How much do you feel? | INFJ Forum

How much do you feel?

Soulful

Soulful

life is good
Nov 18, 2008
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Right now I feel dead inside. Not depressed or upset, as far as I know. But I don't feel anything. Over the years, I shut down emotionally, so figuring out how I'm feeling or what I'm feeling (if anything) isn't often clear-cut for me. Right now, a friend (we've had conflicts) I've known for 10+ years is telling me about someone very close to her dying, and I don't know that I feel anything. I've been talking to her for almost an hour, because I care about her and I feel like I should be talking to her, because how could I just ignore her when she probably feels like her world is sinking? But I don't *feel* sad, I don't feel anything that she's feeling, and my expression of empathy doesn't (to me) seem the be a significant source of how I am feeling as I am speaking with her. Is that normal, common, or anything else?

Do people normally feel all the time, on a regular basis?
 
I used to do that all the time. Complete apathy, didn't much care, just didn't really feel anything. Sad things didn't sadden me, happy things didn't excite me...

'Til I realized that it wasn't because I couldn't feel anything. I was simply not letting myself feel anything. I was holding myself back without realizing it. It takes time but you can connect to your emotions; thus empathizing with people in a stronger way. I spent the longest time fooling myself into thinking I couldn't feel emotion that I lost touch with them.
 
As of lately, I feel too much. It is getting better though.
 
PsilocinProject said:
I used to do that all the time. Complete apathy, didn't much care, just didn't really feel anything. Sad things didn't sadden me, happy things didn't excite me...

'Til I realized that it wasn't because I couldn't feel anything. I was simply not letting myself feel anything. I was holding myself back without realizing it. It takes time but you can connect to your emotions; thus empathizing with people in a stronger way. I spent the longest time fooling myself into thinking I couldn't feel emotion that I lost touch with them.
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How did you let yourself feel? How did you stop holding yourself back?

I do get excited quite easily sometimes.. that's, thankfully, one emotion that I do experience :D. Sometimes I wonder if I get too excited, because people around me don't seem to exhibit as much excitement as I feel. It comes in like ocean tides.
 
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You don't feel bad unless it has relevance to you. I don't see why you should feel bad if someone else dies that you don't know.
 
Maybe not bad, but sad? You know - sad that my friend is sad, sad that someone who means the world to her is slipping away from her, sad that she is feeling so hurt right now.

I don't know.

I'm doing very well for where I am and how I've come along. I do wonder sometimes, how much people feel though. Does it have to do with having an emotionally-fulfilling, rich, or -something- life? At least for some people?
 
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IndigoSensor said:
As of lately, I feel too much. It is getting better though.
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I know there may be no other way to answer this question other than "I just do", but I need to ask.. how do you feel so much, even too much?
 
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Having experienced the death of my 16 year old son on Feb 22 of this year, I am feeling way too much all the time. I would give anything to feel nothing at all, which I have many many times in my life. I didn't like it much when I couldn't feel anything though.

Soulful, it is totaly ok to not feel sad. Your friend doesn't need you to feel sad for her. she just needs you to be there if and when she asks.
 
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Soulful said:
How did you let yourself feel? How did you stop holding yourself back?

I do get excited quite easily sometimes.. that's, thankfully, one emotion that I do experience :D. Sometimes I wonder if I get too excited, because people around me don't seem to exhibit as much excitement as I feel. It comes in like ocean tides.
Click to expand...
I dunno... I just... Let my guard down completely and let them flow through. I stopped rationalizing and started feeling.
 
I feel many things, all the time, and probably too intensely.

It makes my thinking function be all like grrrrs!

I always thought that not being able to feel anything would be sort of like hell.

Is it hard to handle if you don't mind my asking?
 
Pattern that I have had is that I've hidden the feelings and well they kind of piled up and eventually overwhelmed me. But the usual trend is that in very emotional situations or in acute danger, I'm usually very rational and don't get upset, I shut myself down emotionally and usually am the "voice of reason", and then afterwards it all comes over me.

I don't feel comfortable showing the depth and the vulnerability of my feelings to anyone in their immediate form sort of, although I've had to kind of humble myself with that cause there have been situations where even I couldn't protect myself.

I feel very deeply.
 
What is being described in this thread is somewhat explained by INFJ preferred COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS - there is a good description of them in a thread titled 'distinguishing INFJs from INFPs'.

INFJs have introverted iNtuition (Ni) and extroverted Feeling (Fe). So it isn't surprising that you should feel nothing inside, while being very compassionate to others. As for suddenly being overwhelmed by emotions, it sounds like what is sometimes called a 'shaddow episode' in which your inferior functions come out and your behaviour more resembles a stressed ESTP.
 
I dont feel anything now. Nor do I usually do. This allows me to look at thing neutrally. This is why I dont really like it when suddenly strong emotions come about me. I lose all control and I cant be as tactical as I usually am. But I also must admit feeling does make life that much more interesting to say the least.
 
I know the feeling! And, oddly enough.. I find myself feeling guilty for not feeling anything when I think I should be feeling something in a given situation. It's very awkward.

It's not a bad thing, I'd say... Only because in my experience I walk around all day feeling. Every thought I have and observation I have is attached to feeling. I usually feel like a giant bleeding nerve ending walking around.. It gets overwhelming.

When it gets to be too much, I find my emotions are dulled. I feel a smidge numb. And I worry the same as you do. But after a time the emo comes back.

Maybe the numbness is your brain giving you a break before you have a break down. That's what my theory is, anyway. It doesn't make you callous or cold or apathetic.
It's just your feelings taking a little cat nap.
 
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The streams of feeling and logic hit a fork in the road somewhere in my brain and work my blood into mud. So naturally, when I feel strongly it seems to have some logical backing - even though it seldom does. I tend to feel emotionless unless I'm around other people who run on the same confusing fuel as I do.
 
I hate apathy :/ You should perhaps see a therapist about it soulful. Often this type comes after you have been extremely emotionally sensitive, e.g. someone pushed your buttons and you cried out all your emotions - then the next following phase will be what you are experiencing (at least in my case)
 
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I feel quite a bit, about a great many things; although it is very intense, it's at a healthy level for me, and I can handle it quite well.:smile:
 
Hey Eric and welcome back.
 
Hey....I've been a little, uh...preoccupied lately...lol

:smile:
 
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