[INFJ] - How did elementary school experiences influence you? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] How did elementary school experiences influence you?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Learner, Jan 30, 2021.

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  1. Learner

    Learner Regular Poster

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    As much as I have loved learning over the years, I was really turned off early on. I found myself daydreaming most of the time. School was simply not fun for me and had this idea that I should be just as excited as when it was recess and we were all playing. I envisioned something similar to what Sudbury Valley School in Massachusettes is today--a more individualized approach with assessments that would identify interests and learning style.

    I think the early grades are essential for building foundational skills. From that point on, I would like to see fewer subjects, but deeper content and exploration based on the preference of the individual student.

    I don't pretend to be pollyannish and think it is simple to make changes of this sort quickly or easily. However, It seems like a good direction to move towards.

    I would be interested in hearing other perspectives and experiences. Did this move you toward becoming an INFJ?
     
  2. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I didn't like it very much, I didn't come to appreciate school until much later. University. A lot of early school seemed useless to me. I didn't understand what it was for or the long-term importace of education.

    If I could go back to elementary school I would have studied a lot more and worked even harder.
     
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  3. OP
    Learner

    Learner Regular Poster

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  4. Winterflowers

    Winterflowers Community Member

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    I observed that the best way to be invisible was not to be quiet, but to be somebody else. And also that if my life was lived in fear, it wouldn't be lived at all.
     
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  5. OP
    Learner

    Learner Regular Poster

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    Ironically, my daughter has taught for 20 years in elementary schools. We've had hours of conversation about all of this. Some of the thoughts that have come out of those include:
    1) Most teachers are like most other professionals. They are outstanding in their field, they work very hard, often pay out of their pockets for essentials that students need to learn (pencils, paper, etc.),.
    2) The time to really teach is constantly being reduced by testing requirements and other administrative issues.
    3) The larger culture has shifted to make teachers feel like they are babysitting, versus shaping the creative minds of the students.
    4) Like other fields, eventually the system becomes overloaded and needs reform.
    5) Reform is very slow by its nature. But pilot projects and sharing of best practices (not only for the teacher's sake, but the higher level legislators who are well-meaning, but placing requirements on the system that can't be met easily or may even be awry.
    6) Ironically, the COVID-19 virus has given us an opportunity to look at online learning vs. in-class learning. In my mind these are not either/or decisions, but both/and realities. We get a chance to experiment and see the advantages of each. My guess is that there are other options in learning that could be tested during this period of time.
    7) Like the nature of INFJ's I have been given this a lot of thinking, and abruptly and half-heartedly said about a year ago...maybe we should call the school year off, give every student credit for the year, no grades, BUT have the teachers experiment with approaches they've always dreamed of, and collect information to improves outcomes as best as we can assess. Maybe, it would have meant meeting in a park in small groups, having students help others, learn about their communities. The little ones can learn more than we sometimes give them credit. I was more than halfway kidding when I made these comments. It's still not too late.

    Sorry, got a little carried away, but I came to the forum hoping that this would thoughtfully be allowed. I would love to hear others' views.
     
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  6. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    I think some of the comments from my teachers on my report cards demonstrates my elementary school experience. Behold, my comments from a couple of my very earliest report cards:

    Junior Kindergarten 1st term:
    And then 2nd Term:

    Kindergarten:
    I can't find my other report cards right now but I have one from grade 3. I basically got C's across the board for my listening skills. My notebooks were neat and organized but there is a specific comment about not hearing oral instructions. Writing was good and my work itself was good, but I just didn't pay any attention. My "mature behaviour" is noted as a good influence on other students (around this grade teachers started placing "bad" kids with me to calm them down). I would say the same kinds of struggles followed me through the rest of my grades.

    A theme for me through all of school was to never do my assignments on time or at all. I had extremely bad anxiety and when I was 11 or 12 started having panic attacks regularly. I despised group work, I hated school trips and I always felt out of place. I think I was always very emotionally reserved, kept to myself and didn't want to share any of myself with anyone. When you are in therapy in elementary school because you can't leave the house or do anything without having a panic attack it becomes even harder to relate to your peers. When you do have friends and have to continuously back out from social events and doing things together because your anxiety is fucking you up, it makes having close friendships at that age even harder. At that age you just don't have the vocabulary to understand it or even communicate it to other kids.

    I always received positive comments about my writing and any sort of art I had to produce but anything that required physical participation, socializing or sharing anything of myself gave me a great deal of anxiety. I always felt like shit because of the anxiety. I also experienced some bullying. Some of it earlier on wasn't so bad but I had some extreme bullying by a couple of boys that were a year older than me and I think that drove me even further inward but I never told anyone about it and pretended it wasn't happening. By the time high school rolled around my anxiety was fully fucked and I wanted to kill myself so that was nice.

    I think because of what I was going through internally I never developed strong interests in anything. I didn't have any solid concept of what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I had no vision for what my life could be like. I pretty much just suffered through panic disorder and suicidal depression and that was my life. I had no emotional space for homework or projects so I could only really excel at anything we had to do at our desks on the spot and somehow managed to do OK on tests. I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but managed to get by. I had friendships but over time I watched my friends become closer with each other and I was more on the outskirts of other people's lives and that's how it went for me when I was young.

    Did this move me towards being an INFJ? I don't know. I think it's clear that from an early age I had some issues and how that played into MBTI, I don't know. My personality was basically however I was coping with being anxious or depressed. I don't really think about it unless it comes up.
     
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  7. Winterflowers

    Winterflowers Community Member

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    Wow, their report cards for you are really in-depth. (not sarcasm)
     
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  8. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    They are required to write a LOT. You can NOT copy and paste anything student to student. It's a whole thing according an elementary teacher friend of mine.
     
  9. Hostarius

    Hostarius Dad Bodinem

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    I was a high school teacher, but here the focus switched to the marking of books and we weren't actually required to write a subject report. Instead, we had software (imposed by the CEO of the academy trust for his own profit) which auto-generated a 'report' based on the data of grades (&c.) in the system. Our students will have a booklet of numbers to remember their schooling by.

    It was a poor trade-off, since I always felt that the subject report (tied to a parents' evening) was a milestone event in the development of students. Parental encouragement and recognition is a powerful tool in signposting that growth trajectory and helping to maintain learning momentum.

    I did my own thing anyway (and I'll post an example), creating a report format to meet these goals, though I didn't impose it on my teachers (I was acting Head of Department at the time) because they were overworked as it is. Instead they came up with their own solutions, using the time to experiment since none of us agreed with the idea of not writing reports.


    The marking policy we had imposed upon us was fucking terrible. It entailed 20-30 hours of book marking per week because we were required to mark every page, and yet didn't have to produce these milestone feedback events like yearly reports. This was simply because the school leadership wanted our green ink on every page for the sake of looking good to school inspectors, rather than having more learning-focused marking objectives.
     

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  10. Hostarius

    Hostarius Dad Bodinem

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    I've heard a lot of this in snippets, but it's something else when you put it together into a single narrative and then remember that it's a child we're talking about here.

    It was interesting to read what your character was like at that age and detect the echoes of the woman.

    I'd copy my own reports but my mum has them.
     
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  11. TedyBo

    TedyBo Lucky

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    many people think that children do not need grades in elementary school, but I am sure that this is necessary. Grades motivate children.
     
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  12. CaitlinRae2192

    CaitlinRae2192 Community Member

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    In hindsight, I'm seriously so thankful for never having been popular at all, and friends with all of the "outcasts" that no one popular could for one second treat with deceny or kindness. I'm glad that I was encountered severe assholery from those people, and took vigilante like justice into my own hands for the ones I saw receiving the same bullshit lol. It taught me early on how not to ever treat people, knowing what I went through and how that made me feel. Hilarious thing is, it is a LONG fall from the high school pedestal! It's like those people peaked in high school and now they no longer have any of the things they had going for them back then. Karma is a bitch peeps...
     
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  13. InfernoMink

    InfernoMink Community Member

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    Elementary school was an amazing experience for me. That’s the problem with my stories. They are filled with so much experience that I couldn’t sum it all up in just 2-3 paragraphs.
     
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  14. detectivepope

    detectivepope Permanent Fixture

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    They taught me I outperformed everyone else and was kept separate because of such things
     
  15. OP
    Learner

    Learner Regular Poster

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    I have been writing in my journal for a few weeks now, researching and reflecting on the different aspects that seem to form our personalities: home life, school life, work-life, people we interact with, and experiences that we've had. They all seem to be a tapestry of threads that are interwoven to shape our values, beliefs, and morals and the uniqueness of who we are. As a result, I have seen how much my parents gave of all they had, school was not pleasant for me, but it was no one's fault, work was rich with mistakes and aha moments, and experiences spread across all of those elements.

    The good news is that we have the opportunity to continue to grow every day and learn more about ourselves and the environment that we interact with.
     
  16. OP
    Learner

    Learner Regular Poster

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