ENFP female, INFJ male similarities and complementarity | INFJ Forum

ENFP female, INFJ male similarities and complementarity

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by sheisredeemed, Oct 28, 2011.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by sheisredeemed
  1. sheisredeemed

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    7
    Hello INFJs! I joined this forum after become acquainted with an INFJ male and experiencing a connection with him. Trying to get to know more about INFJs since is still such a mystery to me, so my Ne in curious explorer mode... :)

    Basically we're both in the same academic grad program, and have become friends through interaction in class. The similarities between us are that we both have a sarcastic/judgmental edge to our sweetness, we enjoy the theoretical facets of our frield of study, we tend to gaze intensely at each other without needing to acknowledge it verbally, we comment on people around us (rather than sensory details and scenery), we're perfectionists, we're a little clumsy, and we both cherish having lots of time to ourselves to think and work alone. He's helpful and accommodating--people-pleasing--like myself. He seems sensitive and in tune with emotions like me, which is refreshing to find in a guy. It's quite comfortable. I'm not nervous around him despite being attracted to him. He seems accepting like I am, which frees me to be myself and not question what "face" to show him. Us ENFPs tend to do that social chameleon thing a lot, so it feels good to be around him. We finish each other's sentences sometimes, too.

    The differences between the two of us seem to be complementary is some ways. He's very meticulous and thinks more linearly... by the book so to speak. I think of innovative ways of solving problems better whilst overlooking sometimes crucial minor details. He reminds me of how important memorization and sustained effort is, and I'll show him connections between concepts, or random bits of information, that help him to solve problems we haven't seen before. We'll figure out the homework problems that the other person doesn't get. He doesn't seem to be nearly as vocal about his ideas and his feelings which leads me to believe he is just very private and or/thinks a lot more before he speaks than I do. The biggest difference lies in how reserved he is compared to my outspokenness in class and in a social setting. I can be chatty and expressive with strangers and friends alike, but he comes alive only around people he knows, becoming smiley and making jokes in contrast to his quiet, observant demeanor. He seems better at responding to other people's feelings and being comforting, whereas that can feel very unnatural for me. I think he can read my emotions better than I can read his.

    He is less tolerant and little more uptight than I am, despite being so accepting much of the time. I don't care if other people are late to class or ask questions indicating they haven't read the material, but that seems bother him a little. He doesn't smile when he stares at me sometimes, whereas I'm always inclined to smile when making eye contact with someone I like. Finally, he seems more ethical than I am in regards to playing by the rules and not cutting corners, but we both seem to have strong values when it comes to interpersonal relationships and serving humanity with our careers someday.
    ------------
    Anyways, have any of your INFJ males experienced a connection with ENFP females? Did you find that you had a lot of similarities, or were they mostly superficial?
     
    #1 sheisredeemed, Oct 28, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2011
  2. Norton

    Norton XXXX

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    1,527
    Likes Received:
    524
    Trophy Points:
    667
    MBTI:
    XXXX
    Enneagram:
    XXXX
    Both of you seem true to type. Your friend, as you describe him, seems a classic INFJ. That he doesn't always smile on eye contact may just be a male thing.
     
  3. Sriracha

    Sriracha Not here.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2011
    Threads:
    98
    Messages:
    3,458
    Likes Received:
    1,911
    Trophy Points:
    375
    MBTI:
    ISFJ
    I am in total belief (and no one can change my mind), that an INFJ needs to be in a relationship with another NF in order to be satisfied.
     
    Blind Bandit likes this.
  4. Aneirin

    Aneirin AKA, David
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 29, 2011
    Threads:
    16
    Messages:
    5,015
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    19,927
    Trophy Points:
    1,481
    Location:
    home
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    type 4w5
    being one myself. . .I completely agree. .
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. Norton

    Norton XXXX

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    1,527
    Likes Received:
    524
    Trophy Points:
    667
    MBTI:
    XXXX
    Enneagram:
    XXXX
    I've been satisfying my INFJ for 36 years.
     
  6. this is only temporary

    this is only temporary Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2011
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1
    ^ haha! Where's the "like" button?

    I'm an NF who -- erm, well let's just say I can state from personal experience there is nothing unsatisfying about an really good, compatible NF/NT pairing!
     
  7. OP
    sheisredeemed

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    7
    Glad that the not smiling thing might just be a guy thing. I've never had it happen! I don't generally try to steal glances at guys, though.

    It's good to know there's an NF-NF connection. He does have a girlfriend though, so he and I are just friends.

    Our relationship is definitely just friendly. He appears to be a gentleman with healthy boundaries and seemingly good morals, and I respect that. I don't connect with men well on a friendship level, so it's refreshing to have a male friend.
     
    #7 sheisredeemed, Oct 28, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2011
  8. firefighter-frankie

    firefighter-frankie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2011
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1
    im new to being a infj but i want to understand enfp even more now
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  9. GracieRuth

    GracieRuth Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Threads:
    133
    Messages:
    975
    Likes Received:
    224
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    7
    There have been only four men in my life that I have considered marrying, and the most Romantic was an ENFP. I loved how he would fly all over the world to deliver aid to areas in crisis. His trade was gardening, and I adored all his rosebushes. He listened to me carefully more than any other human being I've ever met -- I mentioned ONCE that Irises were my favorite flower, and the next time I came over for dinner he had irises on the table. In the end, we decided not to marry because of religious differences, but boy the woman who finally did get him was sure lucky.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. LeoKG

    LeoKG One

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Threads:
    0
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Don't know
    Hi Sheisredeemed,
    I was just browsing this site and saw your post. Since I’m a male INFJ (well that’s the latest guess!), and the two most intensely exciting personal connections I’ve experienced have been with ladies I have thought to be ENFPs, I’ve joined up so I can post a reply!
    I was in a relationship for 9 months with one. The other (who is married with a baby) I am good friends with.
    Both of these people shared common interests with me including: interest in people, looking for the best in people and helping them, looking for deeper meaning in life, Psychology.
    I would say I am quite choosy with deciding who I want to invest a lot of time in, yet both of these ladies did score some intense motivation from me to spend time with them. I guess I always found their company to be particularly inspiring. Looking for meaningful inspiration in my contact with others is always high on the agenda, and to be honest is pretty rare, so when I really find it in someone, I can be happy to make big effort for more of their company and become quite involved.
    This post is really making me think about exactly what it was about them that caused the connection. I guess it is the openness of communication of ideas (that you seem to have when talking to your friend about work and finding connections between concepts) that I have found captivating.
    As an introvert, I often do most of my thinking ahead of time before speaking/doing. I can be sociable, but the energy that I engage with varies a lot depending on the subject and who I am talking too. It depends on how closely the subject chimes with my interests and how interested I think the person I’m talking to is. There seem to be similarities there between your friend and myself.
    Ok I’ll try to summarise my thoughts. A lot of the energy in my life is around developing ideas that have meaning for me. The 2 ENFP females have given me an unusual level of inspiration towards this path in their interactions with me.
    I hope that provides some interesting finds for your Ne explorer!
    What types have you connected with in relationships before?
     
  11. barbad0s

    Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2011
    Threads:
    178
    Messages:
    8,255
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3,750
    Trophy Points:
    889
    MBTI:
    POOP
    @sheisredeemed Welcome! The way you describe how you two interact, really matches the way I interact with some of my male INFJ friends, word for word. :D I collect them like pokemon.
     
  12. LucyJr

    LucyJr Well-known member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2013
    Threads:
    52
    Messages:
    2,412
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    202
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    ENFPs are awesome. Really awesome.
    What I especially like about them is their cherful and happy heart. You can be in the most deep depression, they'll just come at you with a big smile and you'll be back in seconds, laughing at their ridiculous jokes.
    Other than that, they can be extremely intelligent, annoyingly smart. Einstein was a ENFP.
    No weird person for them. They have a talent for approaching the unusual persons, the downcasts of society.

    ENFPs girls are very attractive. Flirty, seductive, cherful and optimistic, and very romantic, vey pleasant personality. You just want to be around them, they'll make you feel good.

    I think the INFJ male - ENFP female relation works.
    Similarities and complementarity: I don't know what is, but it usually works. I know two INFJs guys in real life personaly, and both are coupled with ENFP girls. I think ENFP girls are attracted by the supposed deep persona and mistery of INFJs, their reflective and philosophical outlook at life. INFJ males, I think, like ENFP females because they make 'em feel more grounded. Althought ENFPs are dreamers also, they are far more grounded and practical than INFJs.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. LucyJr

    LucyJr Well-known member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2013
    Threads:
    52
    Messages:
    2,412
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    202
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Yes, I had a short relationship with a girl a year behind.
    She was totaly amazing. I was lacking in social skills, few friends. She had like dozens of friends.
    Yes, we had many similarities. We could just look into each others eyes whithout saying anything, just holding hands and smiling.
    I didn't stayed with her because I felt I was not prepared for that, and not deserve her. The truth is, she was very attractive, getting all times attention from guys, and I was insecure and immature. Stupy me :(
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page