Ever notice a repetitive pattern in your life?

you're not being insane, it does feel repetitive to me also~ different seasons, same place. something like that.

 

i have felt this way in the past. then i just started refusing to see certain people and interact in certain ways. it was easier to change it once i recognised it as a pattern. before then i was just like "why does this keep happening to me!"

 

yep i did for awhile, the lead singer of my band was my dad, my girlfriends were my dad, hell i saw my dad in some of my students. best line i can think of to describe what it felt like is from that one pod tune "same situations, just different faces."

anyway i'm a big fan of dr. phil and the idea behind his philosophy that we teach others how to treat us. until i realized this i couldn't seem to escape it even when i saw history repeating itself. though as you said when you're in a cycle it feels like these people find you, not like you're out actively searching for more of the same.

 

I can relate only in that I have repeated actions in the past that felt very familiar. I tend to be more comfortable with the short term over the long term. I moved a lot when I was younger and after a couple of years I would get this wanderlust to move, to leave. I left many jobs as a result even though I didn't need to and even though things were okay. I guess the only thing I can say is that the feeling of a pattern is rooted in you rather outside of you.

 

Yep, I recognize patterns too. What Bags said is spot on. I'm in the process of breaking some of my own patterns now. It's the only way, take it upon yourself. Don't blame outside forces. And don't be a procrastinating INFJ boys and girls, do it early when it's easier to do!

 

I am with Wyote on this one.

I can generalize things in my life, but ultimately I find that the more I inspect/measure, the more I find that everything has its own context which really cannot be isolated from its environment. The deeper I dig, the more differences (and beauty) I find.

I do sometimes find myself in a repeating situation, as far as I can tell it is because I am only observing what I have set myself up to see through preconceived expectations.

 

Nope, you're not being insane. I can so relate. I

 

I think, to an extent, what you believe you will see is what you will see. Even if you 'try' to see things differently, ultimately you have not unconsciously changed your underlying perceptions and world view.

When I allow myself to see the world as being bad, everyone against me, and everything as suffering, that is exactly what I see.

When I allow myself to focus on the beauty, the small things, the laughter, that is what fills my heart.

In order to switch between those views I have to change myself, not the world.

 

I've had a couple of patterns over the years.

I jump jobs a lot. I tend to get tired of where I'm working after about two years. The dissatisfaction then builds up until I cannot stand it anymore ... and I start looking around for something new. I invariably find something and then jump and start the process all over again. I tried breaking the pattern by staying at a large bank that had a decent environment and good benefits ... but I totally self destructed and started acting out. Absent a lot, sneaking out to have a few beers, getting drunk at work to break the monotony, etc. It was pretty ugly. I jumped and the problems went away ... until two years passed again. MBTI would indicate that my P likes variety, but enough is really enough. I need to find a way to break this pattern and also be satisfied with the results. I'm almost at the 3 year mark in my present job, and the dissatisfaction level is pretty high. I'm starting to look around.

I tend to choose partners who use me, be it financially, emotionally, or physically. I think I am too nice to people and it seems to motivate them to take advantage of me. It's a tough nut to crack, as it is my nature to be that way. I've had more than one person tell me that I'm too good to my partners. Maybe I want to be needed and this is a side effect. Its still something I'm scrutinizing in myself ... hoping to find some solutions. I definitely don't want to keep travelling down that road. I've found somebody who does not fit this mold, and she is a breath of fresh air. Sometimes I don't know how to act, but I'm glad that I found her. It gives me hope.

 

Slightly similar. I allow myself to be used by people pretty easily because i go along with things sometimes because i don't want to rock the boat, and people see that and respond by being overly nice or demanding, pressing until they get their way. And since i'm not in the frame of mind to fight or resist them, i usually give in. I find it hard to stand my ground.

 

Good luck with your new match NightHawk.

I hope you can find a job with enough diversity and variation to keep you there.

 

Can I borrow $5?

 

Thank you ... she's a rare jewel. She calls me on my crap and makes me introspect a lot. I've grown a lot as a person through her. She's a great mindmate for an NT ... always something deep, new, and interesting. I get the feeling that she is with me because she wants to be, rather than needs to be ... which is a refreshing change. I see hope for the future with her.

Thank you again That's the real rub. The stuff I want to learn and do is not available at my present employer. I'd go solo, but I suck at selling and would need to establish a client base. Haven't found anybody with those skills who I can trust yet to partner with. In the IT world, you have to grow or stagnate and I feel like I'm stagnating where I presently am.

 

....yeah; have similar pattern too. Still having a long-term analysis to check whether it's per one year or two. (More bets for two);
It's due to the terms of...events happening. People met were mostly the same, but...events happening, and how it related to my emotional situation. Then my emotional mood itself. I even have a theory it's also related to my cognitive functions. It's like a cycle. :|

 

Yeah I get the repetition with people I meet quite alot, jobs and also situations generally. For example, I'll be swept up in the moment by an idea, someone will say something bad about it, I'll lose interest in the idea and then never accomplish it.

 

I have a pattern.
I stop spending time with friends as much because either I get wrapped up in myself/my problems or I get wrapped up in a relationships. Then I become depressed because I realize I no longer I have a social life, so I start hanging out with friends alot again. Then I get depressed because I have lost all sense of self. Bleh.

Somewhere in between that I find a good balance, and I'm happy. I'm just not good at keeping that balance.