[INTJ] How might I be able to develop on my Fi?

[DrNefarious97]

It seems to me that it is only when I am in an intense environment with the ability to hone in on one subject at a time thrown out of the window - that I become totally objectifying and dehumanising. Whether or not I am uncomfortable or comfortable, I want to be able to be more of a pleasant and less spooking person.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

It really comes down to what you value as more important: people or your subjects (that you hone in on)

 

[Trifoilum]

A bit of empathy.

Awareness of how it might feel when someone did to you what you did to them; awareness of how your actions were.

The Golden Rule. Do unto others what you want to be done to you. Would you want others to do what you did?

 

[Eventhorizon]

I keep my mouth closed a great deal of the time when there are things I really want to say...badly. I keep in mind though the following. If what you are going to say is not actually going to help anyone, why say it? You can tell people what you think of what they think or what you think of them but if its going to hurt them in an unproductive way for them, why say it? The only reason to say it is to serve what really comes down to your petty sense of self.
Obviously there will be times you need to say things to effect change that have to be said and will hurt some that are in the way of that change but even then being an intj you are intelligent enough to temper your words so that they cause minimal unneeded damage.

We can recognize there are things in this life that are more fragile than others and move in a way that minimizes damage to those things. Sometimes it takes active mindfulness to be aware in tbis way though and this is what I find myself working on more than anything. The same things that might hurt others deeply mean nothing to me when turned on me. It is for this reason that I struggle sometimes to relate and as a result I sometimes falter. I think even making the effort to be mindful by itself though is noble.

 

[Scientia]

A bit of empathy.

Awareness of how it might feel when someone did to you what you did to them; awareness of how your actions were.

The Golden Rule. Do unto others what you want to be done to you. Would you want others to do what you did?

Basically this.

 

[Solongo]

It seems to me that it is only when I am in an intense environment with the ability to hone in on one subject at a time thrown out of the window - that I become totally objectifying and dehumanising. Whether or not I am uncomfortable or comfortable, I want to be able to be more of a pleasant and less spooking person.

The intensity you project is part of your makeup. Giving it up or lessening it may feel inauthentic but it will depend on what you gain from the exchange. Most of the time it is not worth it because you tend to attract th right type of people when you stay being who you are.

 

[DrNefarious97]

But even if I am not visibly upset at having caused someone else to feel that they are upset, I still do. When I walk down the street or listen wholeheartedly to a course teacher, I seem to be disturbing them each time with my ''INTJ death stare''.