Friendship | INFJ Forum

Friendship

Discussion in 'Philosophy and Religion' started by Ren, Feb 18, 2018.

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  1. Ren

    Ren Secretary of State

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    “A friend to all is a friend to none.” Aristotle

    This might seem a bit of an obvious question, but really, what is friendship? What is special about it and what does a relationship between two people need to qualify as such?


    What do you think makes friendship special and rare?

    I look forward to your philosophical insights :)
     
  2. Wyote

    Wyote Castigat Ridendo Mores
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    I think perhaps a more healthy idea of friendship is a bit more free of traditional constraints.

    You can have a friend for a day, an hour or even just an instant. It's the connection. People know it when they feel it. When both people feel it and both people know that they both feel it, you have a friend.

    Aristotle had it right.
     
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  3. Pin

    Pin Commander-in Chief

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    I think friends are people who consistently help you get ahead: professionally, psychologically, etc.
     
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  4. Misadventure

    Misadventure butt fros and asian purrs

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    What this means to me is that someone who has a bunch of friends can't be a good friend to all of them. Basically spreading themselves too thin. I think that's simply untrue. I have many friends irl. Some closer than others, and some that bring different things to the table that the others do not.

    It also could simply mean that a person who is friendly to all doesn't make that person everyone's friend. There is a difference between friendship and being friendly with acquaintances and strangers.

    I love the way you put this, Wyotes. <3
    Indeed, it's the connection with another human being that makes friendship so precious.
     
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  5. James

    James Is this the Library ?
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    I think a true friend is someone who stands by you, but tells you the truth instead of what you want to hear.
     
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  6. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Facebook soiled the concept of friends for many. I'm a believer that to attract good friends one needs to be a good friend. I don't need a persons permission to be a good friend, yet I need them to be as close to authentic as they can for me to label them friend, otherwise they are merely a trusted acquaintance. :D
     
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  7. invisible

    On Holiday

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    For me it's someone who treats my sovereignty of self with respect at the same time as having my best interests at heart.
     
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  8. Icedream

    Icedream The Vibe

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    I don't know what a friend is. Maybe I'm a bit too liberal in who I call "friend"
     
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  9. Reason

    Reason Booze Baron

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    Trust and respect
    The very small number of people who deserve to be respected and can reasonably be trusted.
     
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  10. Wyote

    Wyote Castigat Ridendo Mores
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    Whatever friendship is, people have tended towards shredding my heart rather than mending it.
    Perhaps a friend is a heart mender, of sorts. I'd like that in a friend anyway.
    Not that I've been a stellar heart mender myself or anything. Just pontificating.
    I think most people want to be this for others, but it's tricky.
     
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  11. OP
    Ren

    Ren Secretary of State

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    I remember my dad telling me: "Be careful with calling this person a friend, you've only known him for what, one year? That's too early to call him a friend. Friendships develop over many years, when you know you can count on people and they can count on you."

    I remember feeling a bit encroached upon by this statement, thinking that he was only trying to impose his own personal understanding over mine. At the same time my dad is pretty smart, has a lot of life experience and a large amount of very good friends who are all great people (I can testify to that, it's uncanny how many people of great quality he has as friends). So maybe there is something to take away from what he said. Sometimes I'm just wondering: is it the chemistry that's more important to the friendship, or the consistency and reliability of a person over many years, even if there might not be total chemistry with that person (in terms, say, of conversation)?

    I've been disappointed many times, betrayed a few times, by people whom I thought were friends on account of the instantaneous chemistry I had with them. If I were asked today, I wouldn't say they "used to be my friends", though it felt that way at the time. I'd simply say they never really were. At least this is the way I feel. In the last few years I have tried to give a lot of time to friends that have always been there for me even if the pure chemistry I have with them might not be as strong as the chemistry I have with others.
     
    #11 Ren, Feb 19, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
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  12. Reason

    Reason Booze Baron

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    How does one friendship a Wyote? I want to so much.
     
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  13. Wyote

    Wyote Castigat Ridendo Mores
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    It's very difficult. There are trials.
     
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  14. Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Phantom Traveler
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    Agreed and sometimes the truth cuts like a knife.

    “Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.” Jim Morrrison

    “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” George Washington

    “It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” Marlene Dietrich

    “Real friends don’t give up on each other.” Me

    “The only true friend you have is yourself.” Me
     
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    #14 Happy Phantom, Feb 20, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
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  15. Reason

    Reason Booze Baron

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    ThirdMan1.jpg
    The name of the picture is ThirdMan1.jpg

    EDIT: and yes i made this myself
     
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  16. Wyote

    Wyote Castigat Ridendo Mores
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  17. Happy Phantom

    Happy Phantom Phantom Traveler
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    Renoir you have many friends. You are my first forum fb friend.

    To answer your question I have three true friends. One is ID another is my ESFJ friend I’ve known for over fifteen years, and @Lurk who always has my back.

    I’ll post more quotes later. lolz
     
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    #17 Happy Phantom, Feb 20, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
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  18. OP
    Ren

    Ren Secretary of State

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    Really?

    :m033:
     
  19. Happy Phantom

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    Yup. Why sad face? You get to see all the goofy nonsense I post. lol

    And now Wyote can see the Instagram pics I post late at night when I can’t sleep. lolz
     
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  20. OP
    Ren

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    Aristotle is really the man when it comes to insights on friendship. Here's to true, beautiful friendship!

    [​IMG]
     
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