This is the one thing that I will draw from anything invented by Tyler Perry.
Some people are meant to be in your life for a season and you just have to let them leave when it is their time to go.
Paraphrased a bit but the concept is genuine. People change. You do. I do. We do. Your friends do. Sometimes things just fall apart, nothing wrong with that and sometimes it is for the best of both of you to move on. Just cherish the time you had together, that's the best thing to do really.
I always had this fantasy or ideal in my head that everything should last forever, and it would hurt when i imagined that it didn't or couldn't. Then i realized that it's not so bad. what makes it difficult is when one person wants to move on, and the other still sees a future with the person. But simply because one person wants to move in a different direction doesn't mean that what you've had was meaningless or any less important or significant. Maybe, there's something better waiting, and even if there isn't, you can enjoy the good times you had and take lessons learned with you.
People change, and sometimes who they change into is no longer compatible with the same types of things they used to be. I have grown apart from a number of friends over the years. However I realise it is growing apart, and although it is sad in some respects, I do not let it bother me. Its strange though as it seems like the other party often does not see the growing apart and wishes to hang on. If I grow apart from someone, I can no longer connect to them and as such see no point in maintaining a friendship. Its quite frusterating when the other person simply does not get that.
When I consider someone a good friend, I am loyal to the death for them.
My last good friend was very nasty to me over a long period of time. At every opportunity he would say the most critical and harsh things about how I run things at work. Eventually he ended up hating me because I would not take his advice on how he thought I should change my policies. Despite this, I was always loyal as a friend to him and tried to behave as though the workplace difficulties were compartmentalised to that environment only.
In retrospect, I think my friend was trying to be manipulative and grew to hate me because I am virtually un-manipulable. My loyalty and keen interest for him to be happy lasted for a couple years after we last spoke in a friendly way. Over time my solicitude for his wellbeing has faded into indifference (or down to the level at which I care for strangers, which is not indifferent, but is very mild).
I am very reluctant to consider people my friends anymore, since I know it sets me into a mentality which is very costly personally.
Well, I agree with many of your posts---that there definitely are "seasons" for some people. However, I realize that as I grow older, the people I chose to make friends with are people that I love intrinsically for being themselves. My deepest interest in people are their inner "essences" I guess you could say? People also who have the minds to keep their essences too.
So more than completely changing, the people that are dearest to me are those who develop themselves. As I develop too, there's a lot to talk about with them. The only way you can maintain relationships (friendships) with people is when there's a mutual understanding of the inner person. That of course, takes trust, time, and a great deal of love.
friend of mine once told me there's a reason why the people in your past didn't make it to your future~ perhaps a blessing in disguise.