Emotions and kinds of relationships | INFJ Forum

Emotions and kinds of relationships

Jana

Jana

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Apr 18, 2009
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Maybe it is old topic or question, but it is always interesting.

Is it possible that some kinds of feeler (those with Fe) are more likely to have need that their emotional and sexual attractions should be in some sort of reciprocity? Speaking for myself I can tell that this is true. I never experiensed that someone was atractive to me without having some deeper feelings.
Ok, you can be beautiful, but only as aesthetic fact.
If you don't have my emotions, you have nothing from me. I am not intersted.
It is usually said that this kind of thinking is more often with women, but I don't think it is completely truth?

Your thoughts...
It would be good to have some Thinkers here...And IndigoSensor with his function analyses would be useful:)
 
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I have experienced that, being with women and being a woman myself that this enhances the emotional experiences especially if it becomes sexual and in turn enhances the sexual experiences though more with some than others so then I wonder if me being a feeler and them being one as well enhances this even more.
 
I guess that feeler coud have better inside look at need for that kind connection. Any difference between Fi and Fe, what dou you think? I don't mean of showing emotions ( I don't feel comfprtable with thisin public), but of understanding them in other person.
 
Jana said:
I guess that feeler coud have better inside look at need for that kind connection. Any difference between Fi and Fe, what dou you think? I don't mean of showing emotions ( I don't feel comfprtable with thisin public), but of understanding them in other person.
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Unfortunately my knowledge on MBTI is basically non-existant...calling for help here please...VH...Indy...QP...
 
:)
As I understand, and I am not guru:), Fi is more oriented at feelings of person who experience it, while Fe on other's feeling. Something like that.
My logic is that people with Fe would much more depend on how other's people emotions influence them.
:m142:

I got lost in this one:)))
 
Too many smileies, I even put the monkey and I am not monkey kind of person...
 
I think it has more to do with your full type than just particular functions. I really need a deep emotional connection but this is apprently a very ISFP thing. The rest of the SP group are notorious for adopting a "fuck it and chuck it" attitude.

Judging by the SP group I think it's to do with feeling and intuition. ISFP has Ni as it's third function as does ISTP, but because of an ISFP's Fi dominance it makes them the most intuitive of S types.

I'm generalising though.
 
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I have noticed among my friends that it is easier for thinkers to disconnect sex and emotion. They simply view them as two separate things that may or may not come together. I usually crave one or the other. Though on very rare occasion I desire them both at the same time. My feeler friends are less likely to see if from this point of view as they tend to be far more in touch with their emotions, sometimes even ruled by them.

Also, I think we may be ending up in the nature vs. nurture argument again. You learn how to "love" based on examples around you, correct? Feelers may be predisposed to desire an emotional connection, but if they see and experience nothing but heartbreak could end up separating the two? Just a thought.
 
DevilDoll said:
Feelers may be predisposed to desire an emotional connection, but if they see and experience nothing but heartbreak could end up separating the two? Just a thought.
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Agree. As a feeler, if i find that my emotions are being ignored and that i'm not receiving the emotional fulfillment from the relationship, I will usually go rational to protect myself. In that mode, my head takes over, and I see people very differently. Don't expect me to be very sympathetic or understanding when i'm in that mode. I will usually be especially guarded, critical, and not in the mood for nonsense. So, it's not fun, but I will do this if i need to, so that i won't continue to be hurt by anyone else who would devalue the feelings I have or the emotions I'm feeling.

I didn't realize until recently that i had the ability to separate my head from my heart in how I think about feelings or emotions.

In other words, I am a feeler, but my thinking function is also on standby.
 
I can't speak for all Thinkers but I tend to crave an emotional connection if I want the relationship to be long term. That being said, I will crave it but take very tiny little baby steps to reach that point. I don't disconnect the emotional aspect but I tear it apart, piece by piece and analyze it until I am sure of it's meaning to me before proceeding along the attachment road. I am quite comfortable getting half-way and making the determination that "things won't work out" and ending things. However, if I do reach the end of the road, I am generally intent upon making things work out until it becomes apparent that things are not meant to be. I would guess that it is a bit of emotional detachment to a Feeler but I consider it somewhat of an analysis stage more than anything. Emotions are there, I just haven't determined if I will act on them, if they are appropriate, if I understand them--whatever the analysis entails.
 
DevilDoll said:
Also, I think we may be ending up in the nature vs. nurture argument again. You learn how to "love" based on examples around you, correct? Feelers may be predisposed to desire an emotional connection, but if they see and experience nothing but heartbreak could end up separating the two? Just a thought.
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I see as a way of selfdefence.
But, my questions is. Could person who use that kind selfdefence be happy with that state as person who take such stat as normal?
Maybe it is about being in tune with "unhurt" mode?
 
Sonyab said:
Emotions are there, I just haven't determined if I will act on them, if they are appropriate, if I understand them--whatever the analysis entails.
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It would be intersting to see the way in which emotions from these two kinds of person are differente?
Quantity, quality?

If emotions were colours, would Thinker and Feeler see same colour or not?
 
Hum, I would probably say that my thoughts have deeper color than my emotions.
 
Yes.

I can't tell you about sexual attraction since I've never had one, but my closest friends have this special thing about them which appeals to me, very emotionally. And I can't imagine I could be in a proper relationship with anyone who isn't the most amazing, lovely person I've met, ever.

A friend made this observation once which I thoroughly agree with - "As I begin to know someone better, they begin to look prettier to me." I guess, as the emotional aspect of a relationship deepens with mutual understanding of each other, people begin to look more aesthetically appealing to me as well :)
 
Sonyab said:
Hum, I would probably say that my thoughts have deeper color than my emotions.
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I would say that my thoughts and emotions are deep, but in different color.
if I interprete MBTI theroy right, Feelers and Thinkers have emotions, but difference is whether they use them to make decision or not.
How this affect the way they act in relationship?
 
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