How do you respond to confrontation?

[mochi]

I've been thinking about this lately. Is it better to not say anything or stand your ground? I always find I just get quiet and never say anything back. I am never usually confronted except by a crazy psycho stranger.

How do you respond? Do you think one way is better than the other?

 

[barbad0s]

I am never usually confronted except by a crazy psycho stranger.

lolwut?

 

[mochi]

lolwut?

Meaning, someone I don't know. A more accurate description would be, a person you run into in a foul mood.

 

[eloquent_leo]

Depends, is this stranger confronting you about something you did/are doing? Or are they just venting their foul mood out loud to you about something that happened/someone else?

 

[mochi]

Depends, is this stranger confronting you about something you did/are doing? Or are they just venting their foul mood out loud to you about something that happened/someone else?

I was thinking along the lines of confronting you personally... But I am also interested in hearing all accounts of confrontation, whether it be a stranger, friend, etcetera.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Is it better to not say anything or stand your ground?

Both, for crazy psycho strangers (wait for them to cross the line first, or don't even let them get that far)

But it depends where your ground/line to be crossed is, and what type of confrontation it is and everything. If someone's just really bugging you and you want them to leave you alone then there are reasonable/effective ways to assert authority if you have it, otherwise if it's some type of deal in which you're trying to do business, that's another art entirely

 

[barbad0s]

[MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION] I guess I also tend to get quiet and say nothing back, or try to help them calm down or something. Lol strangers or acquaintances who dont know me.. if they come up with crap to confront me about it's probably going to be some kind of ridiculous psycho stuff that doesn't make any sense. I'll just ignore them, or if they continue to harass me, try to reason with them and straighten things out (or gtfo if I discover they're actually psycho).

 

[mochi]

@mochi I guess I also tend to get quiet and say nothing back, or try to help them calm down or something. Lol strangers or acquaintances who dont know me.. if they come up with crap to confront me about it's probably going to be some kind of ridiculous psycho stuff that doesn't make any sense. I'll just ignore them, or if they continue to harass me, try to reason with them and straighten things out (or gtfo if I discover they're actually psycho).

Same. I find the best way is to ignore the person, especially if they are psycho. It's nice that you try to calm them down I never usually do that, I just stare back at them, lol. I think most confrontational people feed off of confrontational reactions, so I try not to say anything to them directly. At the same time, there are some that are persistant. It's interesting to know there are people who are able to actually deal with people like these quite expertly. My friend is one of them, and I'm usually amazed by her sense of coolness.

 

[mochi]

Both, for crazy psycho strangers (wait for them to cross the line first, or don't even let them get that far)

But it depends where your ground/line to be crossed is, and what type of confrontation it is and everything. If someone's just really bugging you and you want them to leave you alone then there are reasonable/effective ways to assert authority if you have it, otherwise if it's some type of deal in which you're trying to do business, that's another art entirely

That's very true. Most of the times it's things I can just brush off. But there are some things people do that can definitely be overboard.

 

[barbad0s]

[MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION] yeah... you are not expected to have to deal with them! crazy people be crazy

 

[eloquent_leo]

[MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION]
When an aquaintance confronts me in a foul mood. I tell them to take a step back, chill out, I'm sure you're upset about _____, but you need to calm down. I don't appreciate you talking to me like that. If I did something wrong/hurtful to them, I apologize, figure what made them so upset, understand they are hurt, and try to find a common ground as to how to fix things, etc. If they keep pushing the line, yelling in my face, touch me in a bad way, I walk away while telling them I'm not going to talk to you right now until you can settle things calmly. If they follow me, and keep pushing my buttons, touch me again after I warned them not to touch me. Hit me. I end up getting physical. It never leads to that though. But I will not be degraded like that and prepare for the worst.

When its a friend, I let them talk, no matter how mad they are. Let them calm down at their own time and listen.

If its at work and a customer is upset, I just agree with them. I understand. I'm sorry. Etc. "Customer's are always right"

If its a stranger?... and they're confronting me... I ignore them. They keep bothering me, still ignore them. They say mean things. Ignore them. It's not worth my time. Headphones in ear? Check. Music blaring? Check.

 

[barbad0s]

@mochi
When an aquaintance confronts me in a foul mood. I tell them to take a step back, chill out, I'm sure you're upset about _____, but you need to calm down. I don't appreciate you talking to me like that. If I did something wrong/hurtful to them, I apologize, figure what made them so upset, understand they are hurt, and try to find a common ground as to how to fix things, etc. If they keep pushing the line, yelling in my face, touch me in a bad way, I walk away while telling them I'm not going to talk to you right now until you can settle things calmly. If they follow me, and keep pushing my buttons, touch me again after I warned them not to touch me. Hit me. I end up getting physical. It never leads to that though. But I will not be degraded like that and prepare for the worst.

When its a friend, I let them talk, no matter how mad they are. Let them calm down at their own time and listen.

If its at work and a customer is upset, I just agree with them. I understand. I'm sorry. Etc. "Customer's are always right"

If its a stranger?... and they're confronting me... I ignore them. They keep bothering me, still ignore them. They say mean things. Ignore them. It's not worth my time. Headphones in ear? Check. Music blaring? Check.

y so smooth? +1

 

[mochi]

@mochi
When an aquaintance confronts me in a foul mood. I tell them to take a step back, chill out, I'm sure you're upset about _____, but you need to calm down. I don't appreciate you talking to me like that. If I did something wrong/hurtful to them, I apologize, figure what made them so upset, understand they are hurt, and try to find a common ground as to how to fix things, etc. If they keep pushing the line, yelling in my face, touch me in a bad way, I walk away while telling them I'm not going to talk to you right now until you can settle things calmly. If they follow me, and keep pushing my buttons, touch me again after I warned them not to touch me. Hit me. I end up getting physical. It never leads to that though. But I will not be degraded like that and prepare for the worst.

When its a friend, I let them talk, no matter how mad they are. Let them calm down at their own time and listen.

If its at work and a customer is upset, I just agree with them. I understand. I'm sorry. Etc. "Customer's are always right"

If its a stranger?... and they're confronting me... I ignore them. They keep bothering me, still ignore them. They say mean things. Ignore them. It's not worth my time. Headphones in ear? Check. Music blaring? Check.

y so smooth? +1

I agree with [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION], very smooth indeed.

 

[eloquent_leo]

[MENTION=3876]mochi[/MENTION] [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]

Thanks

 

[subwayrider]

OK, the situation wasn't really specified, so I'll look at a few:

Friend: (this hardly ever happens) I'd probably just tell them to calm down. I wouldn't bother being friends with someone who would go berserk over any little thing anyway, so this isn't really an issue. After they'd calmed down, we would have a heart to heart talk, most likely.

Customer: this is one you just have to take, if you want to keep your job. I try to pass the ball to my manager ASAP, so I don't have to deal with it. If the manager's not there, you manipulate their emotions by offering them a free drink.

Stranger: Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Unless they got physical first, I wouldn't try to start a fight. I would probably end up losing.

Crackhead with a knife: Run.

There are times when you have to fight, yes, like when it comes to bullies. But, for the most part, things can be worked out by ignoring the person, or trying to calm them down.

 

[bamf]

I generally brush it off, but will calmly stand my ground. I'll make my physical size known if people seem like they might get aggressive, and generally speaking as long as I calmly remind people of my size they back off. I can get snarky with the best of them too. If pushed too far I won't hold back, but that almost never happens. Generally speaking I'm just laid-back and roll with the punches.

 

[subwayrider]

[MENTION=1009]bamf[/MENTION]

are you a 7-foot behemoth or something? You're not going to make a very good Hobbit.

 

[bamf]

@bamf

are you a 7-foot behemoth or something? You're not going to make a very good Hobbit.

If only! I'm 6'3", which is nothing huge, but bigger than most people that seem to take bother with me. I'm telling you, I'm going to have to be the world's tallest hobbit.

 

[subwayrider]

Haha. Good luck finding a Hobbit wife! They'll think you're a freak

 

[Gaze]

In the past, I would get offended, but now, I become a little defensive, look at the person oddly, and then back away slowly. I don't want no drama. I am a drama free sone lately.

One of my mottos in life today is "no drama" and I hate it when people pull me into any dramas. Yes, on a occasion, I will confront someone but I usually back down because if it gets too tense, I start to feel stressed about it, so eventually, I let it go, for my own sake.