Does it make me crazy to feel that my books are my friends | INFJ Forum

Does it make me crazy to feel that my books are my friends

La Sagna

La Sagna

I did it! I'm a butterfly!
Oct 27, 2013
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I have to downsize quite a bit and decide what I am keeping and what I am giving away. I looked at my bookshelves and my thought was 'I can't give my books away, they're my friends'.

I have loved books since as far back as I can remember. I still remember the first time I went to a library. I thought I was in heaven. It was the most wonderful place that I had ever been to.

I have always wanted my own library in my home. I kind of have that now. One wall of my office is bookshelves full of books. For some reason that is a comforting thing for me. I have gotten rid of many books already, ones that didn't mean anything, maybe given to me by somebody who just didn't have a clue what a good book is, or just ones that really didn't live up to what I thought they would be. I also used to collect antique books just because I love the way the look. I got rid of most of those, except for a few special ones.

I really don't want to get rid of the rest. They are my friends. They were there to comfort me when I was sad. They were there to inspire me to be a better person or reach for a goal. They were there to teach some important lessons. They were there to help me feel less lonely. They were basically the ones I could count on when nobody was there for me. I have an e-reader but it's just not the same. I want to feel the book in my hands. I want to see it sitting on my shelf just waiting for the day that I might decide that it's time to read it again.

I want to keep my books. They are my friends. I don't care if people think I'm crazy. If they do, then I know they have not enjoyed reading books the way I have.
 
I know how you feel... don't worry it's normal actually. When I used to be in my old school,I didn't have much friend however books are there, they told me many adventure, many facts, many knowledge, for me I learn to keep these facts all to myself since people tends to not care at all and just tease you
 
The simple answer is no.

When younger I used to attach "feeling" to inanimate" objects. As one example, I was very upset when the family car was gotten rid of. It was like losing a friend and family remember. Remember I was like 5 or 6 at the time. If I continued to feel that way at the age I am now, I think it would make life more difficult than necessary.
 
After you said you got rid of ones you didn't like and prized sentiment over collectability I knew this was a nice thing.

If it becomes an impediment on living the life you want or you find yourself living uncomfortably in the past because of them, maybe it would be time to re-evalute.

But the way you describe it, absolutely not. I don't know that I would use the word friends but I can see what you mean.
 
Attaching sentiment to an object can be the beginning of hoarding. However, if you have the space, it doesn't matter.

Nevertheless, what you have gained from the books is in you now. If you treasure the insight - treasure it as part of you. Esteeming a book is just a bypass and avoidance of beginning to deal with learning to esteem yourself. (In moderation, with a firm grasp on realistic humility).
 
i love my books. my shelf looks awesome and i love displaying my reading achievements, even if im the only person who ever sees them. i have some sweet ones. my favs are a silver penguin modern classics edition of Ulysses with dreadful and unreadable annotations that i slowly stumbled through, my black penguin classics edition of Clarissa with an iridescent pink love heart sticker i stuck and cracks all down the spine (and i defaced the cover to black out the figure intended to represent Lovelace - the only book ive ever defaced), a moody looking Robert Louis Stevenson bindup of 7 novels from Barnes & Noble, a Jack London bindup of 5 novels (it looks really like "fun boys edition" type of thing), a Gone With The Wind original "Holiday Edition" from way back when and with a very fragile paper dustjacket that i covered in special book wrapping plastic that i learned to use at work, a special signed limited edition slipcase of The Secret History and The Little Friend, a lovely looking (although shockingly poorly translated) hardcover of The Plague that a dear old friend bought me and inscribed with some wonderful fond words, a hardcover of "The Search for Cleopatra" by Michael Foss that my mother bought me when i was in highschool, an anniversary artist commissioned edition of 1984, my battered black penguin classics Metamorphoses... and probably a couple of others.

(i dont have any of those shitty orange penguins though)

i think its OK to collect them. hoarding is something thats like you know when its totally out of control. thats a problem. when you have a limit on what you obtain and retain, and you are able to keep the size of the collection manageable and orderly, i think thats completely reasonable. i spent so much time with those books and they taught me so much... i love them and i dont want to give them up. also, its a library in the sense that i refer to it at times.

but i just got my kobo today and it is so awesome. i think its really good for a lot of things. for a lot of serious literary reading, its no good. i wouldnt read literature on it. on the other hand, i might read contemporary verse on it, because the editions that are compiled of those texts regardless of electronic or not probably have a high degree of integrity, there is excellent version control of contemporary texts. and i might as well read certain modern classics on it for much the same reason, like why not read Patrick White on it? but it would be impossible to read Shakespeare on it, or Cervantes, or Joyce, or probably also Bronte or Austen. but for reading other things, such as genre novels, or popular fiction, i am very excited about having it, its excellent. its a lovely device and i dont have to bother with ordering books from overseas and taking them through a cashier. i can stuff my mind with as much compulsively readable fiction as i can take and i can obtain it in the most convenient way. its very exciting... im very infatuated with it. im so happy i didnt go with the other most popular ereader (we dont use the "A" word in my little world... although we may still sometimes buy music through them.)
 
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PS Oxford Worlds Classics and Norton Critical Editions forever. Broadview is cool too. Arden Shakespeare only for Shakespeare! Cambridge New Shakespeare never ever ever. Gollancz for sci fi! Vintage sux puke popsicles. Penguin black classics and silver modern classics well... sometimes, when im not indulging my inner snob.
 
Give your books away to others and think of it as a way to let someone else find a friend, and to make room for you to make new friends as well.
 
[MENTION=9809]La Sagna[/MENTION]

I thought I was the only one, lol. I love my books and become attached to them. The ironic thing is that I often make statements that people are too materialistic in my culture, but somehow it's okay that I buy way more books than I'm ever going to read. It's hypocritical of me really. I can hear myself saying now, "But, books are different!" It did become a problem for me. I had so many books that I didn't have any room for them all. So I made a decision to look at them at ask of each of them, "Am I ever going to read you again?" If the answer was probably not, then I put them in a garbage bag to go out to the curb. I felt like I was abandoning a baby, lol. What was funny about when I did that, I ended up taking many of them back out of the garbage bag in the end. I just couldn't do it. I've donated or given away a lot of books as well. Anyways, I have this little library nook that is in the back corner of my house, where no one can see it. I will often go there and look through them, reread some of them, and just space out. I am attached to my library of books.

It's so tough deciding to get rid of books! I feel so bad for you!
 
All very good comments guys. thanks. I think I will probably still get rid of some of them but I will try to keep most of them. I'll have to see how much space I have when I move. I was just surprised when the idea of them as 'friends' popped into my head as I was looking at them deciding if I should get rid of them.

I'm not a hoarder by nature because I do like some order and things to be clean and looking good but my house did become probably the beginnings of hoarding because of certain circumstances in my life, including inheriting stuff from people that I loved who passed away. I decided it was time to start purging a couple of years ago. I had to learn that getting rid of something that was my mother's wasn't getting rid of her or disrespecting her in any way. I will only keep what I really like but it's not easy downsizing drastically. I'm afraid I will regret getting rid of something when it is too late. I know they're just things...
 
ive always had a tendency to collect possessions and in the past it became a problem. then as i addressed this problem, getting rid of things became thrilling. ive gotten rid of certain things i really didnt want and then regretted it tremendously anyway, wept, grieved, cursed myself, etc. but much in life is regrettable, its not the end of the world. and in the end... to a certain degree yes, they are just objects.
 
Absolutely not. I feel strongly about my books as well.
They are my sanctuary.
 
people have written the books, you're relating to someone.

what is crazy anyway?
 
I love my books. I do thin them out every once in awhile and donate them to goodwill or some place like that. I could not fathom giving all my books away. I told my mom that all I wanted was the set of Great Books that came with the Encyclopedia Britannica books they bought back in the day. I could never get rid of the ones I really love. Shoot, I still go back and re-read them every couple of years.

I don't have issues with tossing stuff away except for books...like when they are falling apart or something...I still grapple with just throwing it away....it is a BOOK!!!

My mom gave me my dad's ebook thingy after he passed. I like it but I couldn't imagine just turning my library into electronic files. I'm still searching for the perfect paperback book bookcases...I may have to learn how to make one!
 
Nixie said:
I love my books. I do thin them out every once in awhile and donate them to goodwill or some place like that. I could not fathom giving all my books away. I told my mom that all I wanted was the set of Great Books that came with the Encyclopedia Britannica books they bought back in the day. I could never get rid of the ones I really love. Shoot, I still go back and re-read them every couple of years.

I don't have issues with tossing stuff away except for books...like when they are falling apart or something...I still grapple with just throwing it away....it is a BOOK!!!

My mom gave me my dad's ebook thingy after he passed. I like it but I couldn't imagine just turning my library into electronic files. I'm still searching for the perfect paperback book bookcases...I may have to learn how to make one!
Click to expand...

I too find it difficult to get rid of old books. Even selling them is hard!

I end up putting books away in storage rather than selling them. It's hard to get rid of books. I like to highlight and take notes so the books I own are that much more meaningful.

I do the same thing with digital books but highlighting in an ebook isn't the same...

Books... I cling to them. Books are full of personal memories.
 
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