How do you get an INFJ to share with you (ideas, knowledge and understanding)? | INFJ Forum

How do you get an INFJ to share with you (ideas, knowledge and understanding)?

Arising Tale

Arising Tale

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Sep 22, 2014
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Apparently, you are eager to help but you only share with few people. That is understandable because only a few would appreciate it.
Is it enough to communicate my desire for understanding and showing inquisitive stance for them to be willing to share?

Yeah, enlighten me. How does this work?
 
Our Introverted-Intuition means that we're constantly in our own heads. Thus, when we share something that we consider to be "deep" we are often very selective about who we share it with. An ENFP buddy of mine once announced to a group of people that I (SeanSuqared) was an amazing artist and that everyone should checkout my work online. I didn't share any of my art with him for months, since he betrayed my trust, and proved to be unreliable in social situations. He has sinced realized that when I share something with him, it's meant for him exclusively.

[SOUNDCLOUD]https://soundcloud.com/user493238787/infj-trust/[/SOUNDCLOUD]
 
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You need to be worthy for Ni info.

INFJs require trust and some degree of kindness.
INTJs require some sort of logical benefit to sharing their thoughts.
 
Well, this is something I'm a little confused about. I don't doubt that I am an INFJ, since every test I take prove it (even when I think I wouldn't get the same result), but I don't really know if I'm that selective about giving my trust or information to certain people. Sometimes I even think that I might bring too much information to everyother person I meet. Why is that?
Okej, there are certain topics I'm not willing to share with anyone, but isn't that part of being human?
I somewhat feel that the only reason for me NOT telling a specifik thought is that the person at hand wouldn't be interested or not able to understand it. It's not really about trust, I feel.

But I could be wrong! Perhaps there is a part of me not willing to share with everyone... I have just misunderstood or not found it yet.
 
beat with a $5 wrench until they talk.
 
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Erlian said:
You need to be worthy for Ni info.

INFJs require trust and some degree of kindness.
Click to expand...

I think that is a pretty good way to get an INFJ to open up. Other than that, just listen. Listen and ask follow-up questions. If there's a genuine effort done to open up a person, it will probably happen.
 
people i engage with need to be authentic and show genuine interest in the topic
 
Oscillation said:
Well, this is something I'm a little confused about. I don't doubt that I am an INFJ, since every test I take prove it (even when I think I wouldn't get the same result), but I don't really know if I'm that selective about giving my trust or information to certain people. Sometimes I even think that I might bring too much information to everyother person I meet. Why is that?
Okej, there are certain topics I'm not willing to share with anyone, but isn't that part of being human?
I somewhat feel that the only reason for me NOT telling a specifik thought is that the person at hand wouldn't be interested or not able to understand it. It's not really about trust, I feel.

But I could be wrong! Perhaps there is a part of me not willing to share with everyone... I have just misunderstood or not found it yet.
Click to expand...

I'm with you. I can be really open to total strangers.
But I do feel that most INFJs and to a lesser extent INTJs (dunno about INxPs) are quite reserved in what they share about their thoughts.
But there are definitely some exceptions to this 'rule'.
 
As I see it other might share other things, but not their thoughts - their inner being - but that's what I strive for in every meeting. Okej, perhaps not "every meeting", but you know what I mean (I hope).
 
Get drunk with us, haha.

I usually share with people that I feel do not have sensitive egos. The worst is when a completely calm, rational discussion turns into a dick measuring contest or a monologue on their part.


I think asking how we feel about a topic, situation, or theory usually elicits response. At least for me, I really like to talk.
 
syntax confusion. What you strive for in every meeting is to share or the opposite?
 
If our bizzare or idiosyncratic natures pop out, go with it and don't be judgmental.
 
I've always thought I am too open and share all of my inner thoughts and then I moved in with an ENFJ and OMG has she opened up my eyes! I barely tell anyone anything nor do I really even speak in comparison to her! :)

I've realised that while I do chat openly about my life, I am really reserved about my inner thought processes and my imagination. Over the years there's been a lot of those expressions on people's faces when you say something and you can almost hear them thinking "you are really strange".

I have to really trust people to let them have access to that part of my mind but I find that when I do, they enable me to have an even more vivid imagination. I am lucky to know those people :)
 
Arising Tale said:
Apparently, you are eager to help but you only share with few people. That is understandable because only a few would appreciate it.
Is it enough to communicate my desire for understanding and showing inquisitive stance for them to be willing to share?

Yeah, enlighten me. How does this work?
Click to expand...

Just ask them the question you want answered and see what happens
 
If you're someone who I have observed as being habitually prone to episodes of verbal spillage (and then apologise immediately by saying or feeling embarrassed about "accidentally" divulging personal info) and you ask me a question then you're gonna get a flat and general response.

However if you're trustworthy and authentic - ask me anything.....I would be thrilled to share my heart, my thoughts, my insights with you but there's always a part of me that is continually gauging how much you're able to handle.
 
Isabella said:
If you're someone who I have observed as being habitually prone to episodes of verbal spillage (and then apologise immediately by saying or feeling embarrassed about "accidentally" divulging personal info) and you ask me a question then you're gonna get a flat and general response.

However if you're trustworthy and authentic - ask me anything.....I would be thrilled to share my heart, my thoughts, my insights with you but there's always a part of me that is continually gauging how much you're able to handle.
Click to expand...
Do you sometimes fail to recognize very authentic and trustworthy people to the point where you leave them no normal means to show you otherwise?
 
muir said:
It might depend on what they think is in your heart
Click to expand...
and how does this play out? We are getting a little speculative here, metaphysics and etc. What d you mean by heart? fi?
 
Arising Tale said:
and how does this play out? We are getting a little speculative here, metaphysics and etc. What d you mean by heart? fi?
Click to expand...

Well the problem is that INFJ's have to explain to some types what a heart is
 
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