ENFPs - thoughts? | INFJ Forum

ENFPs - thoughts?

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weirdo

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Jul 5, 2013
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I was intending to write a really long post, but I changed my mind after writing ~35% of it. People hate long posts, especially when they're few thousand words long. So instead I'm going to ask a question: what is your opinion and experience with ENFPs? Healthy ENFPs. My experience is that it's really easy to talk to them, they are fun to be with, they always have something to talk about, they're engaged in what you're talking about, enthusiastic, optimistic though don't mind realistic facts, don't have as strong/defensive value system as INFPs, can talk about virtually anything (even really dark and twisted stuff), they're caring if you're important to them, they don't mind no sensor-stimulation (for example an ENFP I got to know recently is perfectly OK with taking long walks and talking, no need for a bar or bowling, etc.). He's a man and he's not homosexual, nor am I by the way. In case it's a woman, though, the downside is that they're really nice with everyone naturally and so people often misinterpret them as flirting, they expect something, some, especially a bit drunk people, even try to kiss them, which nor me nor (hopefully) the woman would want. Not to mention some people can get the wrong idea about my girlfriend/wife and some therefore wouldn't respect me either, or would try to give me unsolicited advice that she's flirting with everybody. Likely I'd also get jealous sometimes if she was really into some guy, which would be just talking in her mind, but from the side it looks like they're best friends for 30 years who haven'tr seen each other for another 10. Another downside with ENFPs is that they are always doing something and it's really hard to meet them (the dude I mentioned earlier, he barely has time to meet up, even though he isn't doing anything serious, same was with every other ENFP I knew, and they're horrible for online chats too - they leave after a few minutes). And speaking of a mate, independent if it's a woman or a man for you, I think the fact that they always want to get to know new people would be really annoying too, as as I imagine the ENFP wouldn't want to spend much time together.

So that's what I think of when I think ENFP + experience. What are your thoughts, observations, experience, maybe even corrections or comments on what I wrote?
 
What a good question, I was just thinking about this recently.

I have 2 ENFP's in my life, one is my aunt and the other is a friend from college. My experience with them is much the same as what you were mentioning at the beginning of your post - they are incredibly enthusiastic, VERY fun to talk to, VERY interesting to be around, and I find I can open up to them in ways I can't open up to anybody else. It's such a relief to be around someone who is MORE enthusiastic than me, instead of the other way around. They're always going on about something crazy, and not only is it incredibly interesting, it's also incredibly liberating. I feel like they're so tolerant and open and never judge me. Also, they're not extremely self-conscious the way I am -- they're transparent and really let me in and let me see who they are.

Those are the positive things. The negative things are, I think, where the "P" part comes in.
They are both amazing people to be around in small doses. When I'm around them too much, I start to feel like I'm losing my mind. Being around them can start to be stressful and exhausting. Sometimes they give me way too much attention and I just need them to back off. Also they seem to be always be in crisis mode. Sometimes I feel like a fire fighter around them, always trying to help them deal with a problem. They can never seem to get anywhere on time. My aunt is the scariest driver because she talks constantly while she's doing it and doesn't pay attention. They can't ever reign in their emotions.

So yeah, in conclusion -- they are AMAZING people to be around, but if I'm around them too much (such as when I stayed with my aunt for 2 weeks), I definitely need a break from them. I ended up breaking off the friendship with the one ENFP girl -- basically because she wanted us to be BEST friends and overall the relationship was just way too intense. Sometimes I regret not being friends with her anyone, because she was such a good person to talk to, but.... I know in the end, I would end up irritated and exhausted. As for my aunt, I only see her about once a year, and I always look forward to seeing her so much, but I would never want to live with her.

My stepmom (ISFJ) CANNOT deal with my aunt. She gets so annoyed. A lot of people find her annoying I think. My dad (INTJ) has a problem with her too. But a lot of people (usually other NF's but not always) also find her fascinating.
 
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