When they seem like they're being careful around you or when they have a reason to have negative intentions
I question almost everyone's intentions, including my own, all the time. I think most people are deliriously unaware of the deeper motivations that drive them and how they have personality "tells".
When you sense a layer of deception about their actions/in their words
When you become wary in their presence for no reason you can think about
Just two days ago I realized I am evading against someone's attempt to pick me apart, and....I dunno whether that's good or not.
Yeah. It's interesting when it's us doing that-- our mind races to find an explanation that will get us off the heat, an explanation that will make us better...this is an interesting point because I realized I do this sometimes. I try to self protect but it comes across as hiding or deception. For example, I didn't want to be rude and share my personal criticism or feelings about something so I'll say that something was fine or ok. However, the person will probe and try to get more details as if i'm trying to keep a secret, when in my mind, I avoid something because I don't want to have to say something mean or rude.
Since most people don't question their own intentions, I am usually wary until there is some indication of self-knowledge.
Among the self aware there are usually a good number of deceptive, malicious individuals. They are usually given away by one of three things:
1. False humility, which always ends up sounding like boasting about personal shortcomings.
2. Playing innocent/dumb/victim.
3. An ability to say deep, meaningful things very articulately without any coy-ness, reflecting a complete emotional disinterest in deep/meaningful things.
Thanks
I....see a lot of people have the same tics as I am. ('what is unspoken and what is said and how do they say it')
Yes, but how do you first begin to suspect that? Like, what did you see that make you think "....is he being careful around me?" "Wait, is there something I don't know here?"
Also, @Nixie, I too question my own intention. Just two days ago I realized I am evading against someone's attempt to pick me apart, and....I dunno whether that's good or not.
I never really consider my own 'tell' though. I wonder what is mine.
There are a million possible ways someone could accomplish it, but it just clicks in my head. Usually something about their actions will stick out if it's out of the ordinary relative to what the situation would normally call for. It could be anything from a weird look, to changes in their tone of voice, to the fact that they are never around me but everyone else around me sees and talks to them a lot.
Thanks
I....see a lot of people have the same tics as I am. ('what is unspoken and what is said and how do they say it')
Yes, but how do you first begin to suspect that? Like, what did you see that make you think "....is he being careful around me?" "Wait, is there something I don't know here?"
Also, [MENTION=3096]Nixie[/MENTION], I too question my own intention. Just two days ago I realized I am evading against someone's attempt to pick me apart, and....I dunno whether that's good or not.
I never really consider my own 'tell' though. I wonder what is mine.
I agree that giving the benefit of the doubt is a fair strategy. However, I've also been in situations where I went into a situation very open and genuine, only to realize everyone else was playing a game. That made me feel so uncomfortable and tense, that lead becoming suspicious and being more distrustful of people in general. In other words, suspicious will often develop because others cause suspicion not because anyone goes in suspecting anything. And if you've had your trust broken and hurt on more than one occasion, its going to be tough to go into any situation with an open mind. Twice and three times bitten, a million times shy sort of thing.
Yeah. Wondering can cause craziness and paranoia too, though.
I some times wonder, what's the point of being safe if accomplishing it puts you into paranoid misery? I've been there where I don't trust anyone and after a while it gets old. Yeah I'm protecting myself, but what kind of life do I have as a result?
I question almost everyone's intentions, including my own, all the time. I think most people are deliriously unaware of the deeper motivations that drive them and how they have personality "tells".
When the smile isn't reflected in the eyes
When someone seems evasive or dismissive about details
When you sense a layer of deception about their actions/in their words
When you become wary in their presence for no reason you can think about
When you see them treat other's badly
When they act casually about something serious
When their behavior seems geared toward getting attention
When they act like a "damsel in distress" or "constant victim"