Gender Dysphoria | INFJ Forum

Gender Dysphoria

Sep 20, 2009
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Can someone explain to me what exactly is gender dysphoria? And if this leads to transsexualism? I am confused on the matter. I know a lot of gender stereotypes are socially constructed, but is there an actual biological base to them? I don't fit most gender stereotypes. I despise violence. I am not into video games or cars. The highest "qualities" my friends attribute to me is my "compassion and kindness". My voice is rather effeminate. I am told that I am overly sensitive and emotional. I don't understand my same sex often. In short, many people including some friends of mine tell me that I am practically a woman. This has bothered me and left me in doubt for a long time. I know this personality traits are not black and white, and that not everyone fits the mold. But in each area, I find myself almost in the opposite spectrum of what many think of what a "man" should be like.

At first, I thought that this is simply myself. And that I should just accept this as part of my personality and that I will be able to move forward in life. However, some later issues arrived. When it comes to relationships, I have always pictured myself as being protected to a certain extent. I am attracted to masculine personalities. When it comes to sexually related things, I often picture myself being a receiver or submissive. When it comes to physique, I really can't picture myself growing to be an older man. I am attracted to masculine figures, but I am afraid growing into one myself.

Now when it comes to biological parts, I am not really sure. I have pictured myself as a female before, but I am not so entirely bothered about having male genitals. I am not sure how such change would go, and if I would be truly ready to see myself in an entirely different manner.

I am just confused about this issue. And once again I apologize for making mention of the same gender stereotypes I have often despised.
 
Honestly I wish that the stereotype wasn't so pushed, especially for men.
I think there's a difference between being transsexual and just "not fitting the mold."
It's okay, I don't fit the mold either for my gender, in pretty much any way. I found a man who didn't fit the mold for his gender either, and we're married now. It works. So I just leave the housekeeping to him, he enjoys interior design and other stuff. And honestly? I'm not bothered by this at all.

And yes, he's attracted to more masculine shapes. I have boobs, but other than that I am straight from my ribs to my hips and have quite a bit of muscle. Myself? I'm not attracted to "manly men." In my opinion six-pack abs, no matter how little defined, = eew. Sure, my husband can stand to lose about 40 pounds- he's growing moobs and has quite the childbearing hips.

He also sees himself as female, and I see myself more as male, at least in the context of our relationship, but we're content to keep our biological bodies.
 
Accept you for who you are. You may be confused b/c (USAmerican) culture is still very hush hush about various issues, so it is difficult for you to find normalcy or see how you fit in this world. What you have to realize is that none of it matters.