I haven't written an essay for 3-4 years, so I was wondering if you could give me some feedback on my first draft? Please be blunt and honest!
The topic is "Choosing a course of study and a career". It is supposed to be a general assessment, and not from a subjective first-person perspective. Here it is:
"Choosing a course of study and a career"
Choosing an education is a vital step towards a career. During the 21st century, the western world has become more specialized and competitive. Therefore the pressure of taking an education has increased immensely. That brings up the question: is everyone equally capable of achieving a higher education?
It could be argued that choosing a study and career path is not a matter of free will, but largely a result of social inheritance. According to the book 'Maintaining Momentum' by Stephen Aldridge, upward mobility favors the middle class and those of substantial means (2004, MM p. 15-16). This theory has also been explored by Professor Gosta Esping-Andersen of the University of Pompeu Fabra. In his scientific article ‘Unequal Opportunities and Social Inheritance’, he concludes that social inheritance, or ‘cultural capital’ as he calls it, is the key factor to upward mobility. He suggests that further research on successful upward mobility should shift from the funding of universities to the income of families.
Sociological research has shown that cultural capital is not the sole reason for education and career paths. Research done by Corak (2004, MM p. 16) and Jorgensen (2001, MM p. 16) has shown that some countries have been more successful at motivating lower-income classes to take an education. For example, Nordic countries and Germany have show greater results in motivating people to take a higher education than the US, UK and Italy. The readily available access to higher education in Northern European countries is likely a contribution factor to higher upward mobility. Aldridge also points to a Danish study that shows little correlation between the income of parents and the education of their children (MM p. 16) and concludes that the strong middle class in Denmark contributes to this.
To support his claims, Aldridge compares the Gini coefficient of different countries to the upward mobility of the population (MM p. 23). The statistics show that economically equal countries have better success at upward mobility. For example, Denmark has a Gini coefficient of .22 (highly equal) and a high mobility score of 0.81. Comparatively, the US has a Gini coefficient score of .34 and a mobility score of 0.71. He concludes that the research proves that the theory of inequality stimulating the students incentives for upward mobility to be largely false.
In conclusion, we find that by combining the findings of Aldridge, Corak and Jorgensen. that a persons’ background, combined with the overall equality of the persons' birth-country, are some of the determining factors for a students chance of upward mobility. It cannot be concluded whether or not free will is a determining factor in a persons’ chance of achieving a higher education. However, it can be concluded that some countries have better results with upward mobility. Along with a persons’ cultural capital, it most likely determines whether or not a person is capable of achieving a higher education.
Bibliography:
Stephen Aldridge: ‘Maintaining Momentum’ (p. 15-16, p. 23) http://www.ippr.org/files/images/media/files/publication/2011/05/maintaining_momentum_full_1332.pdf?noredirect=1#page=20
Gosta Esping-Andersen: ‘Unequal Opportunities and Social Inheritance ‘ (p. 1) http://www.troll.pp.se/Unequal%20Opportunities%20and%20Social%20Inheritance.pdf
[end of essay]
Thanks in advance!
The topic is "Choosing a course of study and a career". It is supposed to be a general assessment, and not from a subjective first-person perspective. Here it is:
"Choosing a course of study and a career"
Choosing an education is a vital step towards a career. During the 21st century, the western world has become more specialized and competitive. Therefore the pressure of taking an education has increased immensely. That brings up the question: is everyone equally capable of achieving a higher education?
It could be argued that choosing a study and career path is not a matter of free will, but largely a result of social inheritance. According to the book 'Maintaining Momentum' by Stephen Aldridge, upward mobility favors the middle class and those of substantial means (2004, MM p. 15-16). This theory has also been explored by Professor Gosta Esping-Andersen of the University of Pompeu Fabra. In his scientific article ‘Unequal Opportunities and Social Inheritance’, he concludes that social inheritance, or ‘cultural capital’ as he calls it, is the key factor to upward mobility. He suggests that further research on successful upward mobility should shift from the funding of universities to the income of families.
Sociological research has shown that cultural capital is not the sole reason for education and career paths. Research done by Corak (2004, MM p. 16) and Jorgensen (2001, MM p. 16) has shown that some countries have been more successful at motivating lower-income classes to take an education. For example, Nordic countries and Germany have show greater results in motivating people to take a higher education than the US, UK and Italy. The readily available access to higher education in Northern European countries is likely a contribution factor to higher upward mobility. Aldridge also points to a Danish study that shows little correlation between the income of parents and the education of their children (MM p. 16) and concludes that the strong middle class in Denmark contributes to this.
To support his claims, Aldridge compares the Gini coefficient of different countries to the upward mobility of the population (MM p. 23). The statistics show that economically equal countries have better success at upward mobility. For example, Denmark has a Gini coefficient of .22 (highly equal) and a high mobility score of 0.81. Comparatively, the US has a Gini coefficient score of .34 and a mobility score of 0.71. He concludes that the research proves that the theory of inequality stimulating the students incentives for upward mobility to be largely false.
In conclusion, we find that by combining the findings of Aldridge, Corak and Jorgensen. that a persons’ background, combined with the overall equality of the persons' birth-country, are some of the determining factors for a students chance of upward mobility. It cannot be concluded whether or not free will is a determining factor in a persons’ chance of achieving a higher education. However, it can be concluded that some countries have better results with upward mobility. Along with a persons’ cultural capital, it most likely determines whether or not a person is capable of achieving a higher education.
Bibliography:
Stephen Aldridge: ‘Maintaining Momentum’ (p. 15-16, p. 23) http://www.ippr.org/files/images/media/files/publication/2011/05/maintaining_momentum_full_1332.pdf?noredirect=1#page=20
Gosta Esping-Andersen: ‘Unequal Opportunities and Social Inheritance ‘ (p. 1) http://www.troll.pp.se/Unequal%20Opportunities%20and%20Social%20Inheritance.pdf
[end of essay]
Thanks in advance!
