Fe vs Fi: Do you consider yourself emotionally open or closed? | INFJ Forum

Fe vs Fi: Do you consider yourself emotionally open or closed?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by HunterO, Feb 12, 2015.

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  1. HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    A) I noticed that INFJs in general, are emotionally open. They say exactly what they are feeling quite freely, as ESTPs, ENFJs, ENTPs and ESFJs.

    Emotionally closed types: INTPs, INFPs, ENTJs, INTJ, ESTJs, ISTPs, ISFPs.

    I am thinking this is due to a Fe vs Fi function. People who possess Fe tend to be more free, more liberal about expressing their feelings, whereas for Fi users, it is more of a personal thing and they do not express what they are feeling to others as openly.

    What are your thoughts on this? And how would you consider yourself? Open or closed?

    B) In addition, do you consider yourself a direct communicator or an indirect communicator?

    For example: "Sweetie, do you mind picking up my dry cleaning on your way home?" (direct) vs. "Darling, I remembered that I have to pick up my dry cleaning for tomorrow. Are you on your way home?" (indirect)
     
  2. I'm emotionally open and consider myself as a direct communicator but for this to exist there's got to be trust and authenticity in my relationships....otherwise the shutters come down.
     
  3. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    I can do both.

    The way I see it is quite different; more like, Fe has more control, Fi is more intense.

    Fi can be indirect to avoid conflict, but once they are in conflict they can be very, very direct.

    Fe tend to be more..controlled. Targeting effectiveness.

    But [MENTION=10171]Isabella[/MENTION] is true in that trust and authenticity is important; otherwise, they will meet the polite me instead of the true me.
     
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  4. Erlian

    Erlian Community Member

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    I don't think emotional openness is directly related to the type.
    E and F types will be more likely to be open, but only slightly.
     
  5. Cornerstone

    Cornerstone Well-known member

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    I use Fe a lot. I even find it difficult to give a short, simple answer without the need to show some kind of friendly intention, especially at work.

    I do have a lot of unresolved feelings on lots of personal things. When I'm feeling on top of them I can be emotionally open because my emotions other than fear and the kind of cosmic-love for my creator are still a bit stunted and superficial. When I've not got my shit together, the anxiety rises up so I kind of close off or slip into the 'ironically' bitter joke-making aspect of my persona. It's exhausting trying to keep up the pleasant persona when I've got things on my mind but when I'm alright, it comes very naturally and I like being genuinely pleasant. I hate being formal/professional and saying 'Good Morning' but when I'm in a good place my persona trumps those pleasantries. It's strange because with the deeper seated issues I have to consciously postpone their examination in order to remain feeling good but equally give them enough attention in the meantime that I'm not repressing them (again). The pleasant persona doesn't form very in-depth relationships. The bitter ironic part does but deep down I know they're not always the best people for me.

    Tricky stuff, but not so bad.
     
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  6. Gaze

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    Not really sure Fe is more open emotionally. It's usually the "what" that's key to understanding the differences. I'm Fi. I can be very open but as an example, my expression of feeling may not be accepted or appreciated or may not be in line with what others think, and so I may restrict who I decide to be open with. I am only going to be open with those who are receptive. Someone may see this as a closed because they feel you're not as open as they want you to be, without realizing it's not about them. Maybe you just don't want to be open with that particular person in that particular situation. I think Fi adjusts openness to the people and situations. It's more about comfort level and acceptance. I will be completely open with those who allow me to be completely open. If people are going to be rude and dismissive when you're open or share something, why would I want to keep repeating that experience? I'm not really going to push openness on someone who is not accepting or respectful about it. Learned and still learning this lesson the hard way. For example, if I want to talk about emotions or feelings and the other person doesn't, I am not going to force it especially if it's someone who rushes to judge those shared thoughts or feelings rather than listen. And some of what you are describing as "openness" could simply be someone being blunt, and saying whatever they feel however they feel regardless of how it comes across or the consequences. On the other hand, Fi especially with Ne is more cautious because it's more focused on the potentially different ways something can be perceived, received, or interpreted. So, it's not that Fis are closed, it's that they are more selective about who they open with and what they are open about.
     
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  7. Artisan

    Artisan Dares, Dreams, Does

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    A)
    I consider myself to be emotionally open compared to other people, but I also feel more emotionally closed as I try not to impose my feelings upon others.
    When people ask I'll give them the truth and tell them how I feel, But I don't offer it up without being asked.
    Whether my feelings are negative or positive, I prefer to confirm I've read other people right by asking them how they're doing, and amplify their positive feelings by letting them know I am happy for them, and supporting them when they have negative feelings.
    I will also adjust my response to the question as to how I am, as such to not negatively influence or outshine another in an attempt to keep their feelings at the best possible state.

    When I am absolutely miserable I also tend to smile for others and focus on the positive things so I do not have a negative influence upon other peoples moods.
    I suffer in silence and I shine out sight ^^" that said, I do shine where I feel it will have a good influence on others. ^^


    B) Direct.
     
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  8. INFJok

    INFJok Community Member

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    Well from my personal experience with family, the Fe users voice their opinion and emotions through words. The Fi users do it through action, passive-aggressive or not, there goes a slammed door, there goes a flying object!
     
  9. La Sagna

    La Sagna Trying to become a butterfly

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    This is exactly how I am also. I don't want to impose my feelings on others, and I try to help amplify their positive feelings.

    My feelings seem to be so tied in to other people's feelings that theirs take precedence over anything I feel.
    That's why I need time alone. I feel a lot less when I'm alone and it gives me a rest. I also get a chance to figure out what my feelings are when I'm alone which is difficult for me to do around other people. In some ways though, if I'm alone too much I feel empty which I think is also related to Fe.

    I have a friend who's an esfp and he has a strong Fi. It seems to me that his feelings are much more intense and difficult for him to speak about. He gets overwhelmed by them and will wallow in them a lot more than I do. I can handle my feelings better than him but I get much more affected by other people's feelings. He can handle other people's feelings better as he doesn't feel them like I do but he has a more difficult time handling his own feelings. I'm also better at reading other people's feelings than he is and I am much more of aware of how I can affect other people's feelings.

    I have to add that I feel responsible for other people's feelings for some reason, even if they have nothing to do with me.
     
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    #9 La Sagna, Feb 12, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2015
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  10. Scientia

    Scientia A true lady

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    This is me.
     
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  11. La Sagna

    La Sagna Trying to become a butterfly

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    #11 La Sagna, Feb 12, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2015
  12. SpecialEdition

    SpecialEdition Well-known member

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    Exceptionally emotionally closed.

    As for your assessment that INFPs are emotionally closed... lol. It's like a massive damn with a ton of cracks in it trying to keep the flood from happening, but it just leaks all over the place anyway.
     
  13. DonTaushMe

    DonTaushMe Well-known member

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    Stop giving all my secrets away!!!
     
  14. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

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    A) ur m0m
    B) INTPs have Fe, not Fi
     
  15. barbad0s

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    *observes the feeble attempts of an entj to understand social interaction*
     
  16. Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. You interpreted accurately what I do when the shutters come down ie polite me v true me. As soon as my antenna picks up any inauthentic vibes, the autopilot guard gets activated. Communication becomes censored and selective = emotionally closed. However, this might sound contradictory but I also allow myself to remain open to the possibility that the dynamics (ie my mindset, behaviour and countless other variables) could potentially change over a period of time.
     
  17. OP
    HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    Well of course. However, most people in the world will not be authentic from the very beginning. Hopefully most people will be polite when interacting and not rude.

    With my experience with other Thinker types, thinkers tend to withhold their authentic personalities until they get to know you closely. I'm always suspicious of ENFJ types though- they seem overly flirty and complimentary so I tend not to trust them at all in the beginning.
     
    #17 HunterO, Feb 15, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2015
  18. OP
    HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    You are right about that! So do ESTJs I think
     
  19. OP
    HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    That's very interesting. I feel the same way- however, to illustrate the Fe vs Fi difference, I remember I was talking to a close friend who is an INTP and when he confided something to me that was very personal, and very tragic, he told me he was surprised by my reaction, because I didn't say anything comforting.
    He had told this to several of his close friends before and they would say things like "I'm sorry that happened, etc" and would hug him etc. However, while I was taking in the information he was telling me, I felt as if I would be intruding on his "feelings" if I said something to that effect, and wanted to give him privacy and certainly I'm not one to go around hugging people to comfort them, so I wonder if that is a distinct Fe vs Fi difference?
     
  20. OP
    HunterO

    HunterO Community Member

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    I'm exactly the same. :)
     
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