How to reach out to other INFJ's?

[Chessie]

I haven't posted in the forums for a while now and lets be honest, it's TOUGH to find people besides other INFJ's who'll go to the trouble to understand us. Most INFJ's manage to at least survive in the face of a world that's aware of itself only about 1% of the time. That's a scary thought now that I actually put it out there. Meesh!

Anyway, I'm presently feeling a genuine loneliness. It's very real. A number of my friends have become unavailable this year due to various life issues (One got married! Another is back in highschool. Another is now an up and coming British rock star!) and I've been left feeling like I've got to handle things on my own lest I burden their time further.

Recognizing first that this is bullshit took a few months. It just means I need to make some more friends! Yes, opportunity comes first! I can look at things in a despairing light when all opportunities have been exhausted and they have been, by no means, exhausted.

I would like to reach out to the other persons here. I'm looking for the spark of brilliance, of well developed intuition that comes from other INFJ's. I want long, dangerous conversations late into the wee hours of the morning! I want to hear what your day has been like in detail.

How do you go about reaching out?



(On a further note, the site re-design could have used a system to organize people in the 'whose online section' by which messenger they use. That'd be NICE.)

 

[knight in battle]

I hear what you're saying, and I like how you said it. Here are my assumptions:

It's not inherent for INFJs to reach out to each other, but what you wrote here is pretty much how you have to do it. INFJs are problem solvers and empathizers, so unless you display a problem or sad story, they won't be open to you. The more you whine about a personal problem or express delight about a hyper sentimental relationship, the more INFJs will communicate with you. Also, INFJs prefer one-on-one communications -- after they get to know you in a semi-public place or thread.

Put on an INFP mindset and reach out to people. Don't think. Be the INFP. Be outwardly emotional. Be helpless, even if you're not. Be Luke Skywalker. Don't be Obi-wan Kenobi, the silent mentor. (Or the female versions of these.)

My day has been peaceful, meditative, delightful, with the usual moments of being lost in thought. I went out with my family and visited someone in the hospital. It was a dread but did it anyway. Then I took a 12 minute walk to my favorite bakery and ordered coffee for $1.50 and a spinach feta cheese pie. I sat there reading a book for almost two hours. The clerk gave me excellent service and collected my plate, even though I didn't make the effort to give any tip. He acted like he was scared of me, because I was verbally efficient and carried myself with confidence and a distant look. I tried not to scare him with my isolationistic, esoteric facial expression. I also told myself that I didn't feel like doing small talk, so I just kept silent.

Now PM me and/or one other INFJ (that you feel safe sharing with) and share a story about your day or week in detail, showing at least one instance of intuitiveness. Forget what the other person's response might be - it's irrelevant to this exercise. Include some giggliness like an INFP or ISFJ would. Above all: make it natural, as if you were writing to a best acquaintance/friend.