As far as the accuracy of the OP list I'm not really concerned if it describes my processes or even most of them because I don't have that expectation. Take what fits and toss the rest.
Anyone is welcome to reply to this thread but I am particularly interested in hearing FJs explain how they experience Fe personally.
I see people usually describing Fe as being at work in group situations but I'm not really in that many group situations. When I'm at work, of course I have to deal with my coworkers but that's a very small group of people, usually about seven others I come into regular contact with. Within my professional life, I have an individual relationship with each person that is the primary basis for interaction, so I don't consider it group but I do recognize it as a particular culture. Any time you get a collection of individuals together, you've got a culture and that's a natural source of interest to me.
This forum is the largest group of people I deal with consistently. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not in enough large group situations to often see my Fe at work in a group setting, or rather the groups shift and change often enough that there's not often one set culture. I'm rarely in a situation where I have to deal with more than 10 people in one setting at once, but I'm often in situations where I have to deal with multiple individuals at once and that always has to be customized and tailored to the particular person.
I see my Fe being manifested in the most stereotypical way here on the forum and I'm going to be honest and say, no I'm not primarily concerned about the "individual." I think "The Forum" as one large unit. I understand that it's made up of individuals, but I really do see it as one whole. What I recognize in myself as a madmin is that I have a very strong, "if you do it for one, do it for all, or do it for none" attitude, I'm really conscious of forum PR, how I've chosen my role of interaction with The Forum, what forum culture is (and what causes shifts in forum culture and how to redirect if necessary), what kind of contribution I can make as part of forum leadership, level and type of discussion, and what is my relationship and alignment with other madmins in the capacity of forum management.
I notice who cliques up with whom on the forum, how people tend to interact with each other. I notice certain people tend to group up in thread together, that certain members have often have life themes they keep mentioning, that certain members tend dominate discussions and how they do it, how out of the scores of regularly posting members we have here how only a handful come to be stand-outs, what brings people here, what keeps them here, what are member stakes in the forum (is it just entertainment to them, do they feel a sense of community, etc.), a bunch of other stuff that comes and goes...this is just some of it.
The other large scale way I see my Fe manifested is through social responsibility. I do feel a very general, but strong sense of social responsibility. I have felt guilty for not volunteering or "giving back" or doing "my part" to fix societal ills. I know this is cliche, but I often think that I'm either part of the problem or part of the solution and being apathetic, (willfully) ignorant, or pushing things to the back of my mind isn't part of the solution.
Now when I zoom into one-on-one dynamics things change quite a bit. This is primarily the realm I see myself operating in. Once again this is where I notice my interest naturally goes and what my inclinations are. These can be in differing levels and depends on how close I feel to the person, how close and intimate we are. This is just a snapshot of things that go through my mind and what I believe my natural sensitivities are, which doesn't mean I'm good at it, just where I naturally go.
I'm sensitive to ramifications, implications, and what is being communicated...what are my actions communicating to another person, what are my words communicating, what are my and the other person's discrepancies and consistencies? What are they saying to me, what do I expect of them, am I being reasonable, what can I realistically expect, what is most likely to happen between me and this other person, what kind of position am I putting them in, and conversely thinking do they realize what position they're putting me in.
I'm sensitive to power balances and tend to see people in relationship to one another and myself to another person. What am I to them?
What is this person typically like? What are their patterns of behavior and thought? What do they want? What are their beliefs and what's important to them? What are their reactions like? How do they typically react to XYZ? What is their baseline? How is this person contextually different?
What kind of tone do I want between me and this person or me and this group of people? How do I approach them?
How is this person or group of people going to fit in my life? How am I going to "zone" them? How much of myself, my energy and my thoughts do I give to them?
What is the context and history between these people, or between myself and this person? What's their background? How do our backgrounds intersect?
How likely is our pattern of interaction with each other to change, is it worth changing, am I invested enough to change myself enough to adapt? Are they invested enough to change?
What's going on in this person's head, why do they think the way they do, how aligned are we, where do we agree/disagree?
I encounter most of my problems with people because I expect this back from them. I wrongly or rightly expect them to go through this when dealing with me and I realize that it doesn't happen most of the time.
The resolution on this can get finer and finer, I can zoom into ONE particular relationship and start dissecting that.
What do things mean between me and this person? What are our personal symbols? What does it mean when we say this or do that? How do I show I care? How do they show me they care? How deeply have they penetrated me and vice versa? How open and free can we be with each other? Do I feel judged? Do they feel judged? Do they feel they can come to me, feel safe with me? Do I feel likewise? How much can be left unsaid between us and how much needs to be explicit? What does it mean when we leave things unsaid...is it trust or something else? How much trust do we have established? Is it OK for me to say that I feel this negative emotion or I need XYZ? Should I expect them to fulfill me this way? Should they expect me to fulfill them in this way, etc. etc.
I have always felt that as a Fe-dom, I'm operating on multiple tracks. Consciously, I tend to operate on these levels, no particular order of importance and I hope that people can see the distinction between these very similar outlooks:
how I see me (looking at myself)
how other people see me (other people looking at me)
how I see other people seeing me (looking at someone looking at me)
how I see myself towards other people (looking at me and another person together as a fly on the wall)
I flicker back and forth between these outlooks and how I act and react depends on which outlook I think is most relevant to that particular situation. As you can see, most of my outlooks tend to be outside of myself because that's the outlook I give the most validity and reliability.
