Emotional intimacy | INFJ Forum

Emotional intimacy

Gaze

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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What is emotional intimacy? Many here, especially INFJs long for it, seek it, but yet so difficult to find.

What is true emotional intimacy? How do you recognize it and develop it?

How do we avoid confusing true and healthy emotional intimacy for something else which seems close or similar?
 
I know only this about emotional intimacy:

Emotional intimacy is definitely a sign of being emotionally available. Love, however requires openness, honesty and trust.
 
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Good question.

I would say that emotionally intimacy is communication. If there are feelings, good or bad, these are communicated frequently but not 'forced'. It's a sensation that the emotions you feel which are normally not appropriate to be broadcast to the world are entirely O.K. and safe to announce. You also wouldn't be pressured to say things in order to obtain emotional intimacy- whatever you want to share is accepted and there aren't any expectations on how much you share and how often it occurs. I would also think it tends to grow with experiences together that can be challenging to a person, and another person comforting their emotional side of being.
 
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emotional intimacy...

I know what it is yes, and am still waiting for someone to share it with...


hurts
 
Well, when I think of intimacy, I think of closeness. Just...closeness. Physical intimacy to me, can mean love-making or embracing the one you love so tight, wrapping each others arms around the other and promising to never let go...

So if you translate that into emotional intimacy, to me it's developing such a powerful bond that transcends words. To be able to trust in someone, completely. To trust that if you were to fall, the one you love will be right there to catch you. Being able to tell that person what is on your mind/heart and knowing that you won't be condemned, judged or pushed away for whatever it is. Once you've given someone your heart, you trust and know that they won't break it or throw it away... Unconditional acceptance from both parties...I can't really explain it all that well but I think I'll know it if and when I find it. I think that any emotional intimacy is healthy as long as those who are involved are mature enough and would never do anything to hurt the other.
 
The short answer is allowing yourself to be vulnerable to another human being.
 
Satya said:
The short answer is allowing yourself to be vulnerable to another human being.
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I agree with this.

It's about being with someone as you are without thinking about what the other person is thinking about you. Being able to trust and relax around that person so that your guard is down and you don't feel the need to hide anything. And the other person must feel like this as well.

I guess developing it means strengthening the trust. But I have no idea how to avoid confusing it with something else. I mean you can't see inside other people and although there is trust from your part, the other person might not feel the same way, not fully at least. You know what they say about love, that one part of the relationship is always more invested in it than the other. Well, anyway, I don't know.
 
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You feel close...
You are allowed to feel sad and to cry...
You feel you can share anything even your deepest secrets without fear of being judged...
You enjoy smiling and laughing together...
You know the person is always there emotionally and support you when you are in need...

Most importantly, you can be yourself...

:m093:
 
it is looking in eachothers eyes and feel that both your souls are opening up to eachother. It is knowing that we think and feel the same and both feel connected. And ofcourse sharing your deepest feelings without having fear of the reaction!
 
I agree with you all pretty much.
 
Stellar Affinity said:
So if you translate that into emotional intimacy, to me it's developing such a powerful bond that transcends words. To be able to trust in someone, completely.


To trust that if you were to fall, the one you love will be right there to catch you. Being able to tell that person what is on your mind/heart and knowing that you won't be condemned, judged or pushed away for whatever it is. Once you've given someone your heart, you trust and know that they won't break it or throw it away... Unconditional acceptance from both parties...


I can't really explain it all that well but I think I'll know it if and when I find it. I think that any emotional intimacy is healthy as long as those who are involved are mature enough and would never do anything to hurt the other.
Click to expand...


I agree with this. And how beautifully you worded it. *sigh*
 
Stellar Affinity said:
Well, when I think of intimacy, I think of closeness. Just...closeness. Physical intimacy to me, can mean love-making or embracing the one you love so tight, wrapping each others arms around the other and promising to never let go...

So if you translate that into emotional intimacy, to me it's developing such a powerful bond that transcends words. To be able to trust in someone, completely. To trust that if you were to fall, the one you love will be right there to catch you. Being able to tell that person what is on your mind/heart and knowing that you won't be condemned, judged or pushed away for whatever it is. Once you've given someone your heart, you trust and know that they won't break it or throw it away... Unconditional acceptance from both parties...I can't really explain it all that well but I think I'll know it if and when I find it. I think that any emotional intimacy is healthy as long as those who are involved are mature enough and would never do anything to hurt the other.
Click to expand...

I think you explained it very well.
I never forget to be appreciative of having this level of bond with my husband. 13 years!
 
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I think, to me, emotional intimacy is a connection, including trust and the ability to understand each other.

It's hard.
 
I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it has a lot to do with never having to fake it. And trust. And there are some people you just "get" and who "get" you; you hardly need words...
 
testing said:
I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it has a lot to do with never having to fake it. And trust. And there are some people you just "get" and who "get" you; you hardly need words...
Click to expand...

Yes...
 
Ria said:
emotional intimacy...

I know what it is yes, and am still waiting for someone to share it with...


hurts
Click to expand...
:m032:
 
Becoming in sync with somebody else in the deepest sense of the word.
 
INFJs have a tendency to hide our innermost feelings; emotional intimacy is when we let go of that habit around certain people because we don't fear opening ourselves up to them.
 
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