First relationship and feeling weird

[guav1]

I'm in my first ever relationship (im 20) and i sort of cant believe it bc ive always been so independent and have had difficulty finding people who i feel comfy with (who new??). im with an infp and we morally get on really well are both super sensitive to the world and all that stuff, we talk about mbti and they get me on that stuff. but its...weird? and a bit confronting? when i feel.... kind of alone.. in the infj way.. in our relationship? because it feels like... i guess a bit shattering to my idealistic standards that i should feel 100% comfy and easy if i'd ever be in a relationship. like how do you deal with that? with still feeling weird and outsiderish in a place/relationship where everything seems sooo perfect for you to be comfy. but i am comfy, i just dont get how people share themselves so much, when i only feel totally safe in my mind. im sort of struggling with being so close with someone because im so independent and am finding it hard being me and having my emotions and feelings 100% (i think feelings are amazing and beautiful and i want to experience them as fully as i can) but knowing that my emotions and how i deal with my feelings affects another person im in a relationship with freaks me out. its a bit stifling? how do i learn to deal with this? is this an infj type problem or are we just not suited? also tips on being confrontational? i accommodate so much all the time (im guessing u'll understand this) and feel like if im going to be in a relationship i dont want it to feel the same way i do when interacting with the normal outside world? other wise whats the point? and its scary realising that thats not possible. or is it? too idealistic and high infj standards. idk. is this all or nothing thinking? yeah idk if any of that makes sense im trying to work out my feelings i just know that ive started to feel a bit funny. i really dont want to go cold and distance myself and go into myself like w most people (even though theyre my friends and i like them im still...me?) because it's unfair to the person im seeing and me. i want this to work and i want to feel empowered in myself. i guess my real question is, is there always going to be a distance between me and others? even in romantic relationships?

please give wisdom thank you i feel so weird posting this but also not at all okay thanks

 

[DonTaushMe]

You're young. This is your first relationship. It wont be your last.

My suggestion to you would be to get comfortable with the fact that you will never be 100% satisfied in a relationship. 100% satisfaction between two people does not exist. If you are not ok with that fact then get comfortable with the idea of being alone.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

You shouldn't get so worked-up on your first experience.

At this point, there's nothing anyone can tell you. The mama bird doesn't have a flying manual for her babies; she just pushes them out the nest.

 

[Sensiko]

i have no advice, but i just wanted to say that i just really, really like the title of your thread.

 

[SpecialEdition]

You have to own yourself and how you feel and how you don't feel. You are also not obligated to compromise all of the time and you are also not obligated to be "on" all the time. If you are feeling distant, then you are feeling distant. You can communicate that. It shouldn't be a big deal. What is leading to your decision to accommodate all the time???

I think that INFJ's and INFP's are fundamentally incompatible long term unless they are willing to reallllly work at it. I think initially the two types can get along great but when it comes down to it I think the worst parts of the INFJ personality and the worst parts of the INFP personality work against each other. It takes a lot of dedication if you're both not fully conscious of yourselves, your behaviours, your emotions and how you interact with each other.

All I can say is good luck.