[INFJ] - ESFP | INFJ Forum

Featured [INFJ] ESFP

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by jonjairo, Jul 29, 2019.

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  1. jonjairo

    jonjairo Newbie

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    I expected to see a lot less filth on this forum from INFJ but apparently i was wrong in that. Not sure if its the other types on here or if even INFJs are like that too.

    Im married to an ESFP and i hate how i always feel like she cant understand or appreciate my feelings and what not, not sure how to explain it. Like im too sentimental and im wasting it all with someone who doesnt even care, i expect that from everyone else but was hoping she would be different

    my question is, are other INFJs any different or are all human beings selfish and unable to appreciate this
     
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  2. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I think that INFJs have to start saying "Yes" to life more, like Dionysus.
     
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  3. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    Depends on how long you've been married. @Pin usually is the expert here on these types of things.
     
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  4. ruji

    ruji Well-known weirdo

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    Why is this important to you? Why do you want your wife to care about this? What's in it for her? What's in it for you?
     
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  5. JustPhil

    JustPhil Newbie

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    I was there jonjairo. For fifteen years .. not married but de facto.

    I used to try and explain how I felt and she would be looking at me as though expressing feelings was a new concept. I thought at the beginning that she and I had this connection and I fell hard for her, but as the months rolled by I realised that there was something missing. A connection of like minds, of thoughts of feelings. The love was always there but the connection wasn't.

    That was it .. only months before I realised, and it went for fifteen years, but l kept believing that if we could deepen that connection she would come over to the "other side", and the circle would be complete.

    Phil :)
     
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  6. OP
    jonjairo

    jonjairo Newbie

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    well obviously its a problem for us thats why,
    phil so you never could resolve it?
     
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    All human beings are selfish and incapable of appreciating your beautiful feelings. Instead, the entire species prefers to delight in the filthier things that life has to offer. Maybe you should read your post a few more times and think about your attitude especially when asking for advice.
     
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    #7 acd, Jul 29, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2019
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  8. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    What do you hope to achieve in said marriage?
    Do you have a game plan for how you want your marriage to be?
    Have you expressed this plan to your spouse?
    What are your spouses expectations of your marriage?
    Was this clearly stated before you got married?

    It's not that hard.
     
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  9. OP
    jonjairo

    jonjairo Newbie

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    Im aware of my attitude thank you, maybe you're referring to my selfish desire to have a happy marriage? Sure its selfish, but its also altruistic so she can have a better relationship with me and she can be more happy.

    If you're primitive than yes you would delight it filth

    I want to have an understanding and happy marriage of course, yes we've talked about it and cannot see eye to eye
    actually it is that hard, thanks for that though
     
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  10. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    It being hard, and one making it hard are two different things. If you don't speak your views to your wife, (don't be afraid that it may lead to a verbal pissing match, all marriages go through them), then you will never get to the bottom of it. Speak it, shout it, scream it if you have to. I did. Slept a few nights out of the house also. We are still married and we are better off than we were before.

    If it doesn't work out. then learn from it on the next marriage. That's all I got. Godspeed.

    I don't want to hear your opinion outside of what I just said. I didn't say it because it's just what I think, but it's what I know.
     
  11. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You insult people here then ask for advice. And the nice folks here actually share their wisdom despite it. Based on your OP your view seems kind of skewed. Your expectations maybe extreme.
    You feel misunderstood and unappreciated so everyone must be selfish.

    It reads like you expect your wife to connect with you in your way; appreciate your feelings... but are you trying to do the same with her? Do you understand and appreciate her feelings? If you can't understand and appreciate each other then maybe you're just not compatible.
     
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  12. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    Sounds like @Pin
     
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  13. OP
    jonjairo

    jonjairo Newbie

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    If you don't want to hear then go

    Your own conscience is insulting you not me, i didn't say anything about any of you,

    literally don't comment here then if you're somehow offended by my problem? Im looking for help
     
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  14. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    Are you willing to fight for the most important thing in your life? Yes, or No?
     
  15. OP
    jonjairo

    jonjairo Newbie

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    yes absolutely, not interested in divorce
     
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  16. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    Then your work is cut out for you. There really isn't anything that anybody can help you with, because we do not have vesting in you marriage. The only thing left is to make sure that you are communicating yourself. I'm feel for anyone going through this. I've been there. It's not easy, and the only one who can solve it is you.
     
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  17. ruji

    ruji Well-known weirdo

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    Are you calling us filth?
     
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  18. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I do what I want! :tonguewink:
     
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  19. Stu

    Stu Pre-Pottery B Neolithocrat
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    I could be wrong but it seems like you better start getting used to the idea.
     
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  20. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    Filthy is what the F in INFJ stands for. They’re all just a bunch of dirty, dirty birds.
     
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