How To Have A Harmonious Home :-D | INFJ Forum

How To Have A Harmonious Home :-D

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Bas, Nov 10, 2019 at 11:59 PM.

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  1. Bas

    Bas Regular Poster

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    I feel I should start-off with a short thread I wrote elsewhere and then lead into how to have a harmonious home:

    "On Leadership

    It's critical that all on a team (or in any kind of group) have the same vision. When I say that all on a team should share the same 'vision', I mean, that all on the team need to share the same 'inspiration'.

    If one lives one's life according to what inspires him or her to do good, be one's best, to joyfully rise every morning and greet the day with gladness, then that is living in one's inspiration. A life of 'purpose' is a life being lived according to what truly inspires and uplifts one's heart!

    When people are inspired, they are motivated, and when they are motivated, they are disciplined. In a team (family, group of friends, etc) share the same inspiration ('vision'), then all are motivated and therefore, also all are disciplined. And when people are disciplined, they don't mind the set-backs so much because they are driven by the very cause that inspires them, and they know the goal is worth it!

    Such teams that share the same vision don't have disciplinary issues, for each inspired member of that team automatically disciplines himself or herself. To lead an inspired team is to lead with ease, comfort, and optimism! When all share the same vision, each team member is eager to do his or her role and to do it well. There will be no squabbling, no excuses, no ego-trips, just a peaceful, dedication to accomplishing the goals that inspire us! :-D

    Having a united vision is everything! :-D"

    ______________________________________________________

    In-order for there to be harmony in one's home, there NEEDS to be a unified vision.

    Growing-up, I lived in an extraordinarily abusive family. Every member of my family aside from myself is a narcissist. They were and are self-serving, cruel, vengeful, unenlightened. All claim to be akin to our long-line of priests, yet, none of them actually walk-the-walk. If they are trying, it's not obvious.

    And so, I told myself and I begged God, that when I grew-up, I'd be the best priest I could ever be. I started in practicing law, but found it hurt my heart to argue with others, I eventually realized I strayed from my goal to be the best priest I could be. I became laser-focused. I learned all I could about leadership. That led me to serve my country, and then later, I learned my country betrayed me. So, I looked further. I wasn't sure where to look and I certainly couldn't ask my family. I disappeared from most all people's lives for some years. I went into self-imposed exile. When I emerged, I decided I had to learn and actually keep what God gave for His children to keep. I dedicated myself to this purpose. I believe even priests should get married, and so, I began to pray that I would meet a wife who is faithful,etc. And one of the things I wanted so much was a family where people actually love each other and where there are no discipline problems, just people working together towards common goals!

    Fast-forward some years: I have always taught my kids, our family outlook on things. I've always taught them my religious and philosophical views on everything. Still, I have also always taught them to decide for themselves what to believe and how to live. I have always taught them though, that as long as they live under my roof, they keep the house rules, but otherwise, they can do what they please. And so, yes, we have standards in my house, rules of conduct,etc. I've learned early that kids care more about what we do as parents, than what we say.

    And so, thanks to God above all other reasons and considerations, all my kids, even my teens, are very well mannered and have never been trouble-makers--despite the wide-berth I have always given them.

    What we all have in-common with one another is a unified vision; and having this unified vision creates self and group motivation. And self and group motivation creates self and group discipline. And all this creates a harmonious home! And there are other great things too that can and ought to be added to this list, which also create harmony in the home! :-D

     
  2. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    I disagree. Support and understanding supersede unification every time.
    People should be allowed individuality and sovereignty over themselves throughout their lives.
    A unified vision suppresses full sovereignty of others within the home, which creates disharmony.
     
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    Bas

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    I understand that you disagree, but having a unified vision presupposes all are already asserting their individuality and sovereignty over themselves, BUT, have chosen to grow with the group and not separate from it, despite retaining one's own being throughout the group effort and growth.

    A unified vision suppresses nothing. A group with a unified vision is one where all members have individual goals that align with the collective goal--thus no conflict of interests.

    A parent should never assert more control over their children than what is necessary to help maintain order in the home. And if a child chooses to align his or her goals with the group goals, then a unified home one has indeed. Free will is absolute for each individual.

    In my family, all my kids are very strongly independent in every way, yet, they are also willingly-interdependent too.

    In America, generally-speaking, people are TOO much of an individual to the point of selfishness. In Asia, generally-speaking, people are TOO much about group harmony that they have no sense of what they want or whether an idea is right or wrong; they just go with the flow of the group.

    A balance between individuality and group harmony maintains true harmony.
     
  4. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    That's not what you said originally lol
     
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    Bas

    Bas Regular Poster

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    It is what I originally said, I just re-worded it, because if you didn't understand my words, others may not have understood either.
     
  6. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    All a parent can do is providing sufficient loving support, understanding and care, to the best of their abilities, and aim for a reciprocal and healthy relationship with their child. Also, to facilitate learning and stimulate development in areas you can have a positive effect on. It's not a duty, it's something you can offer them, or not. They might turn out good either way.
    Sometimes it's a thin line between nurturing and curbing.

    One could argue that (imposed or non-imposed) harmony in the context of family might be counterproductive, as it could potentially undercut certain aspects of cognitive and social development, such as conflict management and resolution.

    And they still could end up in juvenile detention or being a bum under a bridge.
    Or being a self-absorbed boomer.

    Oh, and don't take my word for it. I could be wrong.
     
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  7. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    This is the most sense I've ever seen you make here. Are you ok? :laughing:
     
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  8. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    Bas

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    I had more sleep than usual. ;-)
     
  10. Wyote

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    I was responding to @Professor Snep
    You need more sleep, I guess.
     
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  11. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    Shush he prolly blocked me and spared my posts the burden of being in his recordings for posterity.

    *weeps tears of joy*
     
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  12. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    I said shush out of fear of using the name of the greatest of forum members in vain.
     
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    Bas

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    I always need more sleep.
     
  14. Wyote

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