Doing the right thing _only_ when nobody is looking | INFJ Forum

Doing the right thing _only_ when nobody is looking

Joonas

Newbie
Mar 23, 2011
26
3
0
MBTI
entp
Enneagram
6w7, 1w2, 4w5
I find that doing a nice thing to someone while being watched feels really awkward, especially if it isn't expected.
Is that normal/understandable?

I'm basically manipulating people to think that I'm not interested in their well being to avoid the awkward feeling, and I haven't been able to find anything about such behaviour.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nixie
you're a penguin
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Majesty
I find that doing a nice thing to someone while being watched feels really awkward, especially if it isn't expected.
Is that normal/understandable?

I'm basically manipulating people to think that I'm not interested in their well being to avoid the awkward feeling, and I haven't been able to find anything about such behaviour.

I would say normal/understandable is too subjective to answer. However, it would seem you have made a "value judgement" either against being publically acknowledged for your deeds or you consider your deeds "wrong" somehow. There could be other possibilites, I haven't taken the time to formulate all the possible variables and just went with the most obvious.
 
I find that doing a nice thing to someone while being watched feels really awkward, especially if it isn't expected.
Is that normal/understandable?

I'm basically manipulating people to think that I'm not interested in their well being to avoid the awkward feeling, and I haven't been able to find anything about such behaviour.

I would do this if I was worried I would be praised for my niceness (which would be embarrassing) or I would feel embarrassed that other people would look and go "oh that's nice" or, perhaps, when someone is watching, I feel that I am playing up to the camera - so to speak - or that they will perceive it that way.
 
Yes, I wouldn't be one to enjoy any attention on the matter. Depending on the situation, I would find a way to do the (good) deed anonymously, but I'd be equally uncomfortable about manipulating things too much.
 
I find that doing a nice thing to someone while being watched feels really awkward, especially if it isn't expected.
Is that normal/understandable?

I'm basically manipulating people to think that I'm not interested in their well being to avoid the awkward feeling, and I haven't been able to find anything about such behaviour.


Yeaaaa, I know what you're talking about. I always worry that people will think I'm being fake or something.

Some people have told me that this is Fe, but I guess not since you've typed yourself as ENTP.
 
Yeaaaa, I know what you're talking about. I always worry that people will think I'm being fake or something.

Some people have told me that this is Fe, but I guess not since you've typed yourself as ENTP.
entps have fe in their 2nd/super ego.
Ne-Ti-Fe-Si
 
Back when I was religious, I believed that anonymous acts of goodness would be rewarded a bazillion times over in the next life, instead of receiving a bit of praise in this life. You know, keeping your left hand in the dark or whatever.

These days, awkwardness is bad.
 
Yeah I get this too.

I think people in general don't like having people's views of them altered, even if it's not a view they like.