How do you feel about your introvertedness? | INFJ Forum

How do you feel about your introvertedness?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 26, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, introvertedness is often looked at as a negative trait, suggesting antisocial behavior, dissociation from life and the people around you, inability to relate to the larger world, loner status, extreme insecurity, intrapersonal or interpersonal difficulties, lack of capable social and people skills. Now, these are stereotypes of the introvert, so how do you feel or relate to your introvertedness, or how you think it works positively or negatively with the other elements N, F, and J to create a different or uniquely personal experience or impression of being an introvert?

    In other words, describe how you see introvertedness on your own terms.
     
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    #1 Gaze, Sep 26, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2009
  2. Raccoon Love

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    I do not think being introvert is a bad trait, it's just the world that has this view of us, the world makes us seen so negatively but we need to know that it's not a bad thing!. Sure introverts have our weaknesses but nobody is perfect, extroverts have a lot of negative traits too. Sure we need time to recharge, we are not typically good in social situtations and we are hard to get to know, but hey..we are not the only one with negative traits..look at extroverts..a lot of them can never keep there mouth shut, screaming out their opinion before thinking etc...Introverts are not anti-social, we just need time to recharge, reflect upon our lives, Though we can be seen as cold and less friendly, once we find a person we are truly friends with, our loyalty and warmth can be bigger than any extroverts, Extroverts may be all happy go lucky, outgoing but when it comes down I think having few friends which truly understand you and you can trust in is way better than having 100000 friends which you talk to a lot but when it comes down, they are not ''real'' friends. I think I and E have both their weaknesses and their strenghts, and all other elements(N,S,F,T,J,P) all give us special specific characteristics that are unique to you as a person, and to go even further, we have percentages of this preferences, so in the end we are all different and have out own strenghts and weaknesses. I think that INFJ is a very good personality like all others, we might be lacking preferences for E,S,T, and P but we have our other traits which gives us our strenght. Besides as we grow as people I think we learn to acquire other characteristics that we do not typically have, and that's the beauty about life, keep on learning and experiencing, though hard(specially for us being a minority) always look at the positive side, that's all I got to say.
     
  3. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    Wow...ok This is too much thought for a saturday...My introvertedness...is debilitating at times...so much to the point that I even disappear from the Intraweb for long periods of time and dont leave my house.

    I like to watch people, not interact with them. Perhaps that makes me a loner, but I am not insecure about myself at all. Its not insecurity that makes me socially disengaged, its not superiority either. Its the simple FACT that I am different from them. I watch them because their ways are so different from mine They seem so alien. I want to know them...but I am VERY shy. Not insecure about anything, just really shy...

    I have to be approaced, but in a social setting I have been called intimidating, menacing, and mysterious. No one wants to approach a woman like me...See the avatar...yea I wear that face in any social situation...not intentionally but...well yea
     
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  4. Wyote

    Wyote Dad of the Ded
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    For me personally, I find it funny when I hear such accusations. My introverted ways have been a conscious choice in my life. I can be quite good at relating to others, but the majority of the time I prefer the company of my own mind. Others are a constant jarring disappointment, whereas I only disappoint myself on a moderate intrinsic level.

    Being a judging type with high moral standards pulls me into introversion as a safeguard, while being a feeling type with constant disappointment in the world gives me every reason to stay there. The introverted intuition is the glue that keeps them all together.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    Yeah, great response. I tend to look at it in very much the same terms.
     
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    #5 Gaze, Sep 26, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2009
  6. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    I Love what u wrote, thanks for posting this, I feel the exact same way as u do
     
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  7. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I follow you, and also agree. I am quite happy being an intravert. Leaping first, and looking second has never seemed like the better recourse to me. It's unfortunate that our society now places such a high value on youth, celebrity, and money. It favors the extravert greatly. We introverts have to try harder, even if we happen to be very talented.

    I think we all feel more comfortable in our minds here. We can create the perfection that we, again and again, fail to find in others and in our own lives. Those who don't really understand, will call it "Fantasizing" or Daydreaming". And it can be that (with all the negative conatations) if you let it. But for many, I think we recognize it as one way that people can deal with the complexites and disappoinments of the world. We need dreamers just as much as organizers and doers. The more we can turn our dreams (even small ones) into something, the better we and the world will be.
     
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    #7 Questingpoet, Sep 28, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2009
  8. OP
    Gaze

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    Exactly.
     
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  9. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    I agree... I am proud of mine, yet even still, it gets in the way sometimes somewhat, but I don't really mind as much anymore now that I'm older. :smile:


    but I know there r times when it does get to me for sure.
     
  10. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Introvertedness isn't social disfunction. In fact, it's often liked by society, because introverts will think before they speak ;)

    It's never much bothered me. I actually wished I was a bit more introverted, because I think it would help me if I felt more comfortable taking time to myself.
     
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  11. Raccoon Love

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    ..really? everything I ever hear about introversion is negative..lol..My parents constantly tell me how I need to be more social, that I cannot clam myself up from the rest of the world, that I need to be more outgoing, more assertive, more everything and they still have the mentality that introverts are all some kind of nerds who have no friends, live insider a shell, are different from all society, etc etc.. I get kind of mad at my parents when they mention such things, to the point that I would avoid responding to them completly..and go listen to music the whole day in my room..this adds to even more conflict however, I tried to explain to them that it's not such a bad thing and it has a lot of positives that extroverts lack but they stll give me the same respond, ''being introverted is bad''. Since my introversion is more polarized, I been criticized by all sorts of people, which include family, friends of my parents, kids in school etc..
     
  12. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    My introvertedness makes up a core part of me and my personality. Part of what makes me special is my being a deep introvert at times. I am unlike most people I know and most people tell me that my personality is unique. And part of that are my quirks like being an introvert. Hating phones, preferring to write, spending time alone, going to movies alone. I dunno its like it keeps up honest in that we are always taking personal time to recharge our emotional batteries which the entire world is draining constantly. I find other introverts to be extreamly easy to get along with once you get them to trust you. im so rambling right now.
     
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  13. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

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    i feel special but most of the times, i find it very very hard...:m049:
     
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  14. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    I enjoy it now. I feel better when I'm introverted. Though I like my short stints of extroversion they wear me out.

    I think my biggest problem is that I can switch from being introverted to extroverted and I did it so often as a kid, because I wanted to accept and be friends with everyone, that the introverts hated me because I could talk and be around everyone as I pleased and the extroverts misunderstood me when I withdrew away to hang out with someone more introverted. Now I'm just plain introverted but for some reason I'm finding myself reverting back drastically to my extrovert-then-introvert ways which I can see is confusing the heck out of people.
     
  15. OP
    Gaze

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    As much as I'd love to say I like being an introvert, my experiences have been mostly negative and painful. It seems we need to prove our worth more because of it. However comfortable you may feel about you, it's difficult to feel positive about such an interesting quality when you receive only negative or apathetic treatment. It gets annoying very quickly when everyone makes it their personal project to relieve you of your seemingly restrictive shell, only to bask in the light of extraversion. (yeah, just a tad bit bitter . . . still). It's also not a positive when you've been told or repeatedly lead to believe that something is wrong with you. It's kinda difficult to feel comfortable in your own skin with all those messages floating around in your head.

    I'm just sayin' :m035:
     
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    #15 Gaze, Sep 29, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2009
  16. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Introversion is appreciated in different ways. Relationship-wise, people tend to like extroverts because they are more "exciting." But introverts are better naturally at listening, solitary work, etc., which is appreciated by many in a work or education setting. And introverts don't have to be hermits, just like extroverts don't have to be social butterflies; really, even some extroverts don't have the "positives" of being extroverted (my ENTJ sister, for instance, could give two craps about being social and all that; she's got her goals to attend to!)

    So it's a matter of perception there ;)
     
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  17. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    I find that being an introvert makes it harder to go out and meet people/do social things. You tend to be more tired at the end of everything, and need to retreat to recharge.

    It can be very frustrating.
     
  18. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Society is built for extroverted sensors, so that's what's appreciated most. Most things introversion achieved aren't easily publicly displayed and thus not seen or appreciated much.

    Mind you I don't think being socially disengaged is a particularly worthwhile trait. But I also don't necessarily associate this with introversion. Although it's mostly introverts who really display this, extroverts frequently do too. Someone who's egocentric or narcissistic may have social contacts, but they may be extremely shallow and meaningless. They can have no real friends the same way a withdrawn introvert won't have real friends, it's just that it's a lot easier to see in the introvert.

    I don't see my introversion as a negative. It doesn't mean I can't do anything anyone else can, it just means I need less socialization to be content, and that has upsides as well as downsides.
     
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  19. Solar Empath

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    Well, if the extroverts would stop and think for just a second, they would realize that being an introvert is in fact superior in every conceivable way!

    Kidding! :mjediyr:

    On a serious note, I used to let the whole introvert = bad thing bug me, but then I realized something: I like who I am and have no real desire to be an extrovert. Besides, extroverts don't even know who they are, let alone who I am! It's like a blind man telling me that sight is an undesirable trait!(kidding again)
     
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  20. Norton

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    Unlike extroverts, people should do their thinking in silence and not impose it on the rest of us. Thinking out loud is bad manners.
     
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