How do you feel about feeling? | INFJ Forum

How do you feel about feeling?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Satya, Jul 16, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by Satya
  1. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    Meta-cognition is known as thinking about thinking, and knowing about knowing. Awareness of meta-cognition gives an individual the ability to evaluate their thoughts and perceptions. It allows them to know how their perceptions and thoughts translate into actions.

    This makes me wonder if there is Meta-emotion. Do people have feelings about feeling? I think it only stands to reason that if our cognition can cognate about itself, then our feelings should be able to feel about themselves.


     
  2. Odyne

    Odyne ===========
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2009
    Threads:
    156
    Messages:
    6,035
    Featured Threads:
    7
    Likes Received:
    6,533
    Trophy Points:
    887
    MBTI:
    Enneagram:
    Feelings frustrate me sometimes.

    Edit: Wait. I have to clarify that.

    My own feelings frustrate me sometimes. They make absolutely no sense, and therefore I avoid talking about them. I simply cannot explain how I feel. I would KNOW how I feel, but I wouldn't know how to explain them or put them in words. In other words, I am incapable of expressing them in words. Actions probably, but not words.

    Others people feelings on the other hand, I understand very well, and sometimes even relate to. So they don't frustrate me at all. I am capable of handling an emotional person and providing kind and loving words that help them wipe a tear and move on.

    So I guess, your theory can be valid. We can feel about feelings as much as we can think about thoughts.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 Odyne, Jul 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  3. Wyote

    Wyote (#/-\[]$ ([]`/[]'|'[-
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    254
    Messages:
    39,001
    Featured Threads:
    19
    Likes Received:
    216,400
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    954 so/sx
    Hmm, that is a tricky slope there. Seems like you would have to think about what you feel before you could feel about what you felt. Wouldn't it just be feeling again? Not truly meta-emotion? I don't know. Interesting thought though.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    Hm...well if expression of feelings is meta-emotion, then perhaps things like art are the product of meta-emotion. As people attempt to become aware of the feelings and give them some form or purpose, they create material expressions. Maybe poetry is the linguistic form of meta-emotion.
     
  5. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    I would say that feeling about feeling would require some medium for comprehension. But then maybe feelings are not meant to be understood.
     
  6. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2009
    Threads:
    197
    Messages:
    6,503
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,727
    Trophy Points:
    380
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    This.

    Also, I feel that feelings can be overrated, or underrated, at times. Overexposed, underexposed. Exploited.

    But the thought of meta-emotion intrigues me..I think that above (My words; not Odyne's) isn't meta-emotions....
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 Trifoilum, Jul 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  7. testing

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2009
    Threads:
    37
    Messages:
    902
    Likes Received:
    90
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    qwer
    Oh, yes, absolutely, people have feelings about feelings. Many people are afraid of them and take great pains to try to avoid them.
     
  8. athenian200

    athenian200 Protocol Droid
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2010
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    77
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I feel that feeling is an experience that can be wonderful sometimes, but very painful most of the time.

    I feel that empathy and compassion are very beautiful sentiments, and that it's almost worth the pain to be able to experience those feelings once in a while.

    That's how I feel about it.
     
    Odyne likes this.
  9. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Threads:
    33
    Messages:
    2,042
    Likes Received:
    504
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5w4
    Odyine said it nicely, she has a frustration feeling about her feelings, so, yeah, there are feelings about feelings.

    It's like when you like someone and feel bad that you like them because of some reason. There are layers of feelings in every person but some are probably more aware of them than others. Ruling and awareness of more than one layer of feelings is very important and can take a person very far in self development.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    I was thinking about this and I think a lot of our problems revolve around lack of awareness of our meta-emotion. As Roosevelt put it, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." We spend so much of our lives being stressed out, anxious, bewildered, helpless, confused, insecure, ashamed, embarrassed, guilty, apathetic, disheartened, etc. and we spend time trying to think of the reasons why we feel this way and tweak our perspectives in an attempt to change how we feel. Maybe this is why there is still a place for psychoanalytic theory in therapy. We may need to feel out our feelings more than think them out. The primary purpose of emotion is to draw our attention and to motivate us to take some sort of action. The only way we can usually alleviate emotion is to take action. Where meta-emotion and meta-cognition seem to converge is in the nature of the action we choose to take. In fact, much of human life seems to be the struggle of choosing actions which satisfy both our intellect and our desire.

    This is a fascinating line of reasoning given the neurobiological implication. We are mammals, with a sophisticated limbic system created from our sense of smell, driven to regulate both our internal and external systems by emotional states, but we possess the capacity to choose how we do so, but only if we are aware of both the nature of our emotion and the nature of our perceptions.

    This is how I know that if there is a God, he is a twisted fuck. By our very design, we will always feel before we think. Reason just becomes a constant reminder that we are animals reacting to our internal states and external environment. Hm...so if this is the case, then meta-emotion must serve the purpose of overcoming our mammalian response to react, and choose instead to act in accordance with what is reasonable. Emotions that motivate us to choose action based on thought rather than on emotion...is basically the definition of virtue. Temperance, patience, courage, kindness, humility, diligence, etc.

    ROFL! Wouldn't that be a riot! Meta-emotion the pursuit of virtue? Not horribly unlike given that meta-cognition is the pursuit of understanding.

    Hm...understanding and virtue. There is a deep existential well of meaning to that which transcends a single human lifetime. You literally could spend your entire life trying to understand a person or trying to live up to one virtue.

    Life really is an art of expression.
     
    #10 Satya, Jul 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  11. testing

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2009
    Threads:
    37
    Messages:
    902
    Likes Received:
    90
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    qwer
    Have you ever read "The Art of Virtue" by Benjamin Franklin? In part of it, he sets about trying to become more virtuous and he documents in the book that he had a little difficulty with chastity! He was a puritan, but he was a very honest one...

    I've always thought emotions were much stronger than reason. People do need to feel out their feelings, sometimes, at least I've noticed that those who go ahead and feel whatever it is they are feeling feel less inclined to try to escape those feelings. People do not, however, always need to act on their feelings. We often assume we do need to act on them, (i.e. I am angry so I am going to punch that person...) because we do not understand how to feel or express them, so we act on them, and sometimes when we are driven by emotion to do something instead of simply feel it, we make huge mistakes that our rational minds would never condone. If you feel something out, it will eventually (sometimes quickly) go away and then you can start thinking.

    (Could that have been any more incoherent?)
     
    Trifoilum likes this.
  12. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Threads:
    62
    Messages:
    6,560
    Likes Received:
    1,909
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Beep Boop
    Enneagram:
    Beep Boop
    I get frustrated with myself over feeling. Most of the time I prefer not to feel, so when those feeling crop up I start getting a little hard on myself because I feel like I should be "stronger" than that.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    442
    Likes Received:
    38
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Agree! I think this is pretty typical of INFJs... our feelings are very complex, and our desire to describe things precisely makes us want to communicate EXACTLY how we're feeling... which is not very compatible with complex emotions!!

    Yes, definitely people emote about emotions.
     
  14. driro

    driro Community Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Threads:
    6
    Messages:
    121
    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    ?
    How do I feel about feelings? Well, for me, I condemn feeling. My own feelings make me weak and fearful.
     
  15. Phoenix Down

    Phoenix Down Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2010
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    968
    Likes Received:
    173
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENTP
    Enneagram:
    3w?
    Allow me to be a stereotypical NT...

    Feelings?
    does not compute :m058:

    Let me try again...
    Feelings?
    Those are for the weak!:m177:

    I'm done.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    ROFL. In some cases, I think awareness of emotion is enough to make the emotion go away. However, in some cases you have to act on an emotion or replace it with a different emotion. Suppressing or repressing emotions is almost invariably a bad idea.

    I think virtues have been misused. I think they are meant to be motivators based on reasoning. However, I some people who refuse to understand the reasoning behind the virtues have distorted them to give them a license to act out lesser emotions like disgust, anger, and fear.

    Take for example the virtue of courage. Courage is the virtue of acting when you need to act, even when you are afraid. However, some people don't understand what courage is, and they may act rashly, without reason, to demonstrate that they are without fear. This is bravery, and it is not a virtue. It is the act of being ignorant of fear. Brave people don't necessarily need to act, or they can find more reasonable ways to act.

    But that isn't to say its objective. There is inherent subjectivity to both emotions and virtues. The degree to which you understand and have knowledge shapes virtue.
     
    Trifoilum likes this.
  17. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2009
    Threads:
    197
    Messages:
    6,503
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,727
    Trophy Points:
    380
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    ...hmmm. I wonder how would meta-feeling / meta-emotions work....

    No, I even began to wonder how could we define meta-feeling and meta-emotions. Feeling about feeling? Emotions about emotion? Huh? Huh? *began to went crazy*

    I feel like I've just passed through something too big for me little brain to understand. @_@
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Satya likes this.
  18. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,388
    Messages:
    28,146
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,880
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    I'm very aware of my feelings, and i will spend long periods of time ruminating on these feelings, and why i feel the way i do. I'll try to rationalize them or argue against them i.e. validity, because i don't trust most of what i feel. It's stereotypically "too emotional." Feeling is good when it allows you feel for someone else and express sympathy, concern, or emotion. But for myself, i dislike how much i'm affected by "feeling". I wish i was less of a feeler - i think life would be much easier, and i would handle things a lot better.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #18 Gaze, Jul 16, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  19. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Threads:
    540
    Messages:
    7,278
    Likes Received:
    547
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INXP
    Maybe meta-feeling is intuition. Maybe it is wisdom. They say wisdom is knowing what is truly important. It's the ability to distinguish between the changeable and the unchangeable. What is worth investing emotional energy into and what is worth letting go. So many possibilities.
     
  20. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Threads:
    762
    Messages:
    14,154
    Likes Received:
    1,298
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2 sx/so/sp
    Feelings suck. I want 90% of my feelings to go away because they get in the way of logical reasoning, what is right and wrong, and how things should be done. They do have their purpose. It is good to have understand of other peoples feelings, that gives you logic and reason when you interact with them and how best to deal with them. However your own feelings largely get in the way of this process.

    At this point and time I simply just try to push them aside to the best of my ability, and determine what is warranted and unwarented. I recently had a conversation about such a thing with my mom and grandparents, and they agreed with me and my observations (because a part of me had wondered if I was being heavily blinded by myself and being unhealthy). They reaffirmed that what I do is largely correct (albeit painful).
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page