar experience with connections. I tend to experience them rather quickly, with no build up. And they usually feel like tug on my spirit, almost like a physical connection. Feels like a link which is attached or not. It's weird.
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A personal connection only happens for me when I understand the person involved and they fully understand me. not only that, but there must be total acceptance of both parties.
There are very few people in the world who know me that deeply, and none of them are related to me.
There are very few people in the world who know me that deeply, and none of them are related to me.
I have felt exactly what you described here . It is definitely one of the most awful feelings.
...except I tend to cry about everything. >_>
bump
Was wandering around and found this thread.
I think I would characterize it by how others have described in that there is a physical sense of "bonding" with that person. For me, it is a feeling of safety and the sense that when I am with that person that they see me for who I am, not who they want me to be or who they think I should be.
Was wandering around and found this thread.
I think I would characterize it by how others have described in that there is a physical sense of "bonding" with that person. For me, it is a feeling of safety and the sense that when I am with that person that they see me for who I am, not who they want me to be or who they think I should be.