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[INFJ] ESFP

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jonjairo

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Jul 29, 2019
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I expected to see a lot less filth on this forum from INFJ but apparently i was wrong in that. Not sure if its the other types on here or if even INFJs are like that too.

Im married to an ESFP and i hate how i always feel like she cant understand or appreciate my feelings and what not, not sure how to explain it. Like im too sentimental and im wasting it all with someone who doesnt even care, i expect that from everyone else but was hoping she would be different

my question is, are other INFJs any different or are all human beings selfish and unable to appreciate this
 
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jonjairo said:
I expected to see a lot less filth on this forum from INFJ but apparently i was wrong in that. Not sure if its the other types on here or if even INFJs are like that too.

Im married to an ESFP and i hate how i always feel like she cant understand or appreciate my feelings and what not, not sure how to explain it. Like im too sentimental and im wasting it all with someone who doesnt even care, i expect that from everyone else but was hoping she would be different

my question is, are other INFJs any different or are all human beings selfish and unable to appreciate this
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I was there jonjairo. For fifteen years .. not married but de facto.

I used to try and explain how I felt and she would be looking at me as though expressing feelings was a new concept. I thought at the beginning that she and I had this connection and I fell hard for her, but as the months rolled by I realised that there was something missing. A connection of like minds, of thoughts of feelings. The love was always there but the connection wasn't.

That was it .. only months before I realised, and it went for fifteen years, but l kept believing that if we could deepen that connection she would come over to the "other side", and the circle would be complete.

Phil :)
 
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All human beings are selfish and incapable of appreciating your beautiful feelings. Instead, the entire species prefers to delight in the filthier things that life has to offer. Maybe you should read your post a few more times and think about your attitude especially when asking for advice.
 
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What do you hope to achieve in said marriage?
Do you have a game plan for how you want your marriage to be?
Have you expressed this plan to your spouse?
What are your spouses expectations of your marriage?
Was this clearly stated before you got married?

It's not that hard.
 
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Im aware of my attitude thank you, maybe you're referring to my selfish desire to have a happy marriage? Sure its selfish, but its also altruistic so she can have a better relationship with me and she can be more happy.

If you're primitive than yes you would delight it filth

I want to have an understanding and happy marriage of course, yes we've talked about it and cannot see eye to eye
actually it is that hard, thanks for that though
 
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jonjairo said:
Im aware of my attitude thank you, maybe you're referring to my selfish desire to have a happy marriage? Sure its selfish, but its also altruistic so she can have a better relationship with me and she can be more happy.

If you're primitive than yes you would delight it filth

I want to have an understanding and happy marriage of course, yes we've talked about it and cannot see eye to eye
actually it is that hard, thanks for that though
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It being hard, and one making it hard are two different things. If you don't speak your views to your wife, (don't be afraid that it may lead to a verbal pissing match, all marriages go through them), then you will never get to the bottom of it. Speak it, shout it, scream it if you have to. I did. Slept a few nights out of the house also. We are still married and we are better off than we were before.

If it doesn't work out. then learn from it on the next marriage. That's all I got. Godspeed.

I don't want to hear your opinion outside of what I just said. I didn't say it because it's just what I think, but it's what I know.
 
jonjairo said:
Im aware of my attitude thank you, maybe you're referring to my selfish desire to have a happy marriage? Sure its selfish, but its also altruistic so she can have a better relationship with me and she can be more happy.

If you're primitive than yes you would delight it filth

I want to have an understanding and happy marriage of course, yes we've talked about it and cannot see eye to eye
actually it is that hard, thanks for that though
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You insult people here then ask for advice. And the nice folks here actually share their wisdom despite it. Based on your OP your view seems kind of skewed. Your expectations maybe extreme.
or are all human beings selfish and unable to appreciate this
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You feel misunderstood and unappreciated so everyone must be selfish.

It reads like you expect your wife to connect with you in your way; appreciate your feelings... but are you trying to do the same with her? Do you understand and appreciate her feelings? If you can't understand and appreciate each other then maybe you're just not compatible.
 
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If you don't want to hear then go

Your own conscience is insulting you not me, i didn't say anything about any of you,

literally don't comment here then if you're somehow offended by my problem? Im looking for help
 
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jonjairo said:
If you don't want to hear then go

Your own conscience is insulting you not me, i didn't say anything about any of you,

literally don't comment here then if you're somehow offended by my problem? Im looking for help
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Are you willing to fight for the most important thing in your life? Yes, or No?
 
jonjairo said:
yes absolutely, not interested in divorce
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Then your work is cut out for you. There really isn't anything that anybody can help you with, because we do not have vesting in you marriage. The only thing left is to make sure that you are communicating yourself. I'm feel for anyone going through this. I've been there. It's not easy, and the only one who can solve it is you.
 
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