How do you know if a person is an INFJ | INFJ Forum

How do you know if a person is an INFJ

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by faridsimpson, Sep 10, 2013.

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  1. faridsimpson

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    How do you know if a person is an INFJ.:


    Let me start.

    1. A lot of eye movements when talking
    2. Thinks for a long time first before he or she speaks
    3. Hand gestures ochestrating the spoken word
    4. Genuinely cares for everybody
    5. Eye contact: Intense, spiritual and loving
    6. Language: Talks abstract topics.
    7. Likes to observe with genuine interest

    Any more guys?
     
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  2. sentientsixpence

    sentientsixpence fail daemon

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    Vague. Lots of people have a lot of eye movement. If there is a generalization to be made it would be that INFJs return from their wandering back to strong eye contact. This would be as opposed to for example Te users who can come across as arrogant because they continue to talk while looking in completely different places as if we should be taking notes on their magnificent words. (They don't mean it this way; it just seems this way.)

    This probably seems more true for anyone with Ni or Ti as a dominant or auxiliary function. However, many times when someone is prepared to speak immediately about something because they have already run it through their heads for hours upon hours, it may give the false appearance that it lacks forethought.

    This describes most trained speakers, most extroverts, and INFP as well.

    Whether there is truth to this or not, Fe users are more often viewed as insincere compared to Fi users. Fe users may not want people to feel bad and have a genuine interest in resolving discord but are not as likely to dive into what someone is going through, internalize it, and fully imagine themselves in the same situation.

    I would agree to intense. Spiritual? What does spiritual eye contact look like?

    Probably all xNxx qualify for this as well as many educated sensors.

    Observe what? I think most people are genuinely interested in what they're interested in.
     
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  3. Radiantshadow

    Radiantshadow Urban shaman

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    Verification of personality can actually be quite difficult. The personality types created by Carl Jung describe how information and behaviors are processed and do not revolve around static behavioral assignments.
     
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  4. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Based on a confirmed INFJ from work:

    obvious inward focus
    easy to talk to about abstract topics
    strong values, seeks people who mirror them
    doesn't like jokes about their character
    very responsible. won't break a promise.
    expects people to do their "duty" and will become angry if they don't
    very sincere themselves. respect people who are also sincere. stay away from fake people
    good listener
    sometimes seems down for no reason
    cares about peoples feelings. will randomly do nice things for them
    genuinely interested in hearing about what other people's lives/values are like.
    sometimes sentimental
     
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  5. sentientsixpence

    sentientsixpence fail daemon

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    Wow, even your coworker is really INFP. :)
     
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  6. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
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    Not bad but I can say that I for one do not really care about peoples feelings. Its not like I go out of my way to do anything about them, I just think they are secondary to the task at hand if something needs to get done.
    Also I could pretty much care less what other peoples lives are like. In fact, people are always trying to tell me about the latest happenings in their lives and I wonder why. I am a good listener though when a problem is presented. I do care what my friends lives are like..
     
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  7. sassafras

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    I think it's a bit tough to type a more reserved introvert just at a glance, especially if they're shy. Most of the processing is going on under the hood and it's difficult to tell how they've come to their conclusions. In my experience and what I know of INFJs/my understanding of the theory, here's a summary of the things I've noticed (keep in mind, it's not about going line-by-line, it's about looking at the full picture and how many tendencies align... and oh yeah, this is just my take on it :p):


    • They are not particularly expressive; they're often kind of matter of fact when they don't know you well, yet quite warm and friendly nonetheless. It's a strange, contradictory vibe overall. I wish I could explain it better.
    • They rarely initiate coffee dates/lunch dates, but tag along with the group if you invite them and seem content (if not a bit shy) to be there.
    • Take immense interest in you when you speak to them; ask you questions and seem to genuinely care about what you've got to say rather than trying to fulfill a social obligation/waiting for their turn to speak.
    • Actually, they ask a LOT of questions and they're really good at getting you to zero in on an issue.
    • In general, they're excellent at coming up with alternative perspectives on a situation and they have a very concise way of explaining things so that you understand.
    • They are interested in promoting harmony and kindness, and thus usually find interests that encourage inner peace and positive thinking. Meditation, various New Age philosophies, Tai Chi, etc.
    • They tend to be spiritual, if not religious. Even if they are atheist, they tend not to be militant about their beliefs unless they truly feel that religious organizations are harmful.
    • They almost never talk about themselves in group settings. They let everyone else do the talking. They'll just listen and ask questions and prompt the conversation on.
    • They make you feel like you can tell them anything, that they won't judge you for it
    • They're usually the first to notice if something is off or that you're having a bad day.
    • They identify with social justice issues.
    • It's very difficult for them to speak badly or unfairly about other people. Even when they're angry at the person, they'll still try to consider the other person's points and try to check their own blind-spots. If they do fly off the handle and complain about the person irrationally, they will feel bad about it and tell you so.
    • They sometimes can be a little controlling of their friends and manipulative if they don't want you to do something
    • They are able to think ahead and anticipate solutions and potential pitfalls very quickly. For instance, if what you're planning on doing might step on someone's toes or what such and such a person might answer to a proposed solution, they will point it out to you.
    • They don't volunteer many personal details about their life. They don't seem to find themselves too interesting/think they will bore others. If they do talk about themselves, they usually do it in the form of an example when they're explaining something.
    • Their outward personality tends to be calm, kind, and even-keel. More outgoing, expressive types may find them uninteresting
    • They fear being unappreciated and/or forgotten.
    • They usually have some offbeat interests and alternative perspective on the mainstream. For example, alternative health & nutrition, EFT, Kendo, World Religions, etc. The INFJ I know was immensely interested in Early Christian Mysticism. She's Jewish and not particularly religious or even openly spiritual, but she loves everything and anything to do with the early origins of modern religions and their history.
    • Unfairness and injustice bother them immensely.
    • They think before they speak, but sometimes they miss out on opportunities to say what's on their mind when there are too many balls up in the air in a conversation
    • They also hate bullying or people ganging up on one person. They will stand up for the underdog.
    • Sometimes they're standoffish for no reason. Sometimes they notice this in themselves and apologize for it. Sometimes they don't.
    • They slightly adjust the way they speak to different people; they're very good at getting on the same wavelength with others
    • They're not keeners, but they will quietly offer help if they notice that you need it.
    • They always felt older as kids. As adults, however, they often have a naive outlook on the world.
    • They can be a little pedantic once you get them going on something. Or they will mom you in this subtle, grating way.
    • They're amazing with their insights into relationships and they often give you very level-headed advice. And they're pretty thorough too. They look at all sides of the issue.
    • Sometimes they can come across as know-it-all's or too in-control, so it makes them look like they're trying too hard or that they're too fake
    • In their eagerness to help, they often end up taking over the project and even though they take opinions from the group, they end up doing things their own way. It's hard to call them out on it because you know the mean well and they're so nice, but its frustrating.
    • If they like you and you speak fairly often, they'll do little things for you, like send you a joke or a little quote of inspiration to perk up your day.
    • Even when it's clear they're nervous/upset, they will still try to make everyone else around them comfortable first
    • They dislike it when people fight and will usually step in to diffuse the situation if they see a way to do it. Most people seem to listen to them because they've got this strangely calming presence.
    • If they're really upset with you, they'll just withdraw for a while
    • Sometimes they get too caught up in helping other people with their problems that they neglect their own work, or even their family.
    • They seem perfectly aware when people are taking advantage of them. They'll complain and acknowledge that they need to do something, but they won't.
    • They can be rather perfectionist.
    • They tend to be interested in volunteer work/helping someone in their community/charities. Whether or not they go out and pursue it depends on their level of shyness. If you offer to do it with them, though, they are all over it.
    • They're not particularly assertive and they seem embarrassed to ask for help from others
    • They don't get attached to many people, but when they do attach to someone, they get a little too attached and clingy.
    • They've got a long fuse when it comes to dealing with other people. Like, a loooong fuse. It takes truly a lot to make them snap.
    • If there's a misunderstanding between you two, the INFJ will be the first to approach and explain the side of their story.
    • Regardless of what they think of themselves, people tend to hold them in very high regard.
    • They almost always appear deep in thought.
     
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    #7 sassafras, Sep 11, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2013
  8. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    no he's an INFJ based on his test results.
     
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  9. LucyJr

    LucyJr Well-known member

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    Hmm...can you explain that? Maybe with examples, I'm really curious :)
     
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  10. subwayrider

    subwayrider Into the White

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    To get at the essence of the issue, rather than beat around the bush, INFJ's primary relationship will be to his/her ideas and insights, whereas INFP's will be to his/her personalized values and ethics.


    • INFJ is a Dominant Perceiver, which makes him/her a little more nebulous, even morally ambiguous.

    • INFP is a Dominant Judger, which makes him/her more grounded, even intellectually close-minded.
    [HR][/HR]

    [​IMG]

    Dumbledore is an excellent INFJ because, even though he's thoroughly kind and committed to the well-being of everyone, who he is at the core is essentially an intellect whose vision for the world often takes priority over his sense of right and wrong.
    [HR][/HR]

    [​IMG]

    Chris McCandless (of Into the Wild) is a good INFP because, even though he's clearly adept with abstraction, the bedrock of his being is his highly personalized values and ethics.
     
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  11. barbad0s

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    Fart loudly and abruptly in front of them. If they smile coyly, they are INFJ.
     
  12. sentientsixpence

    sentientsixpence fail daemon

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    As a child, I was ahead of my peers. I talked to teachers the way students talked to each other. I was "wise beyond my years" or "an old soul" as some say. It felt like others couldn't keep up and couldn't see what was obvious. I got accustomed to this; spoiled by it.

    I don't know when it flipped but I've never quite been in synch.

    I now identify with people much younger than I am--often seeing things more similarly to the children of my peers. I cling stubbornly to undying idealism and romanticism despite everything, as optimistic as I was before ever I was scathed. People often mistake me for younger than I am both online and in person. I still want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and sometimes put myself in danger and in dangerous places.

    This is how it has been for me, anyway.
     
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    #12 sentientsixpence, Sep 16, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2013
  13. LucyJr

    LucyJr Well-known member

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    Ok...it's good to hear your views but I'm confused again :)
    "I cling stubbornly to undying idealism and romanticism despite everything" - what's so naive in this? Can you explain me, please? To be honest, I can't see anything naive or childish in that. Ok, I'm aware here that may be just my childish, naivety is the reason why I can't see anything, but I don't believe that :), so , can anybody help me here???? :) My actual age is 20, if it's important for the "calculations" :)
     
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  14. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Go across the Internet; the prevailing ideals du jour is cynicism and nihilism nowadays.
    Reckless abandon for 'non-intellectuals', or 'weighed-by-the-world hopelessness' for the 'intellectuals'.

    In other words, based on what @TheDaringHatTrick said; a lot of INFJ will appear comparatively cynical and world-weary when they were young, but will appear comparatively hopeful and idealistic (or even naive) when they were older.

    Adding my point--hmm, I don't know a surefire sign, but several factors that helped the process of elimination would be

    Generally leaning towards the serious side rather than the jocular. If they deliver jokes-- they tend to be rather subtle. 'dry' rather than 'crude'; 'poking' rather than 'making fun'. A special case ought to be made when they are consciously, socially trying to 'perform' as someone crude or perverted, in which case, they generally can deliver it in a mimicking way.

    However, when they are going analytical-- they tend to lean to the verbose rather than the simple. Complicated over the minimalistic approach. Does not mean they don't value simplicity; they generally do, but it's more....hmm, content-oriented?

    Some INFJs I know (aside from me, but I acknowledge my personal bias) has a particular way of speaking; word choices, word arrangement, patterns, so on. A lot of people do have it, regardless of types, but the people I considered INFJs have it more than others, I guess?
     
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  15. sassafras

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    That is not at all what I said or even suggested. Cynicism doesn't have anything to do with feeling older or wiser.

    What I meant is that Fe is concerned with nurturing, building rapport and bringing people together--which is quite a responsible and mature emotional outlook for a young child. While their peers at that age look out for number one, Fe types are looking out for everyone else and see a broader perspective.

    Besides, cynicism tends to be an introverted judging function trait. Ni+Fe is a lot more open and approaches each new group with fresh eyes. Fe wants to make others feel comfortable and calm. It is much more mindful of stirring up turbulent emotions or anxieties with its point of view. If it has a negative opinion, unless it aims to hurt someone, it will keep it to themselves or look for a way to diplomatically communicate it.

    The thing to keep in mind is that Fe is ultimately a social function and it is for this reason that INFJs appear to be the most extroverted of introverts. They're not as bouncy or expressive as ENFPs or ENFJs---in general, they carry themselves with an even keel thanks to a dominant Ni--- but they still enjoy people. Indeed, Fe-types aren't as selective with their friends as Fi-types are. Fe-types are more open to socializing with almost everybody and they have a habit of collecting a wide variety of friends and acquaintances because people tend to latch onto them. In fact, for whatever reason, INFJs tend to be friends with quite a few extroverts on whom they piggy-back into social situations.
     
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    #15 sassafras, Sep 16, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2013
  16. sassafras

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    THIS.

    INFJs are more open, inquisitive and are comfortable with loose ends or not knowing everything. When they theorize, there is a beginning and end to their thinking session and it's not on a perpetual loop like it is for INTPs and INFPs. They also extrovert/express their findings and look for application--- and usually their guinea pigs are other people.
     
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  17. sentientsixpence

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    I don't think that it's not wanting to know more or being open to more. It's that the information is usable. If the premise works, every detail doesn't have to be fleshed out before you can use it.

    INTPs have been the ones in my life who seem unwilling to commit because they can't account for every piece of data and every possibility. When something is true "only" 90% of the time, INTPs seem so reluctant to use the generalization. I work in software where I see many INTPs and INTJs. The interaction between them is funny because they each have their own version of superiority and it seems to all stem from this.

    I hear this said of both INTJs and INFJs.

    I was searching google just now but I can't find the exact quote. What made me relate to an INFJ description more than any other was when someone said something about INFJs seeing humans as something to study like living machines.
     
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  18. SealHammer

    SealHammer Flying Quesadilla

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    This would explain why I find trolling/griefing to be one of the highest art forms.
     
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  19. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Ah, I misread horribly then. *blushes* *fans self* >A<
    Thank you for the clarification. *curts*

    (And I do somewhat (biasedly) agreed)
     
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  20. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    I see it as--
    INTPs prided themselves of knowing the right thing (oh, Ti)
    while INTJs prided themselves of knowing more.

    But that might be just me.

    I don't disagree.
    For me it's like--this random example I drew from SOMEWHERE;
    INTJ : "hmm, so a 1200 calorie diet is effective." *goes to a guinea pig* "Hey, try doing a 1200 calorie diet!"
    INFJ : "People usually fear the unknown." *goes to a guinea pig* "Hey, what do you think of the unknown?"

    (That said, @SealHammer ; trolling? The highest degree? how crude and unrefined. *sips tea, eats macaron, opens fan, tilts head*

    *gets guillotined*)
     
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