"Don't hate me because i'm beautiful . . ." | INFJ Forum

"Don't hate me because i'm beautiful . . ."

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 15, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Don't worry i'm not talking about me :D

    This is thread about what we often expect or assume about someone because they are very attractive or beautiful. Sometimes, they are disliked, hated, admired, idolized, envied, or seen as normal except for having extraordinay looks.

    But what's the deal with "hating" beautiful people?


    Meant to be a light hearted discussion.

    Any beautiful people out there, no need to be offended. You will still be adored around the world in different languages. :D
     
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    #1 Gaze, Sep 15, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2010
  2. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Interestingly, I find that very attractive people, at least the ones I have met, tended to be rather kind people. So I also don't understand why some people choose to hate on them. I would assume either jealousy or a pre-judgement that attractive people are somehow mean and look down on those who might not be as "conventionally" attractive. which is just pure nonsense. If anything attractive people have more reason to be kind because they tend to get more handed to them by society and have an easier time with SOME things in life.
     
  3. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    Pretty is as pretty does. I find that your inner spirit will always leave a mark on you. I distinguish between "attractive" and "beautiful". My beliefs state that there are 4 aspects of being: physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Being attractive means only focusing on your physcial aspect while beautiful encompasses someone who has balance and grace in all 4. In a shallow person, the "hating" of anyone is basically envy.
     
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  4. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I think the phrase comes from people being, as said, envious and wanting to "even the odds" made by the differences in hands dealt.

    Is there a correlate hating of mentally gifted individuals as well? Can't think of any common phrases off the top of my head.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    Yes, there is. That would be a good thread topic.
     
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  6. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i've noticed the same thing. i think the hate for beautiful people stems from our innate competitiveness.
     
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  7. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    this jealousy probably comes from people who put too much emphasis on their own appearance. they see someone who looks better than them naturally they're angry.

    i've felt intimidated around people who are attractive b4, but i'd agree its usually unwarranted.
     
  8. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Also long time held stereotypes. Like the stories of "Ice Queens", beautiful but extremely cold rulers. Also, in modern times its seen as "cool" to be a hot uber-bitch which doesn't help at all.

    About the "other attributes" getting hate: when I was in elementary school I took a lunch time Art class and one day, as I was picking at tiny details in one of my drawings -- having fun with making it perfect -- my "friend" (I use the term loosly >.>) just burst out saying "Stop it already we all know your good at it!" I just gave her a look like she was crazy. I bet the embassesment knowing everyone heard her be so evil was punishment enough, besides, if I said anything I'd suddenly "prove her right" or something. I was really pissed off and hurt though. Its like if you're not great at something you get made fun of, but if you are good at it enough to not be made fun of, everyone hates you instead!
     
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  9. Raccoon Love

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    People tend to assume certain stereotypes about attractive people such as arrogance. Even though it is true for some, it is largely a misconception. In reality a lot of people look at faults because the other has something they don't have, weather it be intelligence, beauty or any other characteristic. Truth is like everyone said, there seems to be a high sense of competitiveness among humans, and for some reason we must be better then the person next to us. It reminds me of a lot of questions on psychology tests, like: ''If your friend achieves a higher position, would you congratulate him/her or feel jealous?. I thin its related to one's own self-esteem.
     
    #9 Raccoon Love, Sep 16, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
  10. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    Jealousy and competition. A beautiful women walks into a bar and every other woman there clings to her man. They know she is more physically attractive and they all assume that if given the chance their dates would leave them for her. I assume that some of them wish that her reflection is what they saw in the mirror every day. Now not only is she a threat she's an unattainable goal. At this point they don't want to get to know her. They just want to hate her. It makes them feel better.
     
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  11. toska

    toska Community Member

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    I have a very attractive friend and it's funny how people seem to love her at first because she is also a very bubbly, likable ENTP. After a while certain people (usually very nasty, negative, insecure people) become insanely jealous of the power she has over other people.
     
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  12. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    It's human nature to treat something that you find attractive in a different light. Some are subjected to this more then others, but for the most part everyone is to a degree. It also garners a lot more "focus" on the person because they become more of an object of interest. Because of that the person is seen under a microscope in a sense, and therefore people react to them with stronger opinions and preconceived notions.
     
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  13. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    different topic but words after my own heart.
     
  14. Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    I've always found them to be the complete opposite. And no, I don't hate beautiful people. If there are any that are kind, it's because life is a whole lot easier if you're beautiful, a lot of doors open, so, there's less to be bitter about, it's easy to be kind if you're happy. BTW, had a "best friend" once, years ago, who was a model, she got boyfriends, jobs, free this, free that, you name it, sooooooooooooooo easily because of her looks, yet she was the biggest bitch ever. She used me to do all her dirty work.
     
  15. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    While there are people who are this way, it's not necessarily a constant. And, I don't think it's fair to say that beautiful people are kind because life is easier. That's an assumption that I am sure many beautiful people would disagree with. People go through hard times no matter what they look like. I have been blessed to know beautiful people who were beautiful inside and out. They didn't live easy lives either. Hardship is not exclusive to the average or below average looking.
     
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  16. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I wonder if there is a correlation and, if so, which way it swings.

    I can come up with too many explanations to guess whether attractive people are more or less kind than average.

    Of course, it would probably be due to a related third variable.
     
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  17. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    She does make a good point though, beautiful people don't have it easy, they have it easier then people who aren't considered quite so attractive. As physical creatures we live in a world of material and we cant help but to subconsciously see things the way we do most of the time. People will tend to be more open and inviting to attractive people, friendlier and more receptive.
     
  18. KorJax

    KorJax Community Member

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    This is true. I think how hard someone has had it growing up with something that runs deep with them directly correlates to how high they fall on the "douchebag factor", in addition to if they had gotten any negative influences if they did have a hard time.

    Pretty people and/or people who generally have it off well living the "ideal" childhood and teenage life we all dream up (but never get) I've noticed tended to be much more selfish, ignorant, elitist, insenstive, and just in general douchy.

    Now this is easy to fix I think by proper parenting that teaches that the above traits are undesirable to have, but I don't think it's very common knowledge.
     
  19. Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    Yes, that's exactly what I meant. I wasn't jealous of my beautiful friend at all, we had completely different taste in men and various other things so there was never any competition. I just saw so many people tripping over themselves to do stuff for her, she got given free VIP passes to the most exclusive clubs in the country, she had every gorgeous/rich man offering to take her on vacation etc etc, yet she treated people like dirt.
     
  20. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    I don't think beautiful people should be hated, anymore than the next person should be hated, but I do think that if someone has both beauty and a weaker character/inflated ego, that they can be some of the most insufferable people to be around. Why? Because they have little to no empathy or humility, and life tends to revolve around them and their needs.

    But to be fair, this can occur with people who aren't beautiful as well. You can be exceptionally talented in the arts, or sports, or have a high intellectual ability, too, and still act this way. If you take pride in those things (and that talent consumes you) then you can be really snotty and not a nice person in general to be around. And I think we've all met those types of folks. Lol!

    Thing is, humility can make all the difference in the world. When a person realizes that there are others who are as equally talented or beautiful or smart or gifted or sporty, or even realize and appreciate folks who are better (or worse) than them, and when it no longer becomes a "competition" with them, then those folks become inspirations rather than frustrations.
     
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